


Turn On The Bright Lights

by Guardiangel



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Drama, F/F, F/M, First Time, Fluff, Gen, M/M, Male Homosexuality, Manga & Anime, Multi, NSFW, Oral Sex, Otabek - Fandom - Freeform, Otayuri - Fandom - Freeform, Pliroy, Romance, Rough Sex, Sex, VictUuri, Yaoi, Yuri Plisetsky - Fandom - Freeform, Yuri on Ice - Freeform, otayuri - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-18
Updated: 2018-05-26
Packaged: 2019-01-19 04:09:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 18
Words: 44,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12402687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Guardiangel/pseuds/Guardiangel
Summary: Yuri Plisetsky is an university student like any other. Except for the fact that he has ceased to be Yuri Plisetsky for some time. Now he needs to get his true self, and for that, he will need to break through his fears and insecurities.Yuri was determined to get his Eros back, and it all gets easier when you have an unexpected help, right?





	1. Addicted to coffee

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, people!
> 
> This is my Portuguese fanfic that I translated. I'm really sorry for any english errors, I did my best. But I hope you understand the core of my fic. And I hope you like it! :)
> 
> Kudos, comments and subs are always welcome!

I was on another morning of my third year in Literature college. Bored with the monotonous movement of the corridors, I headed for the empty classroom. There was a lot to study. I had never felt so suffocated with my academic life, I had a lot of monthly work that did not even give me the opportunity to do something for myself.

That says a lot about the person I am today. My name is Yuri Plisetsky, a very busy boy. I am 19 years old. I went to university at 17 and as soon as I entered higher education, I lost myself completely as a person. I've always been very temperamental, determined and confident about life. When there was something to be accomplished, I was the one to take the reins and make it happen. However, 2 years later, my true self was already asleep due to situations that occurred at the beginning of the course.

Now, I might as well use the expression "low profile" to define me. I did not know my freshmen, I was very suspicious of people and had only one close friend whom I trusted blindly. Yuuri Katsuki was my confidant, right arm, left, legs and everything. He was the only one who showed that he truly cared for me, the only one who supported me. My relationship with other faculty members was resumed to brief conversations in the hallway and in the classroom, and even these interactions were usually about bureaucratic matters of academic life.

In the beginning of the evening, I sent a message to my favorite little pig asking him to find me in the usual place. I received a simple but powerful "I don’t know why you keep going there! ". I shivered slightly as I read it, but decided to ignore for the moment. I took a deep breath and continued my way to the Exact Sciences Center building.

Almost every day, traveling 2 kilometers by bicycle from the building of the Center of Languages and Literature to the Center of Exact Sciences, I wondered why I still did it. I was on my way to the Cafe that I loved so much. There were different Cafes in my own center, but none of them mattered the same as the one I was now addressing. Passing through the trees of different colorations, I felt the pleasant spring breeze on my face as I accelerated on the bike lane. It was what I needed at the time, to feel free to think and relax.

I arrived at the Cafe and sat on the counter in front of the wall. It was more comfortable to drink my coffee with a slight touch of milk candy, without people watching me. "2 years before, I would sit right in the middle and have no problem being the center of attention," I thought to myself and gave a faint laugh as I realized that the reason for my change had begun right there. Even my clothes have changed. I always liked wearing feline prints and stylish clothes, but now my favorite colors were black and white. Today in particular, I was completely black. A simple black t-shirt, relatively fair to my body, but without revealing much of my torso, a skinny black pants and a black cowhide. Perfect for anyone who wanted to go unnoticed, but well dressed.

I looked at my cell phone for information about Yuuri's whereabouts and had received a message from him.

YK - "Arriving in 5 minutes"

I - "Okay, just do not take too long because I have to go back for dinner"

YK - "You ask me to meet you and still want to make demands? ; D "

I - "I thought friends were for this ..."

YK - "Right. I'm coming, Yurio "

A minute after the last message, I heard the doorbell ring and I turned, imagining it was Yuuri going inside.

How wrong I was.

I knew he would always go back to that place. Living his life as always: in a carefree and irresponsible way.

I immediately turned back to the counter, frantically hoping he had not seen me in the room. As always, it was to be expected that I had noticed, my shoulder-length blond hair and my emerald-green eyes are very striking features, and were part of what brought us together at first. He greeted me.

\- Hi, Yuri! You're still coming here, aren’t you?

\- That's none of your business, is it?"

\- No. But you could be kinder to the person who introduced you to the place you love so much ..."

\- Tsc! My coffee has cooled. I'm leaving.

\- See you, Yuri. I hope we meet again.

\- I'll keep coming here. We will see each other again, but not because of my desire to see you, which is absolutely zero.

It was a lie. I wanted to see him. I wanted to confront him. Not to go back with our relationship, but to recover the he took from me.  
I stepped hard to the door and opened it with all the force of the anger I was trying to contain. Blinded by my feelings, I did not realize that a person came in and bumped into him with all my might. As I was putting my backpack on my shoulders as I opened the door, unfortunately my elbow struck directly into the person's face, which I now perceived with attention. He was a young man with a dark complexion and dark eyes, but a bit milky, resembling a gray. Her hair was scraped on the low head circumference, however, relatively long overhead. Within seconds I had kept his image in my mind. It was memorable.

\- P-Please, I'm sorry!

\- It was nothing! I'll be fine. I guess...

\- I was careless, it's totally my fault. If you want I can take you to the hospital or ...

\- I do not think that's the case." I guarantee that I'll be fine. If you want, you can buy me some coffee any later, I'm always here.

He spoke so kindly and with such a serious face that I could not make a connection between what he had just said and what his face showed.

Again, I apologized to the boy and left.

I met Yuuri heading for the Cafe and pulled his arm in the direction I was walking.

\- What happened, Yurio?" You look a little upset.

\- It happened as always do, Pig. Shit happens and I'm the victim of some fatality that approaches me to him.

\- I knew he would be there. I always wonder why you keep going back to the Cafe where you met ... I would like to say words of wisdom like "do not do this if you want to recover" or "go on with your life and leave the past behind”, but I know you wouldn’t listen to me.

\- I hear you, Yuuri. I swear I do. But I've already lost a good part of who I am because of him, I cannot help doing one of the few things that still gives me pleasure in this shitty life.

\- That is true. You cannot quit coffee, because you have abandoned sex since ages.

I punched him on the shoulder and started laughing. Was he right.

We take the driving back to our neighborhood. Yuuri lived near me, which compelled me to wait for him to return home. Although I enjoyed being alone, my friend's company always brought me good times, so putting up bizarre conversations about his relationship with one of the college professors was just a detail. As we got off the bus, we said goodbye and I made my way back home. In the few remaining meters there, an image struck me like lightning. The sky was dark and cloudy in the late afternoon, contradicting the early spring image. I remembered the eyes of the boy I hit at the Cafe. I laughed at myself in the kind and serious manner he treated me.

As Goethe would say: "[...] no one knows how far his forces are going, since he has not yet put them to the test." I would need my strength to return to my favorite place, after all, I had a coffee that was not mine to pay.


	2. Agape

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys! There you have it! Chapter 2 is on. I really hope you like it. Again, please forgive me for any english errors.
> 
> Comments, kudos and subs are always welcome!

Being at home is comforting.

I arrived and greeted my grandfather with a kiss on the forehead. If Yuuri was my arms and legs, my grandfather was my spine. Nikolai Plisetsky sustained me unswervingly. Although I never met my parents, because I was adopted, I never felt alone, because grandpa was my mother and father since I was 3 years old. He was the only reason I'd felt like coming home every day.

Nikolai was a man as I was in the days past, although he was very gentle and kind, he was resolute and imposing, after all, he was the one who taught me to always walk tall. When he realized my sexual orientation when I was still a child, he appealed to all psychologists. Not to heal me, he knew I did not need it, but to learn how to deal with me and the people around me. The world was full of evil and he protected me the best he could, just as he taught me to protect myself. When I reached adolescence, I began to reflect on everything he had done for me and how his love was unique and my love for him only increased with each day that we spent together. There are different Greek expressions for what love is. Agape is unconditional love, generally interpreted as the kind of love of God dispensed to mankind. I prefer to think like the love that goes beyond simple bonds and that abnegates totally in favor of the other. This is my love for my grandfather and his for me.

\- Grandpa! What do we have for dinner today? Don’t tell me it's going to be Piroshki again?

\- Well well! What a sassy boy! He does not even make his food and wants to complain about what I do for dinner...

\- I know you love me!

\- I made cheese pie for you. I know you've been very busy lately with all college stuff, so I want to make sure my boy has carbohydrates in his body and a smile on his face.

My heart always warms up when I see the little things my grandfather does for me. I hugged him tightly and felt my emotions of the day rising. I think I trembled a bit, because my grandfather asked me:

\- What happened, Yuratchka? Have you seen him again?

\- This is a vicious cycle, Grandpa. Every time I see him I feel like the scum of humanity.

\- And what do you do after that, son? What did I teach you?

\- I raise my head and move on.

\- Yura, if you keep pretending to yourself that you're okay, I'll never be able to really help you. Lying to yourself is always the worst lie. I miss my Yuri. Strong, incisive, that would never let a humiliation pass without due justice. My grandson, the boy I raised, would tell me the truth.

I could no longer suppress my feelings and fell next to my grandfather on the couch. I felt my sobs coming, but there were no tears in my eyes. If I had uttered a million words, they would not be enough to tell my grandfather how I felt. I didn’t need to fake anything. I didn’t have to pretend that I still had an ounce of confidence left in me. After calming down a little, my grandfather pulled my head up to his chest, near his shoulder, and offered me his comfort.

\- Son, stop going to the Cafe. Promise me.

\- I can’t promise what I can’t keep. You taught me that.

\- But now I'm going to teach you something new. You can’t heal pain with more pain. I want you to learn how to deal with it. There’s an antidote for what you’re feeling.

\- What are you talking about?

\- That's the lesson you're going to have to learn for yourself, Yuri. But know that it may take time to learn it, while I'm here, you have a base to support whatever it is. I'll be here for you.

I stayed for a few more minutes breathing in her familiar scent, trying to calm myself down. But I felt him rising and changing the subject.

\- Take a shower, Yuratchka. I'll warm up your food.

I nodded and got up to my room. When I arrived, I threw my backpack on the ground, feeling powerless. I went into the bathroom, took off my clothes and went into the modest bathtub. I saw the sky again through the small glass window at the top of the wall. The little light coming through the glass was rapidly disappearing, and the bath water slowly cooling. I hugged my knees in a fetal position, trying to unify myself, feel solid and strong, but the only thing I could see was a transparent Yuri. Or rather, trying to be transparent. At the moment maybe, I was a blur. I had no idea what I could do to go back to being who I was, but I had to start somewhere.

Feeling wrinkled after so much time in the water, I decided to go out and have dinner. I ate quickly and went back to the room to write the summary of a book. While I was writing, I got a message from Yuuri.

YK - Are you going to do something important tomorrow afternoon?

I - I always do important things, piggy. But I can make time for you. 

YK - I know you're do Literature and ...

I - What about that?

YK - Tomorrow I’ll participate in an activity at the University Observatory, and I really wanted you to go with me.

I - Do you really think I would not want to go because I do literature? What an asshole! It had to come from an engineering student himself! ;P 

YK - Well, I can’t guarantee that everyone likes astronomy, doesn’t it? Tomorrow at 3:00 p.m., meet me at the Observatory.

I- I don't know if it's going to be the best activity of my life, but I'll try.

I turned off the cell phone and felt exhausted. Who knows, this was not an opportunity to return to some academic activity? After so long, at least I would not be alone. Yuuri would accompany me and I would have something non-mandatory to occupy my mind. It seemed promising, although I had the impression that I would not understand anything.

The other day I got up early to go to morning classes. I wore a simple white T-shirt, a dark blue cardigan, some skinny jeans, and a black all-star that was my favorite. As I planned, I left home early, attended classes and continued writing the resume that was still unfinished.  
As soon as I was free, I sent Yuuri a message that I was on my way to the Observatory, and arrived almost 1 hour before. I took the opportunity to read a little about the basics of Astronomy. I wanted to be sure that I would not look like an idiot in front of the "scientists," and the Pig assured me that it would be an activity for beginners and people who never heard of the subject.  
Sitting on one of the benches at the observatory, I felt someone approaching me quickly and I was frightened when I realized that the person sat next to me. To my surprise, I came upon the same boy I had reviled at the door of the Cafe.

\- Hello! How's it going?

For a moment I remained unresponsive. I had no words to describe how gorgeous he was. I mean, when we ran into each other the first time, I saw him and etched his face in my mind. It was beautiful, but until then, I haven't thought of how handsome he was. Dressed in a white social shirt with sleeves tucked up to the elbow, a black vest and a gray tie, combined with the most ironic black and ripped black jeans and brown moccasin. It was such a sight. I certainly was not prepared to deal with someone so handsome and overflowing an aura of unbelievable confidence. Everything happened in 2 seconds inside my head.

\- Hi. I... I mean... Hi?

\- Are you alright? Did I scare you?

\- No! I just... I didn’t expect that.

I observed his face closely and saw a purple coin-sized mark pronounced near his right cheek. I HAD MADE THAT. I felt so guilty for having made a mark on someone I didn’t even know.

\- So, you're interested in Astronomy? Did you come to the Observatory's weekly activity?

\- I don’t know if I am the best person to participate in the activity, but my friend convinced me and here I am.

\- I understand...

\- I'm really sorry

\- Why are you apologizing to me?

\- Your face... There's a purple spot. I really didn’t want to hit you. I was distracted.

\- Water under the bridge. The only thing I demand as an excuse is a coffee.

He smiled genuinely and made me blush in a way I haven’t for a long time.

\- By the way, I still don’t know your name.

\- My name is Yuri Plisetsky. And yours?

At that moment, a tall, long-haired man peculiarly platinum to his young face and blue eyes pulled the man by my side and hurried carrying the lower one with a psycho look and shouting things in a language that I never heard. The guy I hit shouted at me as he walked away.

\- We'll talk after the event!

I just had time to wave at him.

Yuuri burst through the doors immediately with a passionate look, telling me:

\- He's stunning, is he not?

\- Yes, too amazing to be true.

It took me a second to figure out what was going on.

\- Hey! Are you dating the guy with the platinum hair?" Is he the teacher you’ve been talking about?

\- Do not talk about my angel, Yura! It is a sin!

\- Yuuri Katsuki, you better start making some sense.

\- Not now, buddy. We cannot be late.

My friend pulled me into the circular room in which I saw a giant telescope (at least by my standards) and joined the rest of the people and to my surprise (or not), HE was there. I felt my legs tremble a little, but it was part of my recovery. My grandfather and the pig were right. I had to overcome it, or I wouldn’t be able to face life again. I hit my feet hard on the floor and forced myself to remain in the room. Yuuri noticed my condition and put a hand on my shoulder to support me. But soon his hand came out and hit his other hand in clenched palms as he watched his beloved teacher enter the telescope room.  
I looked for the mysterious boy among the participating students and didn’t see him, which caused me a certain strangeness, for he seemed very excited about the activity.

\- Good afternoon! My name is Victor Nikforov. I am a professor of Astronomy and I’ll be your guide for the space-time of this activity of astronomical proportions!

Several people burst into laughter and applause, and I felt lonely for not being amused by such a joke.

\- I want to introduce you, my PhD student, Otabek Altin.

Otabek walked gracefully into the room, seeming to have intimacy with that place, which incredibly matched perfectly with its serene and gentle atmosphere and remained side-by-side with Victor.

\- Please introduce yourself and tell us what course you have taken and why you are doing this activity.

To my surprise and the others, the person I hate the most, he shouted in a hurried way:

\- Professor Nikforov! Looks like we have a literature student here! Is it not better to revise what is 2 + 2?  
All the other participants exploded in laughter and my head started spinning. It felt like a punch in the stomach. My mind told me, "Fight! Make him pay!", but my heart stopped me from doing anything and my body instinctively turned towards the exit. Yuuri was right behind me and that was the only thing I could pick up from that moment. When the tears finally rolled, a single thought ran through my head.

"You have serious mental problems, JJ."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, JJ is a douchebag. I really hate him in this history.  
> Yura is my baby and need protection, but he has to do it for himself.
> 
> I hope you guys continue to read and support this fic. It is all for you. <3


	3. The Hunt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, guys!
> 
> I just have to say thank you for everything. There's no coffee yet, but it will soon. The rest I say in the final notes. Enjoy reading and hope you like it!  
> If you like, feel free to share with your friends, comment, leave a kudo and sub.

My head is chaotic.  
I was crying too much. They were not tears of sadness, they were pure anger. Pure hate. I hate myself for that. I let it happen again. He threw me into the fire and watched me burn and crawl in front of all those people.  
Yuuri got me and hugged me tightly, telling me:

\- I'm sorry, Yura! I had no idea he would be there. I ask for forgiveness, from the bottom of my heart!

\- It’s ok, Pig. I know it's not your fault. I'm the one to blame!

I spoke in a choked voice and felt that Yuuri was crying too. I didn’t want to see my friend that way because of me. We've been through this phase together and I did not want it to happen again.  
When I raised my head, I saw Otabek hurrying towards me with a worried look.

\- Are you alright? I mean, that guy ... What the fuck was he thinking?

\- I'm fine, Otabek. I shouldn’t have made a scene for that.

\- You didn’t make a scene! Real scene happened when you're gone. Professor Nikforov expelled that guy of the lecture and said: “This isn’t an human behavior”.

\- Oh! Really? He’s certainly is not used to being treated like that.

\- I took him out of the room and came to check on you.

Yuuri let go of me, looked speculatively at Otabek and said:

\- Yura, I'm going back now. If you need anything, I'll be in there.

I nodded and saw Yuuri leaving. When he left my field of vision, I felt warm arms around me in a tight embrace.  
It was indescribable. That heat on my body, was a sign of danger, just like the heady smell that exuded from his clothes and skin. I felt stunned with a ton of information that my synapses were sending me.  
I regained consciousness a few seconds later and realized that feeling offended somehow. I didn't need to be comforted by a stranger, however comforting.

\- You know, Otabek. I'm not that weak. It was only a moment. It's over.

He nodded, stopped hugging me, looked deep into my eyes and said:

\- I never said you were weak, Yuri. Quite the opposite. Your eyes look like soldier's eyes.

\- I'm not sure what you're saying, but I'll be fine. Really.

\- I truly hope so. I need to get back the lecture now, but I still want to have that coffee with you, if you’re available later.

Was it a simple and pure proposition? I didn’t want to sound rude, since he was so kind to me, but today I couldn’t have a conversation without seeming too sentimental.

\- I want to go. But today is not the best day. I have many works to be delivered and they are being accumulated more and more.

\- Aren’t you going back to the lecture?

\- I'll attend, but not today. I don’t want to be the subject of the conversation. I don’t know if you understand me…

\- All right, Yuri. It is not an ultimatum.

\- Well, since I'm going to blow you out, we better exchange our contacts. I'm a very busy person, and maybe I'll forget about you ...  
I said joking.

\- I think you may realize that I'm a very busy person too, Yuri. Maybe i will forget you too  
He spoke with a laugh, and this time, with a face not even serious.

We exchanged our contacts and he left for the telescope room with an indecipherable expression.  
I sent a message to Yuuri, warning that I was going home and that we would talk more about it later. I decided that I wanted to pedal a bit to relax and clear my thoughts, but I would have to walk for about 5 minutes to the next bike station.  
Passing through the empty hallway that leads to the parking lot, I see a male silhouette at the end of the corridor, but I don’t recognize it, as it has a hooded jacket over its head. As I approach the person, I unfortunately recognize the face and see that Jean has not left yet, although he was dragged by Otabek to the exit.  
I try to enter one of the cross corridors to look for an alternative route, but all ended in doors, none in exits.

\- Why are you running away, Yuri?  
He approached me like a snake.

\- I'm not running away. I just don’t want to see you again. It makes me sick.

\- Do I disgust you? I think you forgot that you don’t feel any disgust in my body, do you?

\- What do you want, Jean?

\- Why is the kitten so shy? You weren’t shy that day... Quite the contrary, it was an experience from another world!  
He laughed and made me want to vomit.

Meanwhile my hands began to sweat. I was already destabilized enough.

\- Excuse me. I want to leave.

He closed me against the wall, putting his arms around me so I could not get away.

\- It's more exciting if you let go a little more, Yura. I miss the time you were a tiger with everyone, but was a kitten when you were with me. I can turn you into my pet again...

\- You will not do anything to me! Stay away from me!

I shrieked and shoved his arms. I don’t know where did I get the strength for it, but I managed to push it and run to the exit, just in time to hear:

\- I will not let you go, Yura. I will always be near you.

That phrase had nothing to do with my well-being. It was a threat and my body understood. I don’t know why 2 years later he was doing that, but the message was clear: I was the hunt, and he was the hunter.  
I gave up taking the bike. I wasn’t even able to get on the bus. I needed to call a taxi to get home. As I arrived earlier than usual, my grandfather should still be busy buying things for dinner. Good. If he saw me in this state he would surely die of concern, and I couldn’t let that happen.  
As I opened the door to my room, I felt chills in my body. A succession of them, along with an absurd seasickness that made me go straight to the bathroom and vomit all the food of the day. I lay down on the bed and tried to take a nap to be okay when my grandfather arrived. I closed my eyes and all the things came to light.  
I started to breathe so badly, so fast that my lungs could not expel CO2, my heart was beating very fast and irregularly, which made me feel dizzy as if I had breathed into a bottle of soda. Something in my mind told me to calm down and breathe deeply, but my body simply did not obey.  
I gradually managed to normalize my breathing and my heartbeat, so I fell asleep.  
I woke up to my grandfather's voice calling me.

\- Yuratchka? Were you at home all this time?

\- Hi Grandpa. I fell asleep and forgot to turn on the lights.

\- Shall we eat then? I have prepared borsch and I assure you it is not as salty as last time.

\- I'm coming, Grandpa. I just need a few more minutes.

He touched my head gently and left saying:  
\- If you don’t stand up to eat, I drag you to the kitchen!

I laughed at that. Although I wasn’t feeling 100% well, I was better off after getting some sleep. I took a quick shower before eating, feeling more relaxed. I went into the kitchen and sat on the counter to eat my soup that was already on the bottom plate. My grandfather looked at me and asked,  
\- What kind of face is that, Yuri? You are sick?  
\- No. It was just a tiring day and I needed to get some rest. I'm healthy as a horse!  
I forced a smile not to worry him. He seemed to accept it and didn’t ask me anything else. After finishing, I entered my room, locked it, and decided to call Yuuri. My cell phone was off and no battery, I put it to charge and I saw 13 messages and 5 missed calls. My little Pig must have been very worried about me.

YK - Why did you go home without talking to me before?  
YK - I was worried.  
YK - Forgive me, Yuri.  
YK: I'm feeling bad about all this.  
YK: I should have confronted him.  
YK - I'm so retarded.  
YK: Why do not you answer me, Yura?  
YK - Are you sad to me?  
YK - Call me when you can.

I finished reading his messages and saw 4 more.

Otabek - I had a lot to do, but green is my favorite color.  
Otabek - I'll set you free to pick the coffee day.  
Otabek - When you decide, let me know.  
Otabek - I hope you're feeling better.  
I thought about what I was going to say to both Yuuri and Otabek, but I still needed a significant amount of sleep, so I ended up lying down before answering. Tomorrow I'll settle the situation with them.  
I woke up feeling very rested. I was better for sure, but now I would have to deal with my friend and my non-friend Otabek. First, I called Yuuri.

\- Yura?

\- It's me Katsudon. I am fine. I'm alive.

\- I was very worried, you disappeared from nowhere after talking to Victor's handsome pupil. He had come back, and you didn’t. I thought maybe you two…

\- No! I mean, we've already met, but it's nothing.

\- Do you want to talk on the phone or do you want to meet me today?

\- I really want to tell you about everything, Pig, but today I have a commitment.

\- Right then. Tomorrow you are mine, Yura! Let's do like the old days, let's play and eat snacks while complaining about anything.

\- That’s for sure, Piggy.

\- I love you, Yura. You're like a brother to me. I will always be here for you.

\- I love you too, sentimental one!

My grandfather was my Agape, Yuuri was my Philos. Brother's love, friend's love. I was happy to have him in my life.  
Otabek was waiting for my answer.

I - Are you available today, sir?  
While I was getting ready, I heard the cellphone ringing the message alarm.

Otabek - Wanna meet me at the Cafe in the Science Building?

I - No, I don’t want to go there today. Why don’t you surprise me and take me somewhere else?

Otabek - Right. I know where we're going. Maybe you should tell your family you're coming home late.

I - Where are you going to take me?

Otabek - Do not worry, I'll leave you at home later.

I – It’s settled then. See you later.

Otabek - See you!

I don’t know why, but Otabek was making me curious as my day unfolded. I felt excited as I had not been for a long time. Who knows today will be better than yesterday?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm trying to make a story that reflects real feelings, things that we all go through. Please bear with me, I am still learning, both as a writer and as a person.  
> About the story: Yurio is my baby, but I can not protect him. Life protects no one. I hope you feel good reading the story. 
> 
> Luv Y'all <3


	4. The Coffee

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, guys! I'm sorry for being late with this chapter. It was hard for me to find the time to translate it. College things...
> 
> Well, but here it is. At last, we have coffee. I hope you like it!  
> Once again, kudos, comments and subs are always welcome! <3
> 
> p.s: I also love Muse, so, be prepared for Muse in this chapter. Hahahaha!

Friday crawled like the sloth on the branches of a tree.

I spent the whole morning at home. Which did not mean that I didn’t have things to do, because the tests were approaching, and no grade was guaranteed only with the works I had done exhaustively. However, if there is something about me that is true is that there is a spirit of procrastination that can make me lose my whole day in my hobbies and daydreams. Today was one of the days in which he used to appear.  
I decided not to take off my night clothes, I stayed in bed and spent the rest of the morning and early afternoon watching anime and reading manga (you can say that is my guilty pleasure). My grandfather already knew how many of my Fridays worked, so he didn’t question me about having spent all day in my room.

Around 3 in the afternoon, I received a message from Otabek.

Otabek - Yuri, can we arrange to meet at 5:00 p.m. at the entrance to the Exact Sciences building?

I - I thought you were going to tell me where we're going ... I’m not in the College right now and I would find you already at the destination.

Otabek - Are you home?

I - Yes, I can get dressed and find you there. No problem.

Otabek: Right, then. I'll be waiting. See you.

I – See ya!

I started to feel anxious for our “not a date”. I showered and ensured that I would be handsome but discreet. I pinned my hair that was long enough in a bun, leaving a few loose threads. I got out of the bathroom and had to choose my clothes. I had sober options, which matched Yuri that I am now, but not with the recovering Yuri, so I had to try something that stood out discreetly.   
I found a piece I had not worn in a long time. A Torn black trouser, much like Otabek wore yesterday, though, the trouser bar had small inclusions of a thick tiger print fabric. I felt ridiculous using it again, but I had to try. To compensate, I wore one of the many black T-shirts I had. I put my buskin and applied my best perfume, having my doubts if I could be as fragrant as Otabek.

But anyway, it was not a date. It was an apology cafe. One time only. I left my room and ran into my grandfather in the living room.

\- Are you going out, Yuratchka?

\- I'm having coffee with a colleague from college.

\- Clearly, it's not Yuuri ...

\- What?

\- Nothing, son!  
He said with a faint smile on his face.

\- Anyway, I do not know what time I'm coming, you don’t have to wait awake.

\- I've never seen a cafe take so long to be drunk that I do not need to stay awake waiting for you ...

\- I mean ... We're going to have coffee, but we're going to talk about a lot of things too, so maybe I'm late.

\- I hope you have fun.

\- I don’t know if it's going to count as fun, but I expect it too, Grandpa.

\- Come and give me a hug, Yura!

I hugged him tightly and kissed his forehead.

\- I think your colleague will want to rethink the status of colleague ...

\- Huh ???

\- You're going to be late, skinny boy!

I left home in a hurry and took the bus. While in the bus, I became obsessed with the schedule, afraid to be late, because I hate this. However, I arrived 5 minutes before the deal. I went up the stairs to the entrance of the building and ran into Otabek waiting for me. I wondered if Otabek had attended another talk today. He was wearing a brown tweed suit, over a black T-shirt as well, and a pair of black fabric pants that fit his legs, not too tight, not too loose. I guess I've never seen such a handsome guy dressed like that.

\- Hi! Where are we going?

\- I'll keep it a secret until we get there.

He took off his sunglasses and looked at me asking:

\- Are you going to a party later?

\- As far as I know, I've just checked with you, Otabek. Why are you asking?

\- You're too tidy for a simple coffee.

\- What about you, Otabek? Did you take part in a lecture today?

He made a confused face and I promptly joked with him.

\- So if it wasn’t for some lecture, you look too tidy for a coffee…

\- Maybe a simple coffee can turn into a drink, and I like to feel prepared for either.  
He answered me seriously.

Wow. That was straightforward. Maybe his intentions are not as simple as I'd imagined. After all, he could have ignored me at the observatory. And who demands coffee as an apology? That doesn’t exist. Blood rushed to my cheeks as I realized that.

\- Let's go with the flow…

We walked silently to his car. Upon entering it, I was struck with a breath of his intoxicating scent. My senses begin to screw. It was strange going for a date with someone after so long, I didn’t know how to act right. I think Otabek realized I was a bit uncomfortable and decided to pull off a conversation to try to distract myself.

\- I hope you like sweets, Yuri.

\- I'm fanatic. Do not tempt me with candy, for I will be like John and Mary. I'll fall directly into the Witch's trap.

Otabek burst into laughter and I didn’t understand what was happening.

\- Maybe I should get a witch's nose because I'm taking you to my lair.

\- You don’t want to get me fat and then eat me, don’t you?  
I asked with a false seriousness.

We both burst into laughter like children. After this bizarre and funny moment, I felt lighter and more comfortable talking to him.

\- Tell me how did you end up in Astronomy, Otabek?"

\- Actually I'm a Physics graduate. But I always liked Celestial Body Physics, so I ended up working a little on it during college and decided to pursue a career, doing masters and now a doctorate.

\- How did you get to know Victor? He seems to be nice.

\- It's a pretty normal story, actually. During the master's degree I spent a few months in Russia, in his laboratory, on the advice of my counselor from here. When my period ended there, Victor decided that he wanted to take a little walk and returned with me. In short, he fell in love with our country and decided to stay. So, he was contracted for the University and I stayed as a student of him, because we already had a good connection working together.

I overheard Otabek explaining things about his work during the rest of the way. It was really fascinating. And he spoke with a passion that automatically seized me and made me pay attention to every word.

\- We're here, Yuri.

\- Wow! I haven’t realized.

He parked the car and we left. I heard waves and I was curious about where we were. We walked about 5 minutes on a climb and reached the high point of elevation. At the top of the raised rock was a cottage-like construction. It had a French-style glass door, and it wasn’t for nothing. It was a kind of French Cafe. And it was not only that, the view was facing the cliff between the rock and the sea. The sun was setting, and it was the most beautiful scene I had ever seen. I was grateful for choosing not to go to the College Cafe.

\- Go ahead, Yuri.

\- I don’t trust witches. Who guarantees that there will not be a cauldron in there?

\- You'll find out if you try.

We entered the place. It had a wonderful smell of coffee and brownie that left me with mouthwatering. We sat on a small table for two, facing each other.

\- What's going to be Otabek? You do the honors of your purple stain. Choose what you want to eat.

\- Why can’t I pay for myself?

\- I do not know who you're used to, but I'm not like that. Without riches policy, I pay mine and you pay for yours. Except today. I owe you today.

\- I covered you too much, did not I?

"A deal between two men is a deal to be honored. If I said I was going to buy you some coffee, that's what I'm going to do.

We ordered our coffees and sweets treats. I was admiring the view at sunset, but was interrupted from my reverie by Otabek.

\- What about you, Yuri? I kept talking about myself, but until now I just know that your name is Yuri, you’re in Literature, and that guy was super asshole with you.

\- There are indeed many things about me. Not all of them are worth knowing. Well, you know the basics of the last 2 years.

\- Tell me more.  
He said looking interested.

\- I'm from Russia, just like your teacher. I was adopted very early by my grandfather, who is also Russian. He told me that we came here soon after adoption, that’s why I don’t have an accent.

\- So that explains.

\- Explain what?

\- Your peculiar beauty.

Will I blush every time he compliments me?

\- Going on, I think you remember my friend...

\- You mean Victor's boyfriend?

\- How do you know?

\- Victor and I aren’t just student and teacher, we're friends too.

\- I understand. Well, he's my best and only friend. We are very connected. We met when we went to register, in the same place that we came across for the first time, Otabek.

\- By that you mean when into you almost left me without one eye? Hahahahaha!

\- You're drinking your excuses right now. Once finished, there will be no debts between us.

He smiled at me softly, but with a look that seemed a little sad. Did I say something I shouldn’t?

\- Missed the last part, Yuri. Do you know that stupid guy who was in the lecture?

\- Unfortunately, I know.

\- Looks like you have a long story behind it.

\- Yes, I do. But it is not a story to be told now. This is not the right time and I'm having a lot of fun right now.  
I said smiling, trying to cheer ourselves up a bit.

\- I'm glad you're enjoying it, Yuri. I was afraid that you would find it a little too much to bring you here. But it's my favorite place in town and I only came with Victor here once. I thought it was time to make another friend.

\- And I looked like the perfect guinea pig for the friendship test?

\- Did it work?

\- I'm still deciding ...

I was admiring the view a bit, though it was less interesting than looking at the Otabek. So, he wanted my friendship? Or maybe it's a game? If so, two can play, for sure. He's interesting and beautiful, but I need more than that to fall in love with someone. I have already learned what happens when you open yourself to a person you do not know well. I wouldn’t throw myself headlong into any other sudden feeling.

The Sun was already gone, but we didn’t want to leave. We kept talking until 8 that night and the person in charge of the Café almost had to expel us. Make it clear that I paid for everything.

\- Come on, Yuri?

"Come on, I don’t owe you any longer."  
I said laughing.

\- Hmm. Stretch your leg in front of me.

\- What?

\- Just do what I'm asking ...

I stretched my leg and Otabek walked over to her and pretended to stumble into a deplorable scenario.

\- Ok! Now you owe me a drink.

\- If you want to take me out, at least you could try not to blame me.

\- Let's go. I still want to take you somewhere.

We went down the road and got into the car. There was a different atmosphere between us. I think because of our more pronounced flirtations.

\- You can choose a song, Yuri.

\- Now this will get interesting .... Let's know what the astrophysicist likes to hear.

I gave the play and a song started playing.

“I know you've suffered  
But I do not want you to hide  
It's cold and loveless  
I will not let you be denied ... "

I loved Muse. It was one of my favorite bands when I used to listen to music 24 hours a day. I got excited about the sound. It was good to hear it again, so I could not resist and started to sing softly.

“I want to reconcile the violence in your heart  
I want to recognize your beauty, it's not just a mask  
I want to exorcise the demons from your past  
I want to satisfy the undisclosed desires in your heart ... "

When the music ended, I realized that Otabek was staring at me.

\- What happened?

\- That was at least interesting...

He started the car and we were on our way to the next destination. During the trip I heard many songs that I recognized and others that I didn’t. He had a musical taste like mine. Although I was an outdated 2 years of the music world. It took us little time to get to what I realized was a nightclub.

\- Well, I did not expect that, I have to admit.

\- What? Just because I'm an astrophysicist? I can dance, you know… Who is being prejudiced now, Mr. Plisetsky?

\- Sorry, it was not the intention ...

\- Relax! If I were you, I wouldn’t believe that a guy like me knows how to dance.

Otabek left the suit inside the car and parked it in a place with attendants. He said he'd pick up tomorrow, since he'd drink today.

We entered the place that looked very small. All the lack of space was compensated by the environment that looked like a house, but it was dark, contrasting with the colored lights and lasers. We went straight to the bar. I ordered a White Russian, Otabek ordered a Pina Colada. We drank silently in front of the mirror near the bar. We eventually faced each other through the mirror, which made me start to get nervous.  
I hadn’t been in that kind of situation for a long time. How would I react? I don’t know how to dance anymore. My head was spinning and turning, and I was beginning to feel agonized. Not now... Please, not now...

\- Don’t make that face, Yuri! Let's get another dose and play us on the dance floor!  
Otabek said, distracting me from my crazy thoughts.

 

We drank one more drink, each other, and left for the dance floor. More Muse started playing and I was more relaxed because of alcohol. I heard the familiar melody and began to move. Otabek was not lying, he could dance.

“I think I'm drowning  
Asphyxiated  
I wanna break this spell  
That you've created ... "

He moved in a restrained but very sensual way. Stirring his body with a feline softness.

"You're something beautiful  
The contradiction  
I wanna play the game  
I want the friction ... "

I don’t know if is the alcohol, but the warning signs of my body are turning off. I got closer to him to dance together. Our lower parts collided like a magnetic attraction, moving us to the rhythm of the music. He was behind me, moving carefully so as not to appear intrusive with my body. We were sweaty, which only increased the perception of the smell of his perfume. I was completely crazy about it.

“You will be  
The death of me  
Yeah, you will be  
The death of me ... "

I was so into him at that moment. I cannot even believe I was in that situation with Otabek, but I had taken that step and wouldn’t go back. I wanted him to kiss me, and we were very close. I turned around, hoping he'd finally do what I expected. To my surprise, he didn’t take the initiative. He seemed hesitant about kissing me.

\- What's the matter, Otabek? Did the witch feel sorry for the children?  
I spoke in his ear, surprised by my courage.

\- Sorry, Yuri. It's just that I've never kissed a guy.

I was momentarily unresponsive to his response. I had two options: either I would leave things as they were now, or take the initiative and kiss. I let my instincts guide me and I told him:

\- Then let me teach you how.

I took the brunette in my arms and touched our lips in an imposing way. Feeling his positive reaction, we allow ourselves to find our tongues in movements not much rehearsed. The adaptation was swift. His body, which had been caught up in surprise before, gave way to my movements beside him. His mouth was addictive and tasted like a pineapple from the drink. He drove me crazy when he touched my hair by undoing my coke and releasing it with light tugs. I tightened my arms around his waist and put my hands under his blouse to explore his firm, muscular back. My head wasn’t working anymore. I was stuck in that myriad of new sensations and for sure, I wouldn’t be able to get rid of it soon enough. In a flash of conscience, I cease our kiss.

\- Sorry, Otabek. I don’t...

\- Yuri?

I ran away scared of what I was feeling. The nightclub was full and very tight, so Otabek could not reach me easily. I passed the exit and went to the outer side of the nightclub. I didn’t want to be found. I called a taxi and went home.

"What is wrong with me?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, again! What did you think of this chapter? I would love to know. 
> 
> I just wanna thank you, guys for reading this. It is all for you! <3
> 
> See ya!


	5. Who are you?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!!! I'm sorry I haven't post yesterday. This chapter was really difficult to translate, and I had to do some adaptations. 
> 
> But there it is! I hope you guys like it!
> 
> As you already know, kudos, comments, subs and bookmarks are always welcome! <3

OTABEK POV

What the fuck just happened?

I was at the door of the club still dizzy with the intensity of our kiss. The best of my whole life. I was hesitant about kissing him because I'd never been through that experience with a man, but he still broke my resistances and took the initiative. Which only made me more confused by his decision to leave without even saying goodbye. After this bizarre event, I decided to leave as well.

When I got home, my cat came to greet me promptly. LO was my company in the lonely moments and the only one that could manage to cope with me.

\- LOLO! Did you miss me? I know not! You only like me because I give you food...

I caressed her, held her, and sat her on the couch with me. The couch was my place of peace in the apartment, where I could sit and reflect on all things, and usually in those moments she was my company.

Although I had been away from home all day, I didn’t feel tired. I still felt the effects of the dance. I remembered my movements and how Yuri collided his body against mine, releasing more energy than the explosion of a supernova. I've never felt so attracted to anyone as at that moment. When he kissed me, I felt the taste of his White Russian. A light coffee flavor that matched perfectly with that moment. His hair was so soft that I had to take them in my hands. The texture resembled a silk fabric. I went crazy and lost track of everything. Maybe then I ruined everything. I don’t know what happened to him, to have seemed so confused and even frightened, if he was the who took the initiative.

Interrupted by LO, who was constantly yowling for her food, I got up and went to feed her. I needed a shower. Not only to feel clean, but also to get rid of Yuri's scent. Not that it was a bad smell, on the contrary. It was a woody fragrance with some roses content. It suited him perfectly. Masculine and feminine in perfect proportion. But it was too intoxicating. I wouldn’t resist thinking of him.  
I went into the bathroom and plugged my Ipod into the bathroom speaker. The craze of listening to music in the bathroom had come since childhood. I opened the cold water, took off my clothes smelling of Yuri and went under the shower. My Ipod looped the songs back exactly where it started. Undisclosed Desires was playing again, and though I had rid myself of the clothes with his scent, now it was his voice that pursued my thoughts. I was fascinated when he began to sing.

I had to admit. Maybe it was just attraction, maybe I was starting to feel something for him, especially after today, but there was something that connected me with him. My body reacted to the realization. I realized that I was excited remembering things that were not even sexual.

"So, this is Yuri's power over me?" Captivates me and then leaves me?

I gave in to that.  
I touched myself, so I could get some relief and pleasure. They were rhythmic movements to the sound of the music coming out of the speakers, but I pretended they were from Yuri's lips, as if he were right there, singing to me. Feeling hard as never felt before, I continued the movement. I remembered Yuri in the club and the way he danced with me. I squeezed my glans and moaned.

\- Yuri...

A heat rose in my body, even under the icy water, every care not to think of him went wasted. I felt guilty, but guilt evaporated the moment I imagined the tow of us together. We were a perfect picture in my head. Our bodies increased the friction and the heat with kisses that didn’t even make sense, but they were so perfect in every way. I could not stand it any longer, my mind went blank for a moment, and I came for someone who wasn’t even with me.  
I was definitely doomed. I left the bathroom feeling that there was no more dignity in me.

I went to the bedroom and lay down. I couldn’t nail my eyes, remembering the spectacular day I had, not just the last part. I remembered every smile, every conversation, everything. I wanted more of that. I didn’t know the name of that feeling, but I wanted more of those warm moments, and I just wanted if it was with him.

Everything was so confusing in my head. Yuri let me out of the way and my lack of control in the bathroom only made that fact even more clear. Unforeseeable, maybe it was the word that would best define what I think about him. In a moment he goes from totally vulnerable and shy to a person who has full control of the situation and who knows what he is doing. I needed to know more. There's something about that guy at the Observatory that sure makes him out of control. I don’t know what it was, but definitely the way he treated the blonde made me want to punch him. However, Yuri made it clear, even indirectly, that we didn’t have the intimacy yet to talk about it. Of course, we only went out once. We were still getting to know each other, and I didn’t even know if he would date me again.

I still wonder if this was all in my head. My nervousness to see him, the sense of well-being I had when I was by his side. It wasn’t like I was in love so suddenly, it never happened to the women I dated before, so it was definitely all new to me. Maybe it was just some kind of hypnosis, which in fact could be true, since I couldn’t stop looking at him. I couldn’t stop thinking about him. Those eyes were chasing me every moment after our first date.

I didn’t want Yuri to think I was boring, but I needed to make it clear to him that I wasn’t upset about what happened at the club. I understood perfectly that he was confused, although his attitude showed more than just confusion. I grabbed my cell phone and started typing:

I - Yuri, I do not know what happened, but whatever it is, it’s okay.

I - I'm sorry if I push you too much today, didn’t mean to intrude.

I - I hope you're okay.

I saw that there was a message from Victor.

Victor - Otabek, maybe I fucked up.

It probably had to do with the calculations we left on the computers, but my mind was too full to answer at the time.  
I hoped Yuri would respond while I was still awake, but deep down, something told me he needed time to digest things. Actually, I did too. Without a sign that he had answered me, I decided to try to sleep anyway. Tomorrow would be Saturday and I could get up at any time. I got some sleep, but I woke up at 2:20 in the morning. I got my cell phone and there were messages and calls from Yuri. My heart raced a little and I was afraid to read. What if he didn’t want to see me anymore? What if it really was me? I needed to read, but the fear of being rejected somewhat prevented me. I was a coward and I hung up my cell phone. I wore only a black sweatshirt and went into the kitchen.

In the fridge I had bottled water and several fruits and vegetables. On the counter, a bottle of Whiskey. I thought about my options and none of them looked like what I wanted to eat or drink. Giving up on anything I lay on the big couch next to LO who was sleeping peacefully. Some time later, I woke up with LO giving my little kicks on my face and the telephone of the concierge ringing.

\- Who's making a prank late night?

I thought of a moment not to answer because it wasn’t anyone in my family. The only one that had my address was Victor. An emergency? I decided to answer anyway.

\- Otabek?

\- Who is it?

\- It's me, Yuri.

 

YURI POV

I didn’t know if he wanted to see me, but I needed it, for my own sake. Although he had said that it was okay for me to run away like that, it was a problem for me not to be able to even kiss someone without feeling rotten inside. Those images coming back made me want to give up the elevator. But he had let me into his house. I couldn’t give up now.

I reached his floor and rang the doorbell. I was nervous, but I had to face it. He opened the door and I had the most divine of visions: a shirtless Otabek and black sweatpants. His body was lean and muscular as the curves of his clothes hinted.

\- O-Otabek, I...

\- Come in, Yuri. Calm down. Make yourself comfortable first.

I followed his advice and entered the spacious apartment. Everything was very sober and clean, which made me more relaxed with the environment.

\- Sit down, Yuri. Do you want something to drink?

I looked at the countertop of his open concept kitchen from where he spoke.

\- Fill a cup of what you're going to drink.

\- Are you going to drink Whiskey?

\- Maybe I need it ...

\- Right. Ice?

\- Please.

He came up to me with a glass for him and one for me. He sat beside me on the couch, leaving a space between us. I liked that in Otabek. He always tried to respect my space.

\- Otabek, I came to apologize for yesterday. I ran away like crazy and didn’t even give you an explanation.

\- I said no problem, and I didn’t mean to disrespect you. Seriously, I don’t judge you for doing this. I know there's something bothering you, but I will not ask, until you feel ready to talk about it.  
I nodded, feeling calmer. He was a very understanding person.

I was drinking the whiskey in big sips.

\- I think the only thing I'm really curious about now is where did you get my address.  
He said with a serious face.

Did he feel offended that I came here?

\- I wanted to talk to you a lot, but you didn’t answer my messages and your cell phone was off when I called. I know it's crazy and that no one in their right mind does this, but I needed to settle it personally. So, I asked Yuuri to ask for your address to his boyfriend, and although the teacher resisted a little, Pig got it and that's how I ended up here.

\- Pig?

\- I call Yuuri that way, because it's a reference to his favorite dish, Katsudon, which carries pork.  
Otabek laughed at that.

\- So, Yuri. Did you come all this way to apologize to me even though I said everything was okay?

\- I know it's going to be hard for you to understand, but I needed it. I didn’t want to get misunderstood among us, I was taught that these things can only be solved in person.

\- Did you tell someone that you were leaving in the middle of night?

\- I live with my grandfather. I left a message for him. I think he'll understand why.

\- He must be very understanding, then.

\- My grandfather knows me like no one else. He knows I'm not exactly an easy person. But he respects me and loves me in a way that I myself cannot quite understand.

\- You two seem to get along...

\- Indeed. What about you, Otabek? I didn’t hear you talking about your family.

\- My family are the stars, Yuri.  
He said. And it was not in a joking tone.

\- You do not get along with them or...

\- My parents and my sister died in a plane crash.  
He spoke hurriedly, as if he wanted to avoid talking about it.

\- I'm sorry, Otabek. I didn’t know...

\- It's all right. It was a long time ago.

He got up and said excitedly, trying to change the air a bit:

\- I'll get some more whiskey.

\- Fill my glass, please.

We drank the whole bottle while we talked about shallow things. Alcohol was already playing its role as a social lubricant.

\- The first time I saw your friend with Victor was really embarrassing.

\- Tell me!

\- I had to give Victor an article beforehand. He yelled at me on the phone, like the good Russian he is. He said that I was late on time and that if I didn’t show up at 8 in the morning in his working room, I would be disinherited!

Who could have imagined that the guy who looked the most out of a shampoo commercial would be so angry?

\- Well, I know Vic. He wears that evil cloak, but he's a very sentimental and melodramatic guy.

\- So, it's explained why he's dating Yuuri...

\- Well, going on. I did what I could to finish the preview and deliver. When I arrived at the University it was around 7 in the morning, I sat in front of his room so I could wait for him.

I paid close attention, eager to know my friend's rottenness.

\- I heard, noises coming from Victor's room. For a moment I thought he was a thief, so in the adrenaline of the moment, I used the key Victor had left with me in case of emergency and opened the door.  
He paused dramatically.

\- It was my worst mistake.

\- Spit it out, Otabek!

 

\- Victor was almost naked on top of his friend on the couch. I don’t know who seduced whom, but it was very clear that they were within 30 seconds of having sex in that room.

I burst into laughter that would not stop soon enough.

\- I just managed to apologize and leave the room running!

I couldn’t even breathe from laughing.

\- I just texted Victor saying that when he was finished he could call me.

\- Otabek, this is the most hilarious story I've ever heard!

I think I understood why Yuuri never told me that! I was going to make fun of him until he died.

\- Since then I've never been able to walk into Vic's office without him opening the door for me.

\- At least you're friends. Imagine if they are caught by other people? It was going to be a scandal!

\- Well, they were locked, I just opened it because I thought something was wrong.

I looked at my cell phone and it was almost 5 in the morning.

\- Speaking of Yuuri, he's going to want to kill me.

\- Because?

\- We agreed to spend the day together today, but I'll be up late tonight and I'll want to make up for the daytime sleep.

\- What time did you set?

\- We do not agree on a schedule, but he's also a sleeper, so he should only appear in the afternoon.

\- Why don’t you take it and finish the last dose? You can sleep here until you feel apt to return.

\- I want to believe you're a man of integrity, Otabek. But it's getting more and more difficult with your proposals...

\- I try to be a man of integrity, Yuri. But you don’t make it easy showing up in my house at dawn in all your splendor, drinking with me until morning and... I have no more reason to blame you for my lack of integrity.

\- You're not even trying to make sense anymore, are you?

\- I'm drunk and I want to kiss you, I've stopped making sense a long time ago.

\- I'm drunk too, and you're super hot without a shirt ...

\- Do not tempt me, Yuri. You cannot start something that you won’t finish.

\- Who says I'm not going to finish? Don’t defy me, Otabek Altin.

He surprised me by taking in an unrestricted kiss. His arms pulled my body up to his. I could feel the full extent of his muscular torso in my own trunk. Heat radiated from his body to my skin through my T-shirt. Our kiss was no longer shy like in the nightclub. Thanks to the bottle of whiskey we ran out of, we were uninhibited and without much sense of responsibility for the moment afterwards. Feeling that my body was getting too hot, my kiss momentarily stopped, I took off my shirt and snapped my hip into his that rested on the soft sofa. I rubbed myself unabashedly on his intimate part and felt his bulk rising against mine, tearing from me a moan that was so loud that he might need to start worrying about his neighbors.

Otabek took his hands that were on my back to my waist, pulling me further down, seeking more friction between my jeans and his sweats as if that were somehow possible. And then it was his turn to throw his head back and delight in the feel of our intimacies together.  
When he opened his eyes, he said to me:

\- Yuri, I don’t want to have sex because we're drunk and horny. Please. I also don’t know anything about sex with men, I will end up doing something bad. I.... I don’t want you to run away from me.

His face was a mixture of pleasure with concern that made me go back to the axes.

\- All right, Otabek. You're right.  
I said, rising and getting off from him, putting my shirt back on.

\- Are you mad at me?

\- No! No way! It's just that I'm drunk and I let myself go. I don’t want things to be like that either.

\- Give me a chance to get to know you better, Yura?

\- How do you know this is my nickname?

\- I heard Yuuri calling you like that at the Observatory. If you prefer, I won’t call you that.

\- No problem.

\- So, I'll repeat: Give me the chance to meet you, Yura?

\- Otabek, maybe you don’t want to know more. You have an image of me that doesn’t necessarily correspond to reality.

\- Let me fix my question then: Will you let me know you better, or not?

I laughed at that, it seemed more like an ultimatum than a request.

\- Ok! But only if you breed some coffee for me later.

With my vision blurry of sleep, I lay there on the comfortable sofa. I was still in my pre-sleep state when I heard a whispered phrase:

\- I know you're not just a pretty face, there's a lot more I want to know ...

After that I was already unconscious.

I woke up with light kicks on my face and a very strong coffee smell. I opened my eyes and saw a white cat staring at me and clapping its paws on my cheek. I felt as if my head had the weight of the universe and I remembered that I wasn’t home. I got up and saw Otabek in the kitchen eating a toast and drinking his coffee.

\- Good morning, Yura! I did my part in the bargain. The coffee is ready.

\- Who is this?

\- LOLO? Did she wake you up? No wonder, you slept in the space that is hers.

\- LOLO? Who gives the name of a chocolate to a cat?

\- It has nothing to do with chocolate. LO is the name of one of the moons of Jupiter.

\- Is it LO? Or LOLO?

\- It's LO, but I call it LOLO, too.

\- I'm sorry, I just woke up and I get a little moody. Out that my head looks like it's going to explode...

\- I'll get you some medicine, make yourself comfortable, and serve yourself.

I went up the steps to the kitchen and saw what was behind the counter. Toast, fruit, jams, milk, butter, biscuits and more things that were definitely too much food for two people.

In the middle was an empty cup in a saucer with a small spoon to mix. All carefully placed.

\- Hey, Yura. Do you have allergies to any medicine or can you take anything?

\- I have no allergies, give me the strongest.

\- Right. But first you have to eat. Hasn’t your grandfather ever taught you that you cannot take medicine on an empty stomach?

\- I very much doubt he knows that.

We sat down and had a delicious breakfast. I realized how kind he had been to me since we met. Even in small things he was considerate. Respecting my time, not forcing too much even when I created conditions for it. Otabek was very different from JJ. I wasn’t used to being treated so well, which made me smile with joy.

\- I'm glad you're smiling, Yura.

\- Thank you for the coffee. For listening to me. For kissing me and for stopping kissing me.

-You're always welcome in my house. Be it daylight or dawn. Let things go naturally. Don’t feel forced to anything, Yuri. If at any point you think I'm acting inappropriately, tell me. I just don’t want to lose whatever that is or will be.

\- Right. Let's let life take us.

We finished our coffee and Otabek took me home in his "emergency car". Not that I understand anything about the lives of wealthy people, but it was certainly convenient to have a spare car when yours was parked elsewhere.

It was a silent journey. He lived in the coastal area, facing the beach and the view was truly breathtaking. The path led to the suburban area of the city, which wasn’t quite that beautiful. 20 minutes later we arrived in front of my house. It was around 11 in the morning.

\- Thank you again, Otabek.

\- Whenever you want, you can send me a message. I'll be waiting for you to let me know about our next meeting.

\- Right.

Otabek kissed my forehead, surprising me.

\- See you, Yura.

I got out of the car still surprised by the gesture of affection from a guy I was still beginning to know. I felt my heart warm up a little with that. I walked towards the house and saw my grandfather sitting in his rocking chair, sipping tea.

\- Good morning, Yuratchka! Let's talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think of this chapter, huh???
> 
> There is some spicy Otayuri in this and there's more to come. Once again, thank you for reading this! You make me really happy! 
> 
> See ya!


	6. Risks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again, guys! Another long time to translate. I'm sorry! But I hope you like this chapter!
> 
> Again, kudos, comments, subs and bookmarks are always welcome.

I didn’t expect to meet my grandfather at the door. But I would have to explain a number of things to him.

\- Let’s go in. So, I can explain all this.

\- I really hope you can explain.  
He said it in a very serious tone.

We walked into the house and sat in the kitchen, which was kind of our meeting room.

\- Before you start talking, I'll make one thing clear. I love you, Yuri. I would do anything for you and I don’t want you to get hurt again. If I want to talk to you, it's because I want to understand what's happening to you.  
I nodded, and he continued.

\- One day you arrive devastated because you saw Leroy, the other day, you say that you are going out with a friend and that I don’t have to wait for you awake. The same day you arrive early from your date, visibly upset, then leave in the middle of the night, leaving me a note saying that you went to your friend’s house, whom I have never seen in my life, and telling me that everything is ok and that you should arrive in the morning. Then, I see you coming back home with this guy who looks incredibly like Jean. I don’t know what to think about all this.

Ok, I was kind of irresponsible, no wonder he’s so worried.

\- Let me start at the beginning. I met Otabek in an accident at the Cafe, that day I saw JJ. I nudged him unintentionally. He said he wanted me to pay him some coffee. I didn’t pay much attention. Then we met again at the Observatory, and to summarize, he reaffirmed that he wanted to go out with me for a coffee. The rest is what you already know.

\- No, I don’t know, Yuri. Why did you come back so early from the meeting and why was you with that face I know very well?

\- After our coffee we went to a nightclub. We danced and ended up kissing. I kind of freaked out for the reasons you already know, so I ran out of there without giving an explanation to him.

\- And you thought the best option was to to leave at night to solve this, leaving me a poorly explained note? I was really worried.

\- I apologize for that, Grandpa. But I couldn’t leave things the way they were. I think you understand why.

\- I understand, Yura. And although I think you could at least get me a little more detailed note on your disappearance, I'm glad you took the initiative to resolve the issue. That's how I taught you.

I was very pleased that my grandfather understood my reasons for coming to see Otabek in the middle of the night.

\- He looks like a good guy. I hope you're being cautious.

\- It's not like this. We... We're getting to know each other, and he's never had anything with men.

\- So, you were really on professional spirit?

\- Hahahahahaha! All professional, that’s for sure, Grandpa. Wer're going out more often and see how it unfolds.  
My grandfather smiled at me.

\- And by the way, Mr. Nikolai, how can you say he looks like a good boy? You haven’t even exchanged a word!

\- From where I came, kissing someone on the forehead is a gesture of affection and protection. And he seemed to look at you almost adoringly.

\- You exaggerate in the conclusions, old man.

\- All right, all right! Now you're going to clean your room. Yuuri already called 2 times to see if you had already arrived.

\- Damn it! Forgot to charge the cell phone! I'll call him.

I went to the bedroom, put my cell phone to charge and called Yuuri.

\- Hey, Pig! Come on, I just arrived.

\- Yuri, you are the worst friend on Earth! You went to Otabek’s house, didn’t tell me at all!

\- Not now, Katsudon. When you get here I'll explain everything.

\- I meet you in 10 minutes.

After I hung up, I picked up half of the things on the floor. I still had a few minutes, so I went to take a quick shower. When I got out of the shower, I found a Yuuri with the face of "tell me everything" sitting on my bed.

\- Okay, okay. I'm going to explain to you.

It was almost 30 minutes until I could explain everything.

\- Wow! Then things were intense...

\- They were intense, but intensity doesn’t mean depth. You know what happened last time. I threw myself into a shit bigger than I could handle.

\- You're right, Yura. You must protect yourself. JJ also looked super cool, but in the end, he's a crazy sadist.

\- That's what I'm talking about.

\- But at the same time, you can’t ignore your life." You must live. Protecting yourself, but also taking risks.

\- Apparently you understand everything about taking risks, don’t you?

\- What are you talking about?

\- I'm talking about what I had to hear from someone else's mouth. You and Victor making up in his room early in the morning. How could you not tell me such a thing?

\- It's just that I... Ah... How am I supposed to tell such a thing to anyone?

\- I'm not anyone. I'm your best friend.

\- It's too shameful, Yurio!

\- Okay. But now tell me, have you had sex?

\- Ahhhhh! How shameful!

\- Tell me, damn it!

\- Yes!

\- Fuck, Yuuri! How could you not tell me this before?

\- Are you going to judge me, Yura?

\- I won’t judge you, I don’t mind the “Third Date Rule”, so I could never judge you for it.

\- Yuri, do you know how long I have not heard you cursing?

\- It was inadvertently...

\- I missed it. I mean, it's weird, but the Yura I met had a very dirty mouth.

\- That was nothing. I'll try to control myself from now on.

\- No! I don’t care!

\- But I do, Pig. Let's leave things as they are.

My grandfather knocked on the door announcing lunch.

\- Come on, Piggy. It's not Katsudon but you can fake it.

\- You know I love your grandfather's food. This is unfair.

We went to the kitchen and ate together, Yuuri, my grandfather and me. After, we were playing Naruto on my PS4 (we were two irreparable otakus). The time passed very quickly, but I wanted to enjoy as much as possible with my friend.

\- Tell me, Yuuri. What's he like?

\- Who?

\- Victor, of course.

\- Ah... He is easy to describe. He looks very angry, but he's as sentimental as I am. He is affectionate, takes care of me even when I don’t need it. I want to be with him all the time, I want to understand him, I want to touch him. I want everything.

\- Wow! I think you’re in love, aren’t you?

\- Yeah!

\- What about you, Yuri? How do you feel about Otabek?

\- I'm not sure, Pig. I mean... There's something between us. He's fun, smart and to complete the most gorgeous guy I've ever seen in my life.

\- But?

\- But you know I'm afraid. As much as he has shown me that he likes me and respects my space, you cannot trust 100% in someone I just met.

\- Not everyone is the same as JJ, not everyone will screw you like he did. And even though he looked cool, he was always getting you out of our company, which annoyed me sometimes, but I just wanted you to be happy, so I never said anything.

\- I can’t lie. This was also my fault. I was so desperate to have his love, that I was following him like a puppy. I was a bad friend, a bad grandson and a bad person.

\- That isn’t true, Yura. You were naive, and you were in love. It's normal for people not to realize they're doing shit until something happens to get them out of stupor. No way you deserved what he did to you. He is pure evil and makes others suffer for fun. Do not ever think this was your fault.

When I heard those words from my best friend, I could only thank for having him by my side.

\- It's getting late, Yura. And today we’ll have my mother's super special Katsudon.

\- Ok, Piggy. Take care.

He hugged me tightly and left.  
I stayed in my room until about 8 pm. I thought about ordering hamburgers for dinner, but I had a different idea. I took the cell phone and dialed:

\- Hello? Otabek?

\- Yura?

\- You are busy today?

\- I have some work to do, maybe I’ll finish in 2 hours.

\- Have you had dinner yet?

\- Not yet. I was thinking about ordering something online.

\- And would you mind if I help you with that?

\- What do you mean, Yura?

\- I'll cook something for us while you finish your things. Then we can talk...

\- Am I getting an invitation to dinner?

\- You said you wanted to know each other...

\- I'm not complaining! You know you're more than welcome at any time.

\- Right then. I'll be there in 30 minutes.

\- I’ll wait for you.

\- See you!

As soon as we finished the call, I ran to the bathroom. I was very excited, even though I was feeling a bit nervous. I showered, rubbing everything so hard that my skin turned red. I shaved myself and used all bath oil to leave my skin soft and smelling naturally. If I had ulterior motives? Yes. After that kiss on the couch I wanted more. It's true that I still needed to know a lot more about Otabek, but what I knew was too thought-provoking. His personality, his body lines... Yuuri was right. I needed to give myself another chance to have someone by my side.

I dried my hair and felt confident enough to use some makeup again. I brightened the corners of my eyes a little and used my mascara that was almost hard due to its lack of use. I completed my makeup with a little lip moisturizer, which left my lips alive and pink in a natural way. I looked in the mirror and liked the result. I was feeling alive. Beautiful in a natural way. I put on a black shirt and my red pants (dug up from the depths of my wardrobe). I was ready.  
I left the room and went to my grandfather.

\- Do we have food in the refrigerator?

\- There was soup left over from the other day.

\- Then it's all right. You must make sure you're having dinner, old man.

\- Hm ... Should I wait for you awake?

\- Definitely not.

\- OK then. Take care and have fun, son!

\- And go to bed early and don’t forget your pills.

When I was near the door, my grandfather told me:

\- You look very handsome, Yura! I missed that.

\- Thank you, Grandpa!

The taxi was already waiting for me. I stopped at the market nearest to Otabek’s apartment and bought the ingredients for our dinner. I would run out of money for the rest of the month, but it was for a good cause. I bought ricotta ravioli pasta and rosé wine, hoping he would enjoy these things.  
I reached the porch of his building and rang the intercom of his apartment.

\- It’s me, Yuri.

\- OK.

I heard the intercom turned off, but the gate hasn’t open. Is he going to leave me here? I waited for a minute and saw him coming out of the building. Will I ever not be surprised by his beauty? Coming towards me in a baggy coat and skinny pants that looked so comfortable and inviting...

\- You could have just opened the gate.

\- I came to get you in person.

\- No need to, Otabek. I don’t mind these things.

\- But I do...

He pushed me onto the wall of the concierge, kissing me impulsively. At first only with the lips, but then I felt his tongue invade my mouth with a refreshing taste of mint. Otabek pressed his body to mine, sounding the alarms of all my nerves.  
I was crazy inside with all those sensations. I threw the groceries I carried on the floor so I could took my hands to hir thick, silky hair. I burned with desire, and sure enough he was also at his limit. Our kiss was wet, and every movement of our tongues snapped in our lower parts.

Otabek stopped our kiss, making me want to skip dinner and head straight for dessert.

\- Yura... Let's go to dinner.

\- If that is your wish, Mr. Altin...

\- I have candy up there. But we can only eat dessert after dinner...

\- Well, I don’t think you can get rid of being a physicist who follows the rules of nature, don’t you?

\- And you came to do what? Bring chaos to my order?

We started laughing, took the groceries and got into the elevator. We went in silence. I hadn’t noticed that this was the only apartment on the floor. Apartments like this were particularly expensive for their exclusivity and privacy. That is, he really ought to have rich parents, because it is not normal for a guy so young to have a heritage of that caliber.

He opened the door and told me to come in first.

\- Come on, Yuri. Get in!

I walked in feeling a little sheepish. I took off the sneakers I wore and went into the kitchen with Otabek.

\- The kitchen is yours! Feel free to use whatever you need.

He looked in his shopping bags and saw the wine. 

\- Wine? Are we getting drunk today?

\- What? You know that a good pasta is accompanied by good wine...

\- As long as we do not end up drunk...

\- Trust me, Beka.

\- W-What did you call me?"  
He asked me almost choking.

\- I thought of that nickname now, since you call me by mine.

Otabek looked very strange. Like he’s going to start crying at any moment. His eyes were dizzy.

\- Give me a minute, Yuri.

He left the kitchen and walked down the hallway to the inner rooms. After, I heard a door being closed.  
I was really scared. Didn’t he like the silly nickname I gave him? I mean, it doesn’t make sense for someone to be so upset about it. I really wanted to respect his space, but perhaps he needed some support. I walked down the corridor and heard sobs coming from inside one of the rooms. I knocked on the door.

\- Otabek?

I heard no reply, but the sound of someone crying trying to hide the sounds.

\- Otabek? Can I help you with something?

Still no answer, I decided to go inside, and I came across Otabek shrunk in his bed shedding his copious tears on the pillow.

\- I'm sorry, Yura.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes! Yurio is finally open to take the risks of trying something new with Otabek. I love this.  
> Poor Otabek also has his problems, but I think they can help each other...
> 
> Thank you so much for reading!!!
> 
> See you next chapter, guys!


	7. What I want

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! I finally finished this! It was the most difficult chapter to translate. You'll know soon enough why. Hahaha!
> 
> WELL, I HOPE YOU'LL LIKE IT! I did everything with my heart. <3
> 
> As you already know, kudos, comments, subs and bookmarks are always welcome!

\- What's the matter, Otabek?  
I hurried to sit beside him on the bed.

\- I'm scaring you, aren’t I? I'm sorry, it wasn’t my intention.

\- You can rely on me, Otabek. I'll stay here with you, and I’ll leave if you tell me to go.  
I said, caressing his hair, and trying to comfort him.

After a few minutes, Beka seemed to be contained in his emotions.

\- Yura ...

\- You can talk to me, Otabek.

\- My sister called me Beka.  
I remembered his words about his family and the plane crash.

\- I'm terribly sorry. I had no idea. Otherwise, I would never have called you that.

\- She gave me the nickname Beka when she was still learning how to speak, since she couldn’t pronounce my name. Irlla gave her first teddy bear my nickname, saying that the bear was as cute as me.  
I watched his eyes watering again, but his face was happy. I imagined that these memories were very precious to him.

\- Otabek. You can stay here as long as you want.

I hugged him the same way he did when JJ confronted me. Now I understood what he was thinking when he did it for me. I didn’t think he was weak either. I just wanted to ease his pain a little with the kindness I could offer. We lay on the bed, facing each other, staring at us for seconds that seemed to be eternal and so fast at the same time. I touched his face and caressing his cheeks.

\- Yura, it's all right if it's you.

\- What?

\- You can call me Beka.

My eyes sparkled in response to that statement. That was what I wanted from Otabek. More. I wanted access to him, just as I understood that he also wanted access to me.

\- Sorry, I blew the mood for dinner.

\- No, it’s alright. I want to know about you, Beka. If we're going to invest in it, we need to get to know each other.  
He stood up and said,

\- Come on, Yura. We need to change the mood of our date. I still have things to finish, and as far as I know, you promised me a nice dinner.

I smiled at him and said:

\- You're the boss!

We went back to the living room / kitchen, and although his nose and eyes were still a little swollen, his countenance seemed much happier. He sat down at the dining table in front of the kitchen counter.

\- My job today is very mechanical, Yura. If you want to put something to play on television, feel free, as it will not disturb me. Today you own the house.

\- You have no idea who you're giving intimacy to, Otabek!

\- Do you think I'm going to regret it?

\- Certainly!

I grabbed my cell phone and looked for a playlist that matched our dinner. Something sexy and romantic, but that also put our spirits up. My plan was still standing. I wouldn’t give up. I found the Femme Fatale playlist on Spotify and put it to play on the TV. I started to prepare dinner, even though it was almost 11 p.m. I put the water to boil with thyme and salt. Afterwards, I put the dough and let it cook al dente. Between these steps, I looked at Otabek who was always looking at me. I took advantage of these little moments to engage in some dance steps, moving my hips. It was funny to see him losing his concentration when he saw me dancing.  
When finishing, I quickly made the white sauce, and add a little parmesan and coriander. My specialty.

\- Are you hungry, Beka?

\- I hope everything's ready, because the smell of this food is making me crazy.

I prepared the dishes and the glasses of wine and joined him at the dinner table.

\- Bon appetit!

\- Wait, Yura!

Otabek rose from the table and ran to the kitchen. When he came back, he brought in two beautiful candles adorned with red details. He turned off one of the lights and lit the candles, leaving the room in a pleasant twilight.

\- Are you an irreparable romantic, Beka?

\- Perhaps ... I haven’t tested the full potential of my romanticism yet.

\- We can sort this out...

He smiled at me so genuinely that I blushed at the same moment. We finished dinner and enjoyed the wine. We filled another glass after dinner and sat down on the couch. This time we were closer, a reflection of the fact that we felt more at ease with each other. I leaned my head on his chest and enjoyed some of that relaxing moment. I heard his heart pounding and that made surprised. Was he nervous because of me?  
I lifted my head and he drank the rest of the wine in his goblet.

Looking anxious, he kissed me. I felt his hands, somehow chilled and shaking while holding mine.  
I ceased our kiss and said:

\- Beka, you don’t have to feel obligated. I know you're inexperienced with men. And also, I am not the most versed person in these matters... I mean, my first time was terrible, and I didn’t relate to anyone else after.

\- Terrible?

\- If you want, I'll tell you. But I warn you that you may feel bad about the things I'm going to tell you. Besides, it’s not exactly easy for me to open up on this subject.

\- Don’t force yourself, Yura. This is just our second date. I know it's hard to talk about sensitive issues with strangers.

\- You're not a stranger, Beka. I need you to know about me, too. I know I look pretty cool on the outside, but there's a lot of shit about me.

\- I just want to know, if you want to tell me, there is no deadline. Tell me when you feel 100% prepared for it.

With that moment of mutual acceptance, I could no longer resist. I didn’t want to. I looked deep into his black eyes. Black as the night. I wanted him and nothing else could stop me.

I took off my shirt. Needed contact with his skin. My attitude made Otabek change his features. Before, he seemed worried about what we would do. But now there was no more hesitation. His lustful gaze made me crash to his mouth, enjoying its taste and that of the sweet wine.  
I sat on his lap and opened the zipper of his coat. I felt excited to think that I would have Otabek for me that night. I ran my hands down in his bare shoulders and felt the softness of his skin. Without ceasing our kiss, he held me in his lap and lifted us up, taking me to his room. When we arrived he put me very gently on the bed.

\- Beka? I know it's still early, but I need it.

\- You call the shots, Yura. I just wanna be yours.

I made him lie down on the bed, slowly pulled my pants off and made him appreciate my body with his eyes. I approached him and took off his pants, too. I noticed that his damp underwear already showed signs of his arousal for me. I was like that, too.  
I guided his hands to touch my body as I settled on his erection. I made his hands touch my hair, sliding down my face, caressing my cheek so gently with the tips of his fingers... Is this just desire? Or are there feelings in that gesture? I don’t know. My heart is so comfortable... I don’t even know if this is the right reaction.  
I took his index finger and traced it down my neck, down my chest, down to my nipples. I made him touch my nipples as if was the last thing of his life, making me sweat and shiver with pleasure. My body responded to any stimulus. I was so sensitive that one finger was enough to make me forget the world. Forget everything I've been through.

I took one of his fingers to my mouth. We did not break the eye contact and Otabek understood what I needed. I sucked vigorously, making my tongue dance around him and then pulled his finger out, making a wet sound that made Beka completely lose his self-control.

His strong hands reversed our positions, making me stand under him. Beka stuck his body on mine, rubbing our skin and kissing me. My free hands roamed his body until reach into his underwear and shoved my hands underneath, allowing me to grab his butt and squeeze him. His muscles were firm and his skin soft. It was the pressure of the bottom of the sea with the delicacy of the clouds.

\- Yura, I want you to feel good. Tell me what you want.

I made him sit on the bed, took off my underwear and said,

\- Strip.

He promptly understood and removed his underwear as well. Taking advantage of the moment, I passed my legs over his, approaching us. Our penises were big. I joined them in my hands and began to masturbate.

\- Y-Yura ... What is this?  
Otabek gasped.

\- I don’t know, Beka.

I had no idea if he was referring to the pleasure we were both experiencing, or whether he was talking about the sense of vulnerability between us.  
Beka took my place in the movements, and I felt my cock begin to drip. I was on my limit with just that. I opened my eyes and saw Otabek beautifully indulged in pleasure. He moaned languidly, putting an end to my self-control, causing me to pour my own pleasure into his hand.

\- Sorry ... I couldn’t stand it.

Blushing with embarrassment, I didn’t want to face him, but his clean hand pulled my face towards him, speaking very close to my mouth.

\- Yura, that was the most erotic moment of my life so far. Don’t be shy. Show me more...

If Otabek wanted more of me, then I would give him. I turned my back on him and went doggy-style. That's what I knew. The only thing I knew and I had learned from the worst possible person.

\- I want to look at you.

That hit me in the face. If he looks into my eyes now, I'd be naked. All my faults and insecurities exposed. I just can’t.

\- Fuck me like that, Beka.

I felt kisses coming up the back of my thigh, making my body tremble. The soft tissue of his tongue traveled previously unknown paths in me. But along with that, I felt a warm finger in my opening stimulating very lightly, lubricating myself with my own semen.

\- Beka...

Otabek nibbled on my ear and began to push his finger inside me. It was a strange sensation, but different from the first time.

\- Yura, if you don’t like something...

He reached my most sensitive spot and my legs sagged along with my head that was completely stunned.

\- Please, Beka!

I felt him insert a second finger, always massaging the spot that made my body explode. I didn’t know how much longer I could take, and Otabek didn’t make it any easier. He kissed my neck, sucking it ferociously, while stroking my hair so delicately. Although I had come so recently, my penis dripped again next to the rhythm dictated by Otabek's fingers inside me.

\- Yura, when you say you're ready...

\- I-I... Please...

I heard the sound of a pack being ripped and soon after, wet sounds. I could feel it as the tip of his cock pressed against my innermost part. It was cold because of the lubricant, I imagined. Anticipation was like standing on the edge of a cliff. The cold in my belly, the sweat on my body, and all the ideas about what would come after. The fear.

\- Yura, you're shaking... I promise I will not do anything you don’t want to.

\- Beka, forgive me. I'm so fucked up.  
I said muffling my voice on the pillow

\- No, Yuri. I don’t know what happened, but I will respect your time.  
He answered me in my ear.

But I wanted. I wanted to take that step. Why? Why can’t I?

\- Yuri. Look at me. Please.

I turned and faced him, but I still couldn’t face him.

\- Open your eyes.

At that request, with that tone of voice, I gathered all the courage I had and opened my eyes. I wasn’t prepared for what I would see next.  
Otabek was looking at me with all the desire that a look could pass. His face had a sweet mysterious expression. That man wanted me, and I wanted him back. My fears slowly melted with his gaze. Now he knew there was something wrong with me, but he still wanted me.

\- Your eyes are the most beautiful I've ever seen. I've only been thinking about you ever since we bumped into each other. There's something about you that's just incredible. I've never wanted anyone like this before.

I flew to his mouth and kissed him, now full of confidence, twisting my body into his, rubbing our erections. I sucked his tongue with all the greed of my desire. I wanted him to feel that I could. He helped me find my courage back. Tonight, my body would be mine again. I would do this by sharing it with Otabek.

I inverted our positions, making him lie down on the bed, the way I was before.

\- Beka, I'm yours.

I held his penis, which looked more like a hard rock, and aimed the tip at my anus. I took control and went down, feeling myself enlarged in a delicious way, while looking at his face lost in pleasure, because of me. It wasn’t easy to put it all in, but once I got it, my body relaxed and I could feel his full extent in me.

\- Bekaa... Ah...

My heavy breath joined his own. Eyes half closed. I don’t even know if he's aware of everything we’re doing...

\- Yura...

He moaned my name and I moved. Up, down, up, down. I swirled back and forth. The friction, the feel of his hot body under mine. It was all very new to me. It was a flame in which they threw gas. I could no longer erase it.

\- More, Beka! More!

I let him take control. Beka held my waist so that I would reach for his hungry lips, allowing him to control the movements of his limb in me, increasing the pace, leaving me without air, without ground. In that position, every thrust struck my prostate. I was totally lost. I started tearing because of over-stimulation. 

\- Yura, I-I’m comming... Look. At. Me.

 

Beka held my hair and made me look at it. Our eyes met again. His eyes also watered with pleasure. His face was sweaty, and his mouth parted with moans that couldn’t be understood. It was the most beautiful sight.

\- Yura...

I felt his cock pulsing inside me and I came upon him soon after. I fluttered one last time to extract the last of our pleasure.  
I got him off and laid down beside him. This was my first time. The only one I'll consider.  
Otabek pulled me into his embrace, and even dirty and sweaty, we seized the moment together.

\- Yura. Stay here with me. Don’t... Don’t walk away.

\- I'm not going anywhere, Beka. I’m here with you.

I had no idea if we needed some status for what we were living. I don’t know if it's a date, but whatever it is, I accept it anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well... Did you guys like it? I really wanna know. It was already hard for me to write in portuguese, imagine in english. But anyways I hope you felt good with this chapter.
> 
> #lemonparty
> 
> See you soon, guys! <3


	8. Extra Otabek: My desire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again, guys!!! This is a short extra from Otabek POV after the last chapter. I hope you guys like it!
> 
> As always, kudos, comments, subs and bookmarks are welcome! <3

Otabek POV

It was official. I was in love. As much as I was struggling to deny. That was the only way to explain my feelings.

Yura had his head resting on my chest, snoring softly and quietly. His hair shone with the light coming through the window. I inhaled the scent from his hair and felt comfortable as never before. Everything about him was wonderful. And even his insecurities made me like it even more. He was a real person, had his strengths and weaknesses, but he was so perfect in many ways.

I tried to get up without waking him and I succeeded. I went to the bathroom to bathe. His scent was impregnated with me, as were the memories of the earlier moments.  
I went into the tub and lay down while I felt the hot water relax me. I closed my eyes and allowed myself time to process all those sensations. I haven’t felt this good in a long time. I've never had this connection with any woman I've ever been with. It was the first time I had sex with someone and my feelings were clear. It was shameful to be exposed like that, but I felt like I needed it. The closeness, the heat, the dependence.  
If I wasn’t sure what was going to happen between us the uncertainty was gone the moment Yura gave me the opportunity to look into his eyes. I would do anything for that smile, I would do anything to see his green eyes filled with tears of pleasure I could provide. Damn... I was excited again. I decided to end the bath because I knew how it would end.

When I returned to the bedroom I saw him sleeping and wanted to wake him up. His lips were a little swollen from our kisses, his neck showed dark red marks, his abdomen still dirty with semen. He was a mess and yet, that was all I wanted at that moment.

I can’t wake him. It must have been difficult for him, it was a roller coaster of emotions and given his reactions, some really big shit must have happened. "I'm a fucked up", he said. Whatever it is, I'll try hard to help him. Not that I was the most trusting person in the world, but if I have to, I will become that person.

I went into the kitchen and filled myself with a glass of water. I was very thirsty, and I hadn’t even noticed. After, I sat on the couch, missing LO. Although, it was a good idea to leave her with Victor before Yuri came here. I didn’t know how the night would end, but I hoped we would use up a lot of space and take time. Well, it actually happened, and it couldn’t have been better. I felt my eyes heavy with weariness and I ended up dozing off right there.

I was dreaming of something so yummy... Yura sitting on my lap, kissing my lips so softly and stroking my hair. The sensation was so good, it felt real.

I opened my eyes and saw him exactly as in my dream. I doubt it was a dream. It was real. Yura smiled at me.

\- Yura?

\- Shh ...  
He placed his finger sealing my lips and preventing me from saying anything.

He kissed my neck, sucking almost like in revenge for his own marks.

\- I don’t think it's fair that I’m the only one naked…

Yura opened my robe with a sensual smile.

\- You're very handsome, Otabek. It makes me want to do things...

His words excited me at the same moment and he took to rubbing our private parts, while biting my left shoulder. The pain of his bite was nothing compared to the feel of his wet hair on my trunk and the smell of my soap on his skin. I took advantage of it and bit his shoulder too. It was like a little fight. Neither of us wanted to show ourselves to the other, although it was more than clear that we had both succumbed.

In a quick move he descended from my lap and without my time to assimilate, he sucked my erection. Just like he did before with my fingers in his mouth, his tongue smoothed across my cock, sucking his head and then swallowing down the back of his throat. It was impossible to keep silent. The inside of his mouth was humid and hot, and surrounded me with sensations impossible to describe.

\- Yura, stronger!

He sucked even harder, squeezing my butt, pulling me even deeper into his mouth. My hands gripped the upholstery of the sofa to the point that my hands were red with the effort. That sight was more than I could handle. Yuri knelt, sucking me almost brutally.

\- Yura... If you... Ah! Don’t want to...

He didn’t answer me at all, only intensified the movements and placed the tip of the tongue in my urethra channel making me give up resisting. I'd be the first to lose. Ever. I enjoyed making his mouth fill. Yuri swallowing my pleasure was as exciting an image as what we were doing. Going to heaven and coming back was an inadequate metaphor for that moment. Going to hell for sin, appreciating sin and insisting on it might fit.

Yura got up from the floor, sat on the couch and laid his head on my thighs. His lips glowed and his face was red and smiling.

\- You owe me some coffee, Beka.  
He spoke as he fell asleep.

How could I live like this? I am doomed? I think so. But if I am, I don’t want to be set free.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Did you guys like it? I really hope so! Once again, thank you for reading this history. It is all for you! <3
> 
> See ya! <3


	9. When there's too much hapiness...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, guys! I'm back with this week's chapter. I hope you enjoy it!!!
> 
> As always, kudos, comments, subs and bookmarks make me really happy! <3

As I opened my eyes, I saw the morning light seep through the cracks in the curtain on the glass door. I saw small particles suspended through the incoming light. They danced lightly. Somehow they matched my body, which seemed to have lost pounds and pounds. The sense of freedom was my mate now. My muscles ached, though, the pain was welcome. I could still feel the touches on my skin, burning. I don’t know how long it would take to assimilate everything that happened last night. The best night of my life. I risked everything, but it was worth trusting.  
Well, Yuuri had to take some credit for that as well, for he encouraged me to try.

I was lying naked on Otabek’s cozy bed, but there was no sign of his presence. I tried to remember how I got there, but I didn’t remember anything besides lying on the couch at dawn. I got up from the bed and looked for my clothes that were conveniently folded on the bed. Maybe he was finishing his work. I dressed my clothes in a hurry, went to the bathroom and had to toothbrush my teeth with my fingers. Next time I'll try to remember to bring a toothbrush.

He wasn’t in the living room, or in the kitchen. Since Beka didn’t seem to be at home, I used his endorsement to feel comfortable and went to find something to eat. I had many options, however I decided to make fried eggs and cut some fruit for both of us. I sent a message to Otabek, trying to locate him:

I - Beka? Where are you? Are you coming back?

Afterwards, I sent a message to the Pig:

I - Yuuri. WE HAVE TO TALK.

I waited for Otabek's reply, but received nothing. However, Yuuri answered me promptly.

YK - Yurio. I WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED. There's only one reason Otabek’s cat is with Vic.

I - You'll have details, though, only later. P.s: Thanks, Piggy. I love you.

YK - YURA, YOU DO NOT PLAY WITH ME.

I heard a noise coming from the door. Otabek came in carrying many bags. I hurried to help him.

\- Wow, Otabek! Did you go to buy food or the whole supermarket?

\- First, good morning, Yura!

\- Hahahaha! Excuse me!

After we put the bags on the table, I threw my arms around his shoulder and said:

\- Good morning, Beka! I hope you had good dreams...

Before he could speak, I closed his lips with a kiss. It wasn’t like our previous kisses, which were needy and lustful. It was a kiss of tenderness and trust. At the moment, that's what I needed. Feeling that everything that really happened meant something important to both of us.

\- I hope to dream more often.

\- We can settle this...

\- If you keep teasing me, Yura, there's no self-control that could stop me.

\- Then I'd better put the water in the coffeepot…  
I pulled away from him laughing.

\- Wait! In my dream, you asked me to make your coffee. So, it is fair that I make the coffee, since you've prepared everything else.

\- Just put water in the coffee maker. Making coffee is not too complicated.

\- No. You're going to have my special coffee today.

Otabek picked up a kettle and poured water to warm it. Meanwhile, I kept the items in the kitchen’s cabinet, always asking the place of everything.

\- The first principle for a successful coffee is: do not let the water boil.

\- Are there principles for making coffee out of the coffee maker?

\- My father taught me when I started drinking coffee at the age of twelve. He was a businessman, I think he expected me to be too.  
He finished with a weak laugh.

\- Is that why you have this fancy apartment?

\- Yes, I inherited all of them. We always lived in this apartment. In addition to my room, there are 3 more. I had the option to change and sell the house but couldn’t do that. I would feel like I was betraying their trust.

\- I see...

\- Well, back to the coffee... Once the water is warm enough to extract the components of the powder, you use a cloth strainer, because the paper retains many essential substances to enhance the coffee flavor. And always, always add water to the powder. Never the powder in water. That way you avoid the coffee getting burnt taste.

As he spoke, he did exactly as he said. It was funny. It looked like a recipe program.

\- The last and most important thing to be discussed is the ratio of water to the amount of powder. Always use 2 tablespoons for a glass of 300 mL water.

\- OK! Now let's test if your recipe is worth drinking.

We sat down, and he poured me a cup of coffee. I drank. It was really delicious. The best I had ever had.

\- Ah! Beka... What about the liquids you produce?

His face turned red at the same moment. He answered me shyly:

\- The recipe you already have, Yura. I really don’t mind that you like it.

We drank the rest of our breakfast and talked in a relaxed way.

\- Why did you buy so much food, Otabek? Monthly shopping?

\- Actually, I was hoping you'd stay for lunch with me. I'd like to invite Vic and your friend too.

\- I would love to! But I also have to finish my work and study for the tests this week.

\- I’m sorry. I took a lot of your time this week.

\- No! Is not it! I just disn’t plan it right. I should have studied before, but I wasn’t in the mood for it.

\- It's all right. Is still 9 in the morning. Do I get one more hour with you?

\- Hm... I'll think about your case...

\- I even bought toothbrush for you.

\- Are you trying to seduce me with a toothbrush?

\- It's an attempt.

\- I want to spend some more time with you, too.

We finished breakfast, and I went to brush my teeth with my new brush. Afterwards, I returned to the living room and saw Otabek sitting in the armchair looking at something on his cell phone.

\- Is it interesting?

I approached him slowly.

\- It's nothing that can’t wait for an hour.

\- There is only one seat in this chair, Beka.

He didn’t answer me. He just got up and took me in his lap, sitting back on the chair. But this time I was sitting on his lap, leaning my back and legs on the arms of the chair.

\- Are you always so sassy, Beka?  
I said laughting.

\- Only when I have reason to be.

I laid my head on his shoulder. Though tight, I felt comfortable that way, feeling his scent through the T-shirt, the lightness in my hair, his arm wrapping around me like he wanted to protect me from something.

\- Have you ever dated anyone, Otabek?

\- No.

\- So, your affairs never got into a serious relationship?

\- Oddly, no. I'm 25 years old, Yura. I spent most of my youth studying and trying to manage the assets of my parents. There was a time when I was totally out of control and slept with any woman who wanted me, but I never dated any of them.

\- Oh really?

I would never have guessed that he had gone through such things...

\- I think everyone has moments that make no sense. Luckily, I've been able to stabilize again and now I'm fine. I mean... I must have a lot of self-control when I'm with you, but I think I can handle myself.

\- You mean I make you out of control?

\- Maybe…

\- I've spent the past two years being that person, Beka. I want to relearn how to lose my control.

\- You don’t know how to lose control anymore, Yura?" So, let me teach you...

Otabek took off my shirt with unbelievable speed and stretched my body into the arms of the chair.

\- Hold your arms back.

I did as he told me, curious as the story unfolded.

\- Let's play, Yura.

Beka began to kiss me, leaving hickeys on my milky torso, without touching me with his hands. My mind could only concentrate on the heat of his mouth, since there was no other stimulus. His tongue wandering in my body, with an overdose of malice as it passed my nipples, sending me into space on an express rocket.

\- Beka... Don’t... Ahn!

I could only feel his mouth and body succumbing to pleasure as I tried to keep myself in the arms of the chair. I felt a shy bite near my rib. I looked at Otabek trying to understand what he wanted with that. My permission? For what?

I nodded silently. Did he want me to lose control? I would try.

Beka unbuttoned my pants and placed one of his hands inside my underwear and exposed my cock, masturbating lightly. I felt his teeth attacking the skin of my ribs, this time stronger. I screamed at the sensation and my body arched.  
It increased the pace and pressure on my penis as he found new places to explore with his mouth, leaving me with bites that burned and made me melt with the wonderful feeling left by his hands.

\- Beka!

It felt like I was screaming in a megaphone. I could no longer hold myself, just wanted to put it out. I was drawn to an unexpected kiss, which put me in Otabek’s lap and in his arms. His tongue penetrated my mouth as if to muffle my sounds. Like lightning, I came, pouring into the hands of this malicious man, without me having at least time to prepare myself.

When I was able to open my eyes, I saw Otabek tasting me in his hands. I blushed deeply at the scene.

\- You're fucking delicious, Yura.

In the background, we heard the doorbell of the apartment ring. Who could it be?

\- Stay here. I'll answer it.

Beka went to the door and opened it. I stayed in the chair listening to the conversation:

\- Good morning, lady. Can I help you with something?  
Otabek said.

I heard a female voice from the other side of the door, answering:

\- Yeah... I... I'm your neighbor downstairs and... Sorry to bother you like that in the morning, but the kids are already awake and I... I...

\- Is there something wrong?

\- I... I wonder if you can make a little less noise, you know?

My face went to the floor. I just wanted to die of shame.

\- Of course! Very sorry! We'll keep things as quiet as possible, right Yura?

Otabek opened the door, making me appear behind the chair with a yellow smile of shame. I didn’t dare say a word.

\- Oh! I don’t want to disturb anything. I'm going.

\- We're sorry again.

\- Have a good day.

\- Yeah, you too.

As soon as Beka closed the door, we could hear a hysterical scream coming from the small hallway that led to the elevator.

\- Well, I think we have a fan...

\- Otabek! Why did you let me scream like that if you knew you had neighbors with children?

\- I thought you wanted to lose control, Yura...

\- The children have heard! I want to be buried alive!

\- Easy, Yura! I had to put up with these children’s crying, they can put up with your cries of pleasure.

\- Otabek Altin. This is not going to happen again. At least not in your apartment.

Beka came to me and kissed me. And so, we stayed for a few more minutes, until I realized the hour advanced.

\- I have to go, Beka.

\- I'll take you.

\- You don’t have to.

\- Let me be kind to you.

I accepted his ride, willing to do something for him in retribution as well. But I would have to plan something, and I really don’t know how to do these things. On the way to my house, we talked about what our week. We'd both be very busy. I would have had tests all week and he was preparing for a qualifying examination. We would probably see each other only the other weekend, which made me a little sad.

\- We're here, Yura.

\- Well... See you, Beka!

I got out of the car in a hurry, if I stayed there, I would want him to take me back to stay together the rest of the day. We couldn’t be so irresponsible.

\- Yura! I...  
Otabek spoke from inside the car.

Not resisting, I went to the driver's window and kissed him fervently. I wanted him to know through that kiss how special these moments we shared were. When he ceased our kiss, I said:

\- I know. I know exactly how you fell. See you Friday night, Beka. Wait for me.

I walked to the door of the house, convinced that even though what I was feeling hadn’t a form yet, it was real.

Upon entering the house, I saw my grandfather sitting at the living room table, facing the window.

\- Looks like the night was good...

\- Gossipy old man...

\- You look happy, son.

\- We can say that, Grandpa.

\- So, I've started approving this Otabek guy. When will I meet your boyfriend?

\- Hey! Calm down, Grandpa! We're not dating yet. Let's follow the flow of things and see what will happen.

\- Hm... So, invite him to eat Piroshki when he can. I want to make sure that he is a good-natured person and that he will treat my grandson in a dignified manner.

\- Leave it to me! I'm going to my studies.

I went to my room, took my cell phone and called my little pig. I told him what was overlooked because we agreed to meet on the other Sunday to update our love novelties. I studied the rest of the day and night.  
This will be a long week.

(Next Thursday)

It was Thursday and I was exhausted. There were 4 tests and 2 assignments. I probably failed all of them because I had no mood to study. College got me to the maximum of stress and anxiety quite easily. I didn’t want it to be that way, but it was my reality. My salvation, this week, was in message conversations with Otabek. There weren't many messages, for the enormous amount of study and work we both had, however, they were always present at dawn, making our days better. I was very much looking forward to our next meeting, but I didn’t want to let him notice how needy I was.

The day had a beautiful sunshine and I needed to breathe some fresh air. I went to the lawn at the back of the building and laid in the shade of a tree, caring almost nothing if my white shirt was going to get dirty. It was a very empty place, where I went to rest between classes. Fortunately, I had left all my belongings in the closet of the academic center, allowing me to nap a little before the last afternoon exam.

At some point, in my sleep state, I felt something moving in my hair.  
Believing it to be some animal or insect, I got up scared. But what I saw was much worse than either.

\- You look very handsome, kitten.

\- What are you doing here?

\- Taking a walk... Observing the fauna of the region. Deer seem very vulnerable drinking water from the river.

\- Get out of here!

I jumped up to get out of that place, but Jean pulled my arm, making me fall to the ground beside him.

\- I said I'd stay by your side, did not I?  
He spoke in a soft voice.

\- Let go of me now! I-I'm going to scream.

\- I'm being kind and polite to you, Yura. I just want some of your attention.

He kept holding my arm, preventing me from leaving. I cursed myself mentally for being so thin and not muscular at all.

\- Come here.

He pulled me up and placed himself on top of my body, making me dizzy and sick.

\- So, you and that guy from the observatory are together?"

\- It’s not of your business! Just let me go! Why are you chasing me?

\- Isn’t that simple to understand? Because I can, and because you are mine.

\- I'm not yours! I will never be yours! Let me go!

My emotions once contained, now flowed down my face through my agonized tears. I was pure fear. Fear of the evil JJ could do to me. No one could reach me or help me, there was no one there to hear my cries for help.

\- Get away from that guy. I will not speak twice.

My tears ran, and I didn’t even know what was happening.

\- Shh shh! You don’t want to call attention, kitten. You're going to do what I'm telling you and...

I heard laughter coming in our direction and JJ soon moved away from me, leaving without any explanation, just as it appeared.

I stood there on the floor. I cried until I had neither strength nor tears left. I tried to get up, but my legs were shaking so much that I sat there. I needed to get to at least to the academic center. It was my only goal. I gathered forces that I didn’t have and leaned against the walls.

Dragging me down the aisles, I arrived in the destination room. I grabbed my backpack, got my cell phone, and when I found it, I dialed the only one who could help me. The beeps on the call rang for a long time, but I would insist.

\- Yura? I'm in class, what happened?

\- Yuuri, help me for God's sake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! We're getting into the development now. I hope you guys keep reading it, it means a lot to me.
> 
> Thank you so much for this. <3
> 
> See ya!!!


	10. Truth and lies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! We are here again.
> 
> From now on I would like to let you know that this chapter can generate triggers, so: DO NOT READ THIS CHAPTER IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE ABOUT CONTENTS OF VIOLENCE AND / OR ABUSE. Please. I don't want anyone to feel bad about anything I've written.
> 
> If you want to read only the parts of the story that do not involve this type of content, skip the part where I'll let you know it's a flashback, I'll let you know inside the chapter as well, and leave it with a larger spacing of the other parts, that you are aware that part is the one that can trigger.
> 
> AND NO, I DO NOT SUPPORT VIOLENCE OF ANY KIND. ABUSE IS A CRIME AND SHOULD BE TREATED AS SUCH!
> 
> Well, after this very important warning, I just like to wish you a good reading. Hope you like it. <3
> 
> As always, kudos, comments, subs and bookmarks are very welcome!

Yuuri POV

 

I was desperate. It was another crisis.

We were in my house now, Yura lying on my bed, sleeping as if that was the only thing that could save him. He didn’t even tell me what happened, but I knew that it involved Jean, somehow. When I met him he was shaking and sweating so much... I just wanted to help him in any way possible, but in the end, I did the usual, I bathed him and put him to sleep.

If he had called me, it was certainly because he couldn’t talk about it with anyone else or his grandfather. I hate lying to my mother and Nikolai, I said that he decided to sleep here out of nowhere and that we would spend all night playing video games. I wasn’t very convincing.  
Yurio looked extremely tired. Even asleep, there were wrinkles between his eyebrows. That left me with a broken heart. It hurt in me too. I'm tired of being a worthless friend.

My mother called us to dinner. How to explain in a decent way that Yura was sleeping at 7 at night?

\- Hi, Mom. Yuri is sleeping a little before our gaming night.

\- Yuuri, we're not in crisis again, are we?

\- No! Yura is just tired of the tests, but we’re going to have fun today!  
I said, trying to smile in a way that seemed true.

\- Did you forget that Vitya is coming to our house today?

\- No! He's going to take part in our marathon.  
It was a lie, I'd completely forgotten.

\- Then clean up your room, he should be arriving soon.

My mother left the room, leaving me not knowing what to do. Vic would come to visit us, but I couldn’t leave Yura in the situation he was in. I'll have to talk to Vitya when he gets here. I went back to the bedroom. Yura was still sleeping, so I took some time to clean the place.

A few minutes later, the bell rang, making butterflies fly inside me. My Vitya had arrived. I ran to the front door and mother was already welcoming him.

Somehow, Victor was exactly the person who should be there. Completing. Adding to my life what I never thought I needed.

I ran to meet him and hugged him, resting my face on his chest. I received his tight hug back, snuggling into his arms.

\- Yuuri. Don’t let us be apart for so long!

\- I won’t. I had so much exams this week… I needed to study.

\- If you need help with physics or calculus, you know you can ask for my help...

\- I know, Vitya. But at the same time, I don’t want to be a nuisance. You are a professor and have your obligations.

\- It's never a bother to help you.

\- Let's go to my room.

\- I know you can’t hold on after those days without seeing me…

\- That's not it, Victor!  
I spoke so, trying to hide my shame.

I took him by the hand and led him into the bedroom. When we arrived, Vic clearly wasn’t expecting to find Yuri in my bed.

\- What is Otabek's boyfriend doing sleeping in your bed?

\- It's a long story, Vitya. I'll need some of your patience and understanding. I won’t tell you details, because I feel it is up to Yura to explain, if he wants to.

I briefly explained the story of Yuri and JJ, however, omitting the worst part. It was too personal. Victor sat on the edge of my bed, where Yura was still sleeping, and smoothed his head.

\- Poor thing, Yuuri. It must be really stressful to go through such situations.

\- You’re right. And I still don’t know what happened to him. Luckily my mother lent me the car for today, at least I was able to bring him here.

\- I think it best to leave, then. You will certainly have something to talk about when he wakes up.

\- No! Please, Vitya. I haven’t seen you all week. Stay with me for a little while.

\- Of course, my love. I'll do anything for you.

Victor kissed me, and as always, the world around me disappeared. At that moment I could only feel his cold hands on my face, lifting me to draw us closer and closer. His lips made me delirious with the softest of kisses. Until his tongue asked for passage. Then there were no words to describe the ferocity of what was happening between us. The softness of his tongue didn’t match the intensity of it, and at the same time it was perfect. If I didn’t control myself, I would end up wanting more than I could at that moment.

Before the situation got hotter, I heard my name being called softly:

\- Yuuri. I'm going to... Throw..

Victor acted quickly. He took Yurio in his lap and led him into the bathroom, placing his face toward the toilet. Yura vomited very little. Did he eat anything today?

\- Leave it to me, Vic. I'll take care of him, no need to bother.

\- Yuuri! How many times do I have to tell you that I'm here for you. If your friend needs help, I'll help too. Trust me.

\- Okay. I'll get him some medicine. I'll be back.

I sneaked into the kitchen to get the medicine. Unfortunately, my mother is very smart. She understood the situation at once.

\- Son, why did you lie to me? I know that Yurio is not well.

\- I didn’t mean to bother you, Mother. Besides, I still don’t know what happened to him. It may not be related to JJ.

\- All right, Yuuri. Just take good care of him. If you need anything, I'll be in my room. What about Vitya?

\- Victor's still going to spend the night here. He was willing to help as well.

\- Right. I love you, son. You’re a golden hearted boy.

She kissed my forehead and I felt more relieved not to keep lying to my mother. I found the medicine I was looking for in the closet, so I went back to the bedroom. Yurio was resting again, but awake.

\- Yura! How are you?

\- As if I had eaten a piece of shit.

\- Get up, let's get some medicine.

I gave him the usual medicine. Meanwhile Victor watched us sitting in a chair in the corner of the room.

\- Go back to sleep.

\- Yuuri, I don’t want to talk to anyone these days. Can I hide here?

\- Yura, hiding will not solve anything. I don’t even know what happened. Aren’t you going to tell me?

\- Can I have some time before that?

\- Of course! Take the time you need. But know that one hour we will have to talk about it.  
Yurio turned back to the bed and went back to sleep.

\- Yuuri, this isn’t normal. He must get medical help.  
Victor said with a worried expression.

\- I already tried to convince him. But he doesn’t want to. I feel he's afraid of something, but he won’t tell me.

Victor got up and hugged me. I needed his warmth to calm me down.

\- Come on, Yuuri. Let's lie down in the living room. I will take care of you.

 

Yuri POV

 

\- Come on, Yuri! Wake up! It's already Saturday. You've been sleeping since Thursday. This is not healthy!

\- Pig, I just don’t want to talk to anyone.

\- Otabek called you several times. He called me, too. I had to tell him that you weren’t feeling well. He's coming here.

\- Fuck, Yuuri! Look at the state I’m in! Why did you go tell him that I wasn’t well? He doesn’t even know what happened yet!

\- I don’t know either, Yura, because you don’t tell me! If you want me to help you, you must trust me! Even if it's just a little.

\- I trust! I still can’t explain what happened. Give me some more time, okay? I promise I'll tell you.

\- It's all right. But you will need to explain to Otabek about what happened. If you want to keep some kind of relationship with him, you will need to be frank about your past.

\- I already know. Maybe he won’t see me again after I tell him.

\- Is not it! I doubt he's this kind of guy. But any relationship builds with confidence. Suppose you start dating seriously and you have other crises? How can he help you if he doesn’t even know what it's about? That will hurt him, too.

His words were so true that they killed me. As always, Yuuri was right. I needed to do that. I would tell Otabek about my past.

\- Now go take a shower. He should be coming by now, and I'm sure you will not want him to realize that you've been out for two days without a shower.

I crawled into the bathroom and took a shower that relaxed me a little. I would need it. It wouldn’t be easy to relive those memories. When I finished bathing, I went back to the bedroom wearing clean clothes from my piggy.

\- Yuuri.

\- What?

\- Thank you so much for being my friend all this time. I know is not easy to deal with me and my problems. Thank you for not giving up on me. I love you.

Yuuri hugged me tightly.

\- I love you too, Yura! You are the best friend I could wish for.

A few tears came down hard on my face.  
We heard the ringing of the house bell. I froze immediately. It was Otabek and I couldn’t run away anymore.

\- I'm going to open the door for him and ask him to come into the room, okay?

I nodded my head.

A little later, I heard them approaching the door and Yuuri talking to Otabek:

\- I'll leave you alone. Take the time you need. If you need me, I'll be in the living room.

\- Thank you, Yuuri.  
Otabek said in his deep voice, making a familiar warmth wash over my body.

He entered the room and closed the door behind him. He was as wonderful as ever. His leather jacket matched his masculine face. How I missed that...

\- Yura? Are you feeling better?  
He asked, still standing by the door.

\- A little, yes. Sit down here, Beka. Let's talk.

\- Right.

He sat beside me, looking directly into my eyes. I looked away, ashamed to stare at him so closely. I felt his hand touch my chin and turned my face to his. We were very close, but Beka didn’t kiss me. Maybe he doesn’t want to push things between us.

\- I'll tell you what happened in my past, Otabek. I need you to listen to me carefully.

He nodded, and I continued.

\- Remember the guy in the Observatory? The asshole? I was in love with him 2 years ago.  
Beka was silent and I continued.

\- At the time I thought he was a cool, fun-filled guy. I just wanted some of his attention. I always had a lot of style and personality, it seemed like I had found someone like me. However, he never corresponded to me as I wanted. Until one day, magically he said he was interested in me. At that moment I didn’t think that was weird, I was too busy with my happiness to have been recognized by someone I admired.

My voice began to tighten a little, but I held my tears with as much as I could.

\- When we want someone to love us, Beka, we do whatever is necessary. I was like that. I did everything to make him love me. I moved away from my friends, I lived by him, even though he didn’t correspond with the same intensity.

\- Yura, it's normal to want to please the person we want to conquer.

\- No, Otabek. It wasn’t like that. It was sick. I did more than I should, I showed more than I should, I gave more than I could.

\- How did you find out he was an asshole?

\- It was the day we set up to have sex. It was my first time and I was very excited and anxious...

 

~WARNING! IF YOU HAVE ANY ISSUES WITH RAPE AND VIOLENT CONTENT, PLEASE, SKIP THIS FLASHBACK AND GO TO THE PART WHERE IT SAYS, “FLASHBACK OFF”~

 

(Yuri flashback)

\- Take off your clothes, kitten.

I did as Jean told me, even ashamed that this was my first time, I revealed my whole body to the person who would have it.

\- A beautiful body. Perfect. No marks. Too bad I cannot let you see what your first night will look like.

Quickly he blindfolded me with a piece of cloth. It was strangely exciting not knowing what was going to happen to me. But I trusted my love. I trusted that everything would be for my pleasure and his.  
I was pushed into the bed. I laughed at that.

\- You're going to like it very much, kitten. But you're going to have to do exactly what I tell you, you want me to give myself to you, don’t you?

My heart raced like never before. He was promising me his heart. It was all I wanted. I'd do anything.

\- Go doggy style for me. You mustn’t say anything. Not a word comes out of your mouth, understood, kitten?

I positioned myself as he wished, didn’t even know if that was right. Why couldn’t I speak? Was that his foreplay? I felt very ashamed, but it should be normal. It was my first time, I was blindfolded and could not speak. The cold in my belly persisted, making me sweat with anticipation.

\- Very handsome, Yuri. Look at that pink anus. I'll take advantage of it in so many ways...

 

I felt an infernal pain. Burned and ripped. Was it his finger? Wasn’t I supposed to be lubricated before that?

\- Hmm... You're really tight. It makes sense, you’re a virgin. That way you're going to hurt me. Let's lubricate you to make things easier.

An icy liquid was deposited in my anus, bringing some relief to the external area, but the internal still hurt because of the friction with Jean's fingers, even with the lubricant.

\- The way you're tight, I'll have to take extra measures. I have something here that suits you, kitten. Hope you like.

I heard drawer noises opening and closing. A short time later, I felt an object at my entrance trying to force its passage into me. It was much worse than before. My eyes covered by that cloth, held my tears in place, preventing me from crying. If I had known it would hurt so much, I would have given up. But now there was no turning back, was there? If that was necessary to make Jean mine, it wasn’t a price too high to pay.

\- Uhh! JJ, I don’t...

\- Shh shh! It's gonna be okay. I won’t leave your side.

The object was heavy and seemed to extend out of me. Over time, the pain subsided, and the sensation of enlargement increased, which helped me to endure a little of that situation.

\- What a sight you are! Open your mouth and stick your tongue out, Yuri.

Finally, we were going to kiss that night and make the love that I planned and prepared for. However, I didn’t feel him sucking my tongue or putting his mouth in my mouth. None of this. I felt a salty taste on my tongue, followed by the sensation of a viscous liquid running down my tongue into my mouth. Before I could react, Jean gagged me, keeping the taste in me.

\- It is okay, isn’t it, kitten? I won’t do you any harm. I just want you to enjoy feeling my taste in your mouth. You'll like it, I know.

I nodded my head. That wasn’t a normal first time, so I should not worry so much. If Jean guaranteed that I would feel good afterwards, I would believe. He pulled the object out of me. I felt relieved. Would he now hold me for real? Yes. I would finally conquer him.

Jean placed his warm flesh in my damp opening and pushed his whole cock inside me. The depth was so great that I could hardly bear it, at least the object of before allowed me to become accustomed to the width.

\- Ah! That tight ass! I knew it would be nice since you insinuated to me.

For the first time I felt his hands on me. They tightened my waist causing our bodies to collide in a back and forth motion. I experienced pleasure for the first time that night. It was the person I loved so much. I didn’ believe it. It seemed too good to be true. But why did I feel in my heart that it was wrong?

Each thrust of Jean in me imparted a bizarre flow of pleasure to my brain, but at the same time, the voice inside me said I didn’t want that. It said I wanted to be loved, kissed, hugged, and not just stocked by his limb.

But I wanted love, didn’t I? That was love. It was the love he wanted to give me.  
Without warning me, Jean came into me, interrupting the pleasure I felt. It was a little disappointing, I had to admit it. But I was so tired that I couldn’t even think much, at least now he was mine.  
JJ withdrew my sale and gag, he looked at me with a mysterious look and said:

\- I'm sure it was a memorable evening for both of us.

I fell asleep in his bed, sure that now I was a complete and beloved man.

When I woke up sometime in the morning, I groped for Jean in bed. I didn’t find him. I looked around the room and saw him sitting by the window in a robe. He looked beautiful as ever. I noticed that he was looking at some pictures and smiling.

\- What photos are these? You look very happy looking at them.

\- Want to find out?

\- Yes, I'm curious.

\- Come here then.

I wrapped myself in a mess on the bed sheet. I got up with difficulty, feeling my body aching, heavy and sticky. I walked over to JJ to see the photos and my perception of the room began to spin.  
They were images of a creature that looked like a quadruped. Clumsy blond hair, eyes blindfolded, mouth gagged in the same way as an animal gag. He was indeed an animal, for a woolly tail of a tiger stood out from his ass. If I hadn’t been through that situation, I could never say it was me there except for the blond hair.

\- Wh-What is it, J-Jean? No... What is it? But...

\- Did the cat eat your tongue, Yuri? Of course this is you, a few hours ago.

\- Why? You said you loved me.

\- I never said that.

\- But...

\- You should know I would never date a bitch like you. You were always rubbing on me... Looked like a hungry cat.

I had no words to answer. It was all so confusing in my head, I just felt the weight of disappointment. It was the weight of the world on my shoulders.

\- These photos... What are you going to do with them?

\- I won’t do anything. It's just a reminder of how you're a slut. In that case, my slut. After all, I was the first to touch you.

\- I ... I'm not your bitch. You supposedly liked me. I don’t understand...

\- Yuri, you're mine. You’ll ever be.

\- Are you saying you want to stay with me?

\- You haven’t noticed yet, have you? You'll remember that night forever. You will remember the way I blindfold you, the way I came in your mouth, the way I gagged you, I made you a little animal at my feet. You'll remember that I fucked you for my pleasure and not for yours. Hahahahahaha! You didn’t even come! I swear I expected more of the person who claimed to be so in love with me.

At that moment, all my strength had dissipated. I fell to the ground, vomited everything in my body. My mind went blank.

When I woke up, I was in a car with Yuuri at my side.

\- Yura? Are you feeling better? JJ said you were sick and his car was broken, I came to get you a taxi. I'm taking you home.

No onomatopoeia would suffice to describe the form of my agonized cry within that tight space. I pressed Yuuri beginning to cry in his arms.

\- What happened, Yuri? Did something happen between you and Jean?

\- I AM THE MOST IDIOT, SON OF A BITCH!

\- I still don’t understand. Did you guys break up? I mean, wasn’t it your special night tonight?

\- We never dated! Never! He just did what he wanted from me! He took advantage of what I felt and treated me like a whore shortly after!  
I screamed at Yuuri, not being able to hold my own emotions.

\- He used you? You mean… Like abusing you?

\- I let him do it to me. I trusted him. I did everything, Pig! Why didn’t he love me back?  
I spoke in a choked voice.

\- Sentimental abuse is also abuse, Yuri! Don’t blame yourself for this! Please, I can’t stand to see you like this!

Yuuri started to cry with me. There was no way to change what happened. The damage was done, and I would never be able to give myself completely to anyone else. I just wanted to protect both my body and my heart.

(Flashback off)

 

~IF YOU SKIPPED THE FLASHBACK, YOU CAN PROCEED FROM NOW ON~

 

\- That's what happened, Otabek. And I understand if you don’t want to be with me any longer. I'm like that, fucked up. I can’t escape it. I don’t know if I can completely trust anyone as a love interest.

Beka was quiet for a long time. He seemed to reflect on everything I said.

\- I really like what we're living, Beka. Don’t misunderstand me. I've trusted you to share my body. It's so much more than I ever had the guts, after what happened. It means a lot to me.

\- I want to be worthy of your total trust. I don’t want you just for your body, Yura!

\- Otabek, I don’t want you to cling onto me, without me being able to match your expectations.

\- I'm not afraid to admit that I'm in love with you, anymore. I've felt something different for you since I first saw you. Just let me try to conquer you, Yura. Conquer your confidence.

I hugged him. To smell him automatically relaxed my body. Is that how trusting someone feels like? To be comfortable even with all the uncertainties?

\- I'll do what I can to help you with whatever you're going through.

\- Thank you, Beka.

We held each other for a long time. I wasn’t yet ready to tell him about what happened on Thursday. How would I explain that JJ was chasing me, now? How to explain to Otabek that I was afraid to walk alone and afraid that Jean would do something against him?

\- Come on, Yura. I'll drive you home.

We went to my house. I needed to think.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again, guys! If I found it difficult to write the lemon, this chapter was a disgrace. I got sick for a little while. But the intention wasn't at any time that you guys feel bad reading what I wrote. I just wanted to portray something that happens to people by our side. Often we lose sight of reality when we like someone. We let that person use us without our noticing. I want to make it clear that psychological and emotional abuse is also abuse. Just because Yurio let Jean do that to him does not mean it was good. Yuri is psychologically damaged for that.
> 
> Well, anyways, I hope you enjoyed the chapter! If you want, leave your comments and I'll anwser any questions.
> 
> p.s: I love Yuuri and we'll have more Victuuri from now on. <3
> 
> See ya!


	11. 3 Hearts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys!!! We're here for another chapter. I consider this, one of the most important chapters, because we're going to see more of Otayuri's relationship. As always, I hope you like this!
> 
> Kudos, comments, subs and bookmarks are always welcome!

Otabek and I arrived at the door of my house. I did not know how to say goodbye to him. I wanted to be alone, but at the same time all I wanted was to have him around.

\- Are you ok, Yura? Did something happen?

\- It's just that I... I mean, I... I wanted you to stay with me today.

\- Are you ashamed to invite me in?

\- It's just that I don’t know, I'm afraid of disturbing your day.

\- You're not disturbing anything. I also wanted to spend time with you.

He smiled so genuinely that my uncertainties were gone.

\- So, let's go! Get ready to meet my grandfather.

\- But, Yura! Am I well dressed for this? I don’t want to be intrusive.

\- His name is Nikolai, remember that.

We got out of the car and held hands before we got into my house. Otabek seemed nervous as he squeezed my hand so that blood was missing from my fingertips. I took the keys and opened the door. I passed by the door first, being greeted by my grandfather:

\- Yuri! I missed you!

Before I could respond, Beka came right in after me, to my grandfather's surprise.

\- Hello, Mr. Nikolai. My name is Otabek, I am... Yura’s friend. Nice to meet you.

\- I didn’t know that friends hold hands like that, nowadays... Pleased to meet you, Otabek. I've heard quite enough about you.

They shook hands. I don’t think I'd ever seen Otabek waver in any situation that did not involve his family. But he was clearly nervous about meeting my grandfather.

\- Sit down, Otabek. Make yourself home.  
My grandfather said, sounding probing every move of us.

I sat beside Otabek waiting for my grandfather to start the questions.

\- I know you're going to be uncomfortable if I ask you a lot. But I'll ask anyway, because I'm a very curious old man.

\- No problem, sir.

\- Don’t call me sir, call me by my name. Yuri is the only who calls by that, and I really feel old.

\- All right, Nikolai.

\- How old are you?

\- 25.

\- Are you still in College?

\- I’m in my PhD. I undergraduated in physics.

\- Hahahaha! Yuri always ends up close to math people.

We laughed a lot of that. After that, the conversation proceeded lightly. My grandfather, fortunately, wasn’t intrusive and asked him only things about the work and his tastes.

\- Ok. It is time... You can’t get away from this question.

Beka and I looked at each other, a little apprehensive of the matter being uttered.

\- That sounds extremely cliché, but I want to know what are your intentions with my grandson.

I froze.

\- I want it with your grandson, whatever he wants with me. As long as he wants to, I'll be at his side. Never ahead.

My grandfather just nodded his head. I think he was satisfied with the answer. What about me?

\- Well, I was just waiting for you to arrive, Yuri. I will not be home for the rest of the day.

\- Where are you going, Grandpa?

\- Don’t you remember? Today and tomorrow will be the annual celebration of the chess club. I'll spend the night playing and drinking tea.

\- Ah! Of course! How did I forget about your precious event? Have you packed the medicine in the bag?

\- Yes mom...

Beka started to laugh beside me.

\- Someone has to be the adult in this house, Otabek.

\- Anyway, I'll get my things, because I'm already late.

My grandfather went up to his room, leaving us in little more relieved.

\- You did very well, Beka.

\- All I said was the truth, Yura.

\- I know that.

\- Your grandfather is cool.

\- He is.

We were frightened for a moment when we heard his voice.

\- Well, the house is yours. At least until tomorrow afternoon.

\- Good party, Grandpa!

\- It was a pleasure, Nikolai.

\- I hope you come back often to taste my delicate food.

\- Certainly!

My grandfather went out the door and closed it. We were alone.

\- Well, that sounds really interesting.

We heard the sound of the door opening and my grandfather tucking his head inside, saying:

\- And any damage to my furniture will be your responsibility.

He closed the door and left us confuse.

\- What did he mean by that, Beka?

\- How should I know? You're his grandson, not me.

\- Let's put it aside for now. Come on, I'll show you my room.

I took him by the hand and led him to my room.

\- It's small, but it's my warmth.

\- It's a good room. Like you said, it's cozy.

\- Care to lie down for a while, Beka? I'm still not feeling 100%.

\- Of course not, Yura. Whatever you need...

The day was warm, so I took off my coat, turned on the air conditioning, and lay down on the bed.

\- What is it, Beka?" Aren’t you going to take off your jacket too?

Otabek removed the piece and shoes and sat on the bed beside me.

\- How do you want me to lie down?

\- Behind me, Beka. I need you to hold me.

Eyes closed, I felt his warmth approaching my back. It was one of the best sensations of my life. I felt secure in his embrace. A comfort I could never feel by myself.

I needed to think. Think of how to protect Beka. Think about how to tell the events of Thursday. Think of how to open myself.  
There was a lot to be thought of, but at the moment, I had everything I needed.

 

Otabek POV

 

I was lying with Yura. My heart was a mixture of happiness and hate.  
I felt like the happiest guy in the world for being with the person I like. Because I can caress him, kiss him, embrace him.

But nothing in the world could stop me when it comes to protecting Yuri. I'd kill that bastard. I needed a plan and would have to play in the same coin. I guess he must be making some sort of psychological pressure on Yura. He didn’t tell me, but I'm not an idiot. In one moment everything was fine, and in the other Yuri was in a panic crisis, so Yuuri told me.

I would have to work something out for good. Eventually this would involve me having to threaten Jean in some way, but it would be a small price to pay. I would take that risk.

Yura moved in his sleep, sticking his body even more into mine. The fit was perfect. The scent of his hair made me numb. His ass brushed against me, stirring my most intense desires... No. He needed to rest. I would never put my wishes above his needs.

I took advantage of the fact that he was sleeping, and I decided to get up very slowly. I went into the living room and sat there, distracted by reading the late articles of the PhD. I have no idea how much time had passed, but it was already dark. I looked at my cell phone. 7:23 p.m. I heard a noise coming from the hall. I turned to look and saw Yura with a towel wrapped around his waist, leaning against the wall with a sly smile.

Could he be sexier than he already was? My brain responded by sending all the blood flow to my limb.

\- I thought you were staying with me in bed, Beka...

\- I coudn’t sleep and didn’t want to disturb you.

\- I felt lonely, you know?

\- I can help you with your loneliness, if you want...

Yura came up to me and stood in front of me. I could only think of one thing, but I had never done it. Maybe if I did the same way he did with me... Would he like it? Still beneath the towel, I noticed his erection growing. I removed the towel. His rosy cock was so inviting... It made me moisten my lips in anticipation.  
I raised my eyes to watch him. His eyes glittered. I love green.

Without waiting any longer, I tasted it. First, only with the tongue, making it walk all its length. It was a divine sensation, its texture was soft and its smell, intoxicating. Gradually, I put it in my mouth, being able to enjoy everything. So good... I began to suck him harder, up and down with my lips.

\- Beka... That!

I looked up and saw his face completely red. It was the incentive I needed. I pushed it to the end of my throat. Delicious! The most exciting thing was to hear his groans. Yura decided to be dirty with me.

\- Fuck, Beka! If you want me so much, you need to hurry!  
I released his cock from my mouth.

\- Yura... I am capable of many things with you. If you say you want me...

Yura lowered himself to the height of my face and said:

\- I think I already told you. I wish you too much, Otabek. If it were not so, we would never be here. I want you to feel pleasure with me, and I want to feel pleasure with you.

\- And how do you want it, Yura?

\- I want it here and now, Beka. I want it strong. I want you to make me forget my name, and make me scream for yours.

Was Yura giving himself to me? Was he starting to trust me?  
My clothes were gone in one second. I took his hands in mine and carried him to the arm of the sofa. I turned him with his back to me and facing the couch, making him lie down on the arm of the couch, his butt steep for me and his trunk underneath, resting on the stew.

\- Beka? What are you going to do with me?

\- Nothing you don’t want, Yura. If you want to stop, let me know and I'll stop. But if you want to continue, I want to know too.

All this week I spent alone, I heard a song that made me think of him. It made all the inappropriate thoughts come to me in the nights away from him. I reached for my cell phone and hit the play, leaving the song on repeat.

"I bet you love me more after that first fuck ..."

I bent down and started to kiss the outside of his butt. I bit the spot, causing his legs to react and a moan came out of his mouth. All I wanted was to savor it. Just as I studied my articles during this week, I also studied how I could please him.

I parted the sides of his ass, displaying his pink entrance. I closed my eyes and let my tongue wander around.

\- B-Beka... Ahn... Arf... Arf...

Yura was enjoying it. I started kissing with my lips too. It was too hot. I felt his body move further toward my mouth. Feeling bolder, I began to invade him with my tongue.

\- Ahnnn! More! Please!

I stepped up, yanking Yuri higher. I think we're ready. I took the condom and the lub from my wallet. I put them on my neglected limb, and also applied the lubricant to Yura as well. Although after my work, I think things would go well even without lubricant...  
I put my erection in the entrance of his anus.

\- May I, Yura?

\- Fuck yes.

I entered him very slowly, feeling his heat and the pressure on me. It was like heaven.

\- Yura... So delicious...

He began to move his ass at me, causing all angles to be explored.

\- Yura! Fuck move!

The frequency increased and decreased. He squeezed me like a massage and relieved the pressure making me salivate for more.

"I'ma make it mine, mine for the night.  
Got me pulling on your hair ... "

It was my turn to control our pleasure. I grabbed hold of his waist and pulled him to me.

\- It’s too d-deep…  
Yura said in a muffled voice.

Worried about his comfort, I left a space between us.

\- No! Fuck all the way to the end, Beka!

His words were my doom. I leaned over him, and held his hair, pulling them gently, as he went in and out at his edge. I could see a little of his saliva escaping through his mouth that could not be closed because of the moans.

I bit his neck which had a slightly salty taste due to sweat from the heat produced between our bodies. Even without the right angle, I pulled his mouth into mine. We couldn’t touch our lips, so we let our tongues do the work.

My heart was pounding so hard it seemed like I was going to explode. But with each beat, my cock pulsed begging for more.

\- Beka! Beka! BEKA !!!

Yuri was almost there. I couldn’t reach his cock, so I kissed his neck and his ear. Wet sounds, moans and screams filled the room.  
Fuck the neighbors!

\- Yura! Come with me!

\- Then fuck me fast and deep!

And I thought I was in charge... I would always be a puppet of his desires. And I would do it with pleasure.

I held it and stocked it with all the strength and speed I could. Lost in pleasure, it was all we felt at that moment.

\- Beka! I’m com...

\- Come on, love!

We came at the same time, in a synchrony of pulsations that made our bodies tremble and relax. I got out of Yura. He lay down on the couch and I stood beside him.

We were silent for a while. I felt very close to Yuri, did he feel that way too?

\- Did you called me love?

Was it a problem? Come to think of it, we were not even dating. I guess we were not that close yet...

\- Sorry if that bothered you, Yura. I promise that won’t happen again.

My heart ached a little as I realized that perhaps my feelings were deeper than his. He warned me, but still...  
I got up and went to the bathroom in his room.

\- Hey, Beka! Where are you going?

\- I need to take a shower, Yura. I'll be back.

The truth is I needed some time alone. I wouldn’t let Yura see me sad right after such a hot fuck.

I wish it hadn’t been a fuck. I wish we had made love.

Yuri POV

 

Was it my impression or was Otabek acting a little strange?  
I was a bit embarrassed that he called me "love." I mean... I like him. But this kind of love is something out of my reality.

I love my grandfather, I love Yuuri. What was so different about Beka?

My grandfather is my Agape. Yuuri, my Philos. What was Beka for me? My heart had already two. Would there be room for three? If I keep hiding how I feel, I'm going to hurt him. I need to tell him. No more omissions. I need to trust Otabek.

I got up and walked to my room. Without knocking on the door, I went into the bathroom and in the haze of the hot bath, I found Otabek sitting on the edge of the tub, with slightly red eyes. I couldn’t see that scene and be okay with that. I ran and hugged him.

\- Beka! I’m so sorry! I'm an idiot!

He looked at me with an expressionless look.

\- I know what you feel, and unlike me, you have the courage to be sincere about your feelings.

\- Yura?

\- I-I like you, Otabek. Not as family or friend. I like the man I met. You're decided, sensitive, intelligent, and hot as fuck! How could I not like you? I don’t know what love is, Beka. I really don’t. And it scares me to think about it, because of the reasons you already know. But if I’m going to find out what it is, I want it to be with you!

Otabek pulled me into the tub and kissed me like crazy. There wasn’t much room left for words. Our mouths were too busy telling each other how we felt.

We spent the rest of the night fucking and making love at the same time.  
Now I knew. Otabek was my eros, and inside me, there were 3 hearts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, again! Did you like it? Let me know!
> 
> I hope you continue to support this work! See you next time! <3


	12. I can't help falling in love with you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys!!!
> 
> I wasn't feeling well this week. I thought of giving up my story. Everything went so shitty in my life in just one week...   
> But I remembered that what I like most is writing, so, I ended up writing this chapter, that is now my favourite. 
> 
> I really want to thank you for reading this, even though just a few of you leaves comments and kudos, I know you like it because of the numbers of hits. So, as always, I really want to thank you guys for supporting this fanfic. It is all for you. 
> 
> Hope you like it!

For the first time in my life I opened my eyes in the morning and saw someone lying with me. His face lay quietly on my little bed. Otabek was such a sight. His whole body was angular and defined. His skin was so beautiful that it made me shiver.

We fucked in the living room, in the kitchen, in the bedroom, and even in the laundry room. I had sex with him all night. No. We made love. And it was no wonder that my body now complained about the demands I made. It was obvious that our relationship was no longer just friendship. We were ingrained, as I never imagined possible.  
With all those thoughts going through my head, I decided to get up before I ended up jumping onto him again.

As I set my feet on the floor, I realized that it was a bad idea to use the dining table. The muscles of my leg have been stretched to the maximum... Otabek is gentle and rough with me, and I can’t lie that I like.

I smiled at the memories, and headed for the kitchen. With my cell phone in hand, I decided that I wanted to listen to music. Why? I have no idea. I put any morning playlist. I felt so alive, so full of energy!

I made coffee and made some bread to eat. It wasn’t as elaborate as the breakfast he had made for me in his house, but it was the best I could offer without having made purchases.

I was waiting for the coffee machine to stop, when I felt arms around me, hugging me with all the affection that a hug could convey.

\- Good morning, Yura!

\- You like to surprise me, don’t you?

\- It's basically what I like to do these days.

\- Let's have coffee, then! It won’t be a big deal, I didn’t do any shopping this week.

\- As if I care. You know what I want for breakfast...

\- Your pervert! I can barely stand up! How can you still think about it?

Beka silent me with a light kiss on my lips.

\- Let's have some coffee, Yura!  
He said winking at me.

Beka spent all his time staring at me, as if to say something, but he didn’t know how. When we finished, I decided to ask:

\- What's the matter, Otabek? Do you want to tell me something?

\- Er... Are you on vacation?

\- Yes.

\- Do you want to have dinner with me on Tuesday?

\- Tuesday is a holiday, right? Let's go!

A smile so beautiful appeared on his face... It looked like a child receiving a present.

\- Right then!

\- Hey, Beka!!! WE MUST CLEAN THE HOUSE.

\- Hahahahaha! Especially the dining table and the sofa.

\- We'll never do such a thing again!

\- If the problem is with cleaning, we can do it in my house...

\- Imagine only my grandfather coming in and seeing things like this? He was going to get angry.

\- Don’t worry, Yura. Let's clean it up.

We spent the rest of the morning cleaning the house. Being the fabric sofa especially difficult to clean.

\- Beka! Help me! I don’t think I'm going to be able to clear this spot of semen from here.

\- You're talking to the wrong person, Yura. I've never been in this situation before.

\- OMG! How am I going to explain this to my grandfather?

\- Let's ask to the father of all donkeys.

\- The dictionary?

\- No, Yura! Google.

\- What did you put in the research? How to clean semen from fabric?

\- Surprisingly, yes. You have to throw some acetic acid on the spot.

\- Right! And where do I get this?

\- Vinegar.

I ran to the refrigerator, picked up the bottle of vinegar and in my desperation, poured the content almost entirely onto the sofa.

\- Yura! It didn’t have to be the whole bottle!

\- I-I didn’t know...

\- Calm down! Let's fix this. Do you have baking soda?

\- Is that what you use in cakes?

\- Yes. Take whatever you have and leave it on the kitchen table. If you could get a hair dryer too...

\- Right!

I went to my room and picked up the dryer. When I returned, I saw that Otabek made some kind of mixture with the baking soda in the water. He threw the mixture in the place where I had spilled the vinegar. The stench was slowly fading. Until there was only a very slight smell of vinegar coming from the sofa.

\- Dry the sofa, Yura. I think the worst is over.

More relieved, I did as he said. I wouldn’t even ask how he'd gotten it, I was just grateful it was over.

\- Thanks, Beka!

\- At your service, sir.

We finished cleaning and we were pretty tired.

\- I have to go, Yura...

\- Are you sure?

I made a cat face, trying to seduce him to stay longer.

\- Yes. I have some urgent business to do.

\- Okay then...

\- Hey Hey! Don’t make that face sad. We'll meet on Tuesday, and I promise I'll make it up for today's absence.

I groaned our bodies and mouths, wishing more than anything that Tuesday would come soon.

 

Otabek POV

 

I had a million doubts about how I would do that. It certainly would not be easy to please him, but I would try.

When I got home, I had to listen to LO's complaints about my absence. Fortunately, I've left plenty of food for her, and I'll probably always have to do it that way.

\- I know, I know... You don’t have to be so loud. I'll bring you a present next time. So, do you forgive me?

She looked suspiciously at me, but she calmed down over time.

I went to the bedroom, took a shower and started my research. I just had today to solve everything. Tomorrow I would have a full day at the University, which would prevent me from making any kind of preparation. Also, Tuesday was a perfect day for what I was planning.

I never thought I would enjoy a holiday so much.  
I turned on the computer and started the search. I had to think about the first part. There were lots of options in the results, none of them looked very promising, so I had to read them all and check the one that sounded less annoying. Surely it would be uncomfortable, but I would do that for Yura. The second part of the research was much more enjoyable. He wouldn’t like anything expensive, so I had to be creative. I was nervous in anticipation... I couldn’t do everything by myself, I would have to ask for a little help. I picked up my cell phone and dialed the number.

\- Hello?

\- Otabek?

\- Victor, I need a big favor from you and your boyfriend...

(Tuesday)

 

Yuri POV

Somehow, Beka seemed nervous confirming our meeting time on the phone. He told me to get well dressed. Are we going to an expensive restaurant? I would hate that... But I would do as he asked. I would have to trust him about it.  
I put on a mustard shirt and a black blazer on top, black jeans and my boots. Surely, I was stylish and well-dressed wherever we went. I tied my hair in a bun, just as I did when we first went out. The perfume was the last piece.

As I waited for Otabek, my stomach turned with anxiety. I wanted to see him. I wanted to hug him.

I received his message. He was at the door. I took a deep breath and went to meet him, passing by my grandfather, who was watching television in the living room. As I opened the door, I was invaded by his wonderful scent and his warm gaze. He was the description of perfection, dressed in a blazer as well. So, I did what I wanted so badly. I hugged him with all my might, and in the same way, I was embraced.

\- It's all right! Pretend I'm not here!  
My grandfather said with a laughing tone.

\- Good evening, Nikolai!

\- We're going, Grandpa! I'll be back tomorrow.

\- Have fun as true "friends" that you are... You two look very handsome. Have a great night.

\- Thank you!  
We said in unison, causing us to burst into laughter.

\- "Friends"...  
My grandfather muttered from the corner of his mouth, and we finally left.

We got in the car and I asked:

\- Where are we going, Beka?

\- Let's have dinner somewhere near my house.

\- Is this going to be expensive?

\- No.

\- Ok, then. Let's go!

Suddenly, his cell phone rang. Beka looked anxious.

\- Hi.

The voice on the other line seemed familiar, but it was too low for me to recognize.

\- Right. I'm going.  
Beka hung up, making a grimace of irritation.

\- Yura, a problem has arisen at the secondary observatory. I'll have to solve it, but it should only take me 15 minutes there. Would you wait me? Then we can go straight to the restaurant.

\- Right, no problem.

We went to the observatory and on the way, Beka looked more and more nervous. His hands seemed to shake a bit on the steering wheel. I decided not to ask anything this time, it was probably about the problem at the observatory. Maybe it was more serious than he let it show.

We arrived at the first destination. Otabek took my hand, and led me to him. We entered the building and headed for the secondary observatory room. He pulled the keys from his pocket and unlocked the thick door.

\- You first, Yura.

I wasn’t understanding, but would do as he told me. I opened the door. Certainly, I wasn’t prepared for that.

The spacious room was completely lit by candles all over its circumference. Light music reverberated through space. There was a small table for two beside the telescope.

\- B-Beka? What is this?

\- I wanted to do something special for you, Yura. Let's go? Our receptionist is finishing up the food.

I was so amazed that there were no words in my mouth. I was just smiling and nodding. We sat at the table, and once more I was surprised.

I saw Yuuri approaching with a bottle of wine, formally dressed as a waiter.

\- Y-Yuuri? What are you doing here?

\- I'm just helping a friend. Forget I'm here and focus on your date.

Again, I nodded. Otabek was so careful about everything and even asked Yuuri for help... It wasn’t possible that he was so perfect. It felt like I was living a movie scene.

\- Shall we eat, Yura?

Yuuri served us a ravioli, just like I cooked at Otabek’s house. We eat silently. I just could not say anything. Beka seemed to blush with each encounter of our eyes. He still looked nervous. As we finished, Yuuri reappeared and announced:

\- My services are over for today.

He kissed my head and said:

\- Good luck, Otabek.

Soon after, he disappeared from our sight.

\- Er... Yura, I want to show you something.

He took my hand again and led me to the telescope deck.

\- Look through the lens, Yura.

I positioned myself to look and saw a million stars. Among them, a different form was pronounced. It was certainly the most beautiful sight, after naked Otabek.

\- What do you see, Yura? 

\- There are a million stars here, Beka. But one of them is different, it looks like a disc.

\- It is not a star. What do you think it might be?

\- I have no idea ... No! Wait! I think I've seen in some science program on TV. Is it a galaxy?

\- Yes! This is Andromeda. It is 2,537,000 light-years from Earth.

\- Wow! This is incredible, Otabek!

\- Wait, I'm going to zoom in.

The image widened, and I could see the galaxy even more clearly. It was a wonderful feeling to see with my own eyes the grandeur of the Universe.

\- We are really very small in front of the whole Universe that surrounds us...

\- Yes, Yura. We are less than the fragment of a point. But still, here we are. We met even against all odds. Who would say that one bump in the Cafe would lead us here?

I removed my eyes from the telescope and turned to face him.

\- Beka?

\- What I mean is... I never thought it was possible, in a world of infinite probabilities, to find someone by whom I felt what I now feel. Maybe I’m rushing. Maybe things are even more complicated than I realize. But I want you to know...

My heart pounded and pumped with all my might to my brain and my extremities.

\- I love you, Yura. It's the only way I can express my feelings for you. Do you wanna date me?

For a moment I felt without floor. And not in a bad way. My heart finally accepted the meaning of my feelings for Otabek as well. I felt the same way.

\- I was so reluctant to accept... You know. But I’m done lying to myself. I love you too! I want to date with you, Beka!

Otabek pulled me to him and kissed me. That kiss was the sealing of our commitment. It wasn’t a calm kiss, it was a mixture of our nervousness with the need to be close. Our tongues intertwined like a dip in the sea, deep and deep.

My breath failed, causing Beka to look at me, ceasing our kiss. He reached a control from somewhere and a familiar melody played. I was taken again by your embrace.

\- Dance with me, Yura?

I nodded, putting my head on his shoulder. I felt his strong arms leading us to the rhythm of the music. Elvis Presley's voice rattled the speakers.

"Wise men say only fools rush in.  
But I can't help falling in love with you"

We dance until the music is over. Our hearts beat as one. We belonged. Just us and no one else.

\- Yura... Now that we're dating, officially, I want...

\- What is it, Beka? You can ask me whatever you want.

\- I want you to... I want you to make me yours, Yura. The same way I made you mine. I want you to come into me, I want you to own me the way you own my heart.

I was stunned by that statement. I was never active, I didn’t know what it would be like, but I would try. We were both willing to give all for each other.

\- Beka! I-I’ll do! I'll do anything for you or for us. I'll make you feel pleasure, and you'll know how good I feel when you’re with me.

\- Come on, Yura! The night is just beginning.

Otabek smiled at me and took me to his car, where we went to his house.

I didn’t know what the rest of the night would be, but I couldn’t expect anything less than perfection.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oy oy!
> 
> What do you think of this chapter? Beka uke? What is Victor doing while they were at the observatory?
> 
> We'll see next week...
> 
> See ya! <3


	13. December 25th

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, guys!
> 
> It's been a while since I last posted. I'm really sorry about that, I had a creativity block.   
> But, I think things are going back to normal. So... Here's a little Christmas Extra. I hope you guys like it!
> 
> As always, kudos, comments, bookmarks and subs are more than welcome. <3

For another year, we'd spend Christmas Eve together. Just me and my Yuratchka.

I started preparing the food for our little Christmas dinner. I would prepare it as always, in the traditional Christian way. Even though my Russian Orthodox childhood hadn’t give me the opportunity to celebrate with my family, I wanted to make sure that my grandson had every happy moment possible in his childhood. He’d already suffered too much.  
Seasoning the turkey as the main course, I couldn’t help but make my combo of dried fruit. It was what the little one liked the most. And yet I didn’t understand how a six-year-old could be so kind and stubborn.

\- Grandpa! I don’t want to eat raisins!

\- But, son, you love the dried fruit...

\- I don’t want raisins, I just want the others.

\- Today is a very special day, do you remember why?

\- Is it because it's Christmas?

\- Besides Christmas, what are we celebrating on December 25th? Can you remember?

Yura shook his head.

\- December 25th was the day I signed the papers of your adoption.

\- And I turned your little grandson?

\- Yes! It was the happiest day of my life!

\- Why, Grandpa?

\- Because you are the present that the shooting star has brought to me.

\- What is the shooting star? 

\- It's a star that passes in the sky like a pencil and then disappears, as if someone had erased. When we see one, we can ask something to it and it will be done.

\- And you asked me to be your grandson?

\- I asked him to bring to my life the person who would make me happy. Then, sometime later, I was in a volunteer work in an orphanage when I saw a boy with the most beautiful eyes I had ever seen.

\- It was me?

\- Yes! Little Yuri with soldier's eyes. I just couldn’t leave you there. So, I tried everything, I entered with all possible resources to get you adopted. A very kind judge allowed me to be your grandfather so that I could take care of you.

\- But what about your family, Grandpa?

\- My family was far from me. They didn’t want me because I was... Different. So, I had no place among them. But now I have you, and you have me. We are a family.

Yuri hugged me so willingly that even though I didn’t want to, I let out a few tears. I finished with that nostalgic mood, calling him to have an ice cream on that hot afternoon. Everything else was ready: the turkey baking, the salads ready, the desserts in the refrigerator, and the gifts under the tree. That would be the best Christmas!

We went out to the ice cream shop which was very crowded due to the heat and the people doing Christmas shopping in the stores. Yura loved to see the decorations and lights, because every year since I adopted him, we went out to admire Christmas decorations. Nothing could worth more than your smile and your eyes shining.  
As we walked, the sun was setting in our house’s direction. The sky varied from yellow to pink, passing through purplish blue to the darkest.

\- Look how beautiful the sky is today, Yura!

He looked up and I could see he was so immersed in the colors that his mouth opened.

\- Let's sit on the bench in the square to see.

Yuri only followed me and sat down. She stood looking up for several minutes as I watched his face mesmerized by the vision. I was wrenched from the silence when Yura burst into shouts:

\- Grandpa! Grandpa! Grandpa!

\- What happened, son?

\- I SAW THE SHOOTING STAR!

\- For real, son?

\- It was there in a moment, scratched the sky like a pencil and then disappeared!

\- This is amazing! Make a wish, Yuratchka!

He closed his eyes and made his request silently. If he didn’t want to say it out loud, I wouldn’t ask. His feelings and privacy would always be respected.

\- Let’s go, Yura?

\- Yes!

We held our hands and left for our home. When we arrived, we dressed, put on Christmas carols and ate supper together, like a complete and happy family. After, we went to open our gifts. Yura gave me a cup for the tea I always take before bed and I gave him a copy of The Hobbit, which, by the way, he loved, because before sleeping he stayed in bed reading for a long time.  
Feeling a bit tired for the long day, I sat in my rocking chair outside the house, sipping my tea in the cup I earned from my grandson.  
Life had smiled to me.  
Even with the abandonment of a traditional Russian family, I was happy. Even with the fact that everyone I loved turned their backs on me for liking someone who was as much a man as I was, I was happy. Even when this man married and had a beautiful family with a kind and gentle woman, I decided to be happy.  
The shooting star brought me Yuri, and I would do my best and even the impossible to make him happy too.

\- Grandpa?

\- Yuratchka, are you still awake?

\- I don’t want to keep secrets from you.

\- What do you want to tell me?

\- You know... I asked the star for something. But I do not think it's going to make my wish come true me because it must be wrong, since no one in my class is like that.

\- What did you ask for, my son?

\- I asked for the same as you. I asked the star to send me the person who was going to make me happy.

\- That's an excellent request, Yura.

\- But is it all right for the star if it's not a girl?

My heart sank. I was clearly not prepared for that question.  
If the star brought me Yuri, it was for a purpose. I would prepare myself, I would prepare him. My son would not suffer what I suffered. He wouldn’t be rejected as I was. He would find the happiness and understanding his family could give.

\- The star doesn’t care if it's a boy or a girl, son. All it will bring is happiness.

Yura hugged me for the second time in the day. The bells of the nearby churches played happily announcing that it was midnight and Christmas had come, bringing peace on earth to men of good will. And again, on December 25th I would have one more reason to remain happy.

\- I love you Grandpa! Merry Christmas!

\- Merry Christmas, Yuratchka!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys!
> 
> I'm so much happy that I could write this chapter. I loved to tell a little bit of Nikolai's past and his relationship with Yuri. I hope you liked too!
> 
> If you liked, please let me know in the comments.
> 
> See ya! <3


	14. Whatever you want

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, guys! 
> 
> I know it's been a while, but here we are again. At the end of the chapter, I will introduce the final stretch of the story. Hope you like it!
> 
> As always, kudos, comments and bookmarks are always welcome!
> 
> <3

I was dating someone. Not just dating someone, he was the most wonderful person on earth.

We were in his car, heading for his house. Otabek directed passionate glances at me as he drove. And I corresponded with ashamed looks, but as passionate as his.

\- If you don’t pay attention while driving, we'll have an accident before we get there.

\- I'm paying attention, Yura. Both on the street and you.

\- Thank you, Beka.

\- I'm glad you've enjoyed everything so far.

\- I don’t mean just today. Thanks for everything. From the day we met. Not too long ago, I know, but it meant too much to me.

Otabek was quiet, which made me apprehensive.

\- Beka?

He didn’t answer me, and made a sharp turn from the direction of his house, entering an alley. He parked his car and took off his seat belt.

\- Yura. You're right. I don’t know if I can drive under the conditions I'm in.

\- What happened?

\- You, Yura! Since you came into my life. Everything... Everything is so much better! Even the smallest, most irrelevant things become important, fun, beautiful.

I haven’t even had a chance to respond. Beka stepped out of his seat and sat on top of me in the passenger seat, causing me to be unresponsive. He stuck his fingers into my bun and with his other hand, he burrowed into my blazer and shirt, all while staring into my eyes.

\- I want you, Yuri. I want you now and I know I can’t have you. But our night is just beginning, and I'll show you a little of what's going to happen.

Otabek clutched his body at me, making our mouths slither, but they didn’t touch. He pulled my hair back gently, exposing my pale neck, and immediately attacked it with his mouth. They were bites and kisses with the simple intention of making me horny. I could barely breathe. His cock grazed mine, making it clear that our intentions with each other were primal.

\- B-Beka, let's go to your house...

\- Right.

He returned to his seat, replaced his seat belt, and took over again. I looked in the rearview mirror, my face was so red that I looked more like a tomato. That was the Otabek Effect. He could make me float in the clouds and then descend to the lower desires. The rest of the way was silent, but the sexual tension between us was very clear.

Upon arriving in his building, I looked into Otabek's eyes. They seemed darker than usual, as if they were hiding something that would soon be revealed. The touch of his hand on mine was warmer than before. He exuded desire and passion.

We took the elevator. It was a mistake, certainly. Even before the door closed, my instincts spoke louder and simply attacked Beka with all my might. I grabbed his waist and pulled him to me. I bit her lower lip and sucked to ease the pain. He was mine.

I heard the elevator signal, indicating that we had arrived on the sixth floor, however, Otabek lived in the seventh. I stopped our kiss quickly, someone would come in. We looked at each other, still panting, waiting for the door to open. To our surprise, a familiar face entered the tight space. It was the neighbor downstairs.

\- Good evening.  
Said Otabek with a super sexy smile on his face.

I'd even be jealous if he wasn’t looking at me. The woman was so embarrassed that her reply came out as a whisper.

\- H-Hi…

We finally reached the seventh floor, but Beka held the elevator door and said to the neighbor,

\- Just to be warned, I'll try to be the least noisy I can tonight, but I cannot guarantee I'll make it. It's better for the children to sleep earlier today...

The woman was totally paralyzed in the corner of the elevator and simply nodded. As the door closed, we heard a hysterical scream, just like the other time.

\- These yaoi fans...  
I said, trying to suppress the laughter.

\- What?

\- Forget it, Beka.

\- Stay there. Don’t leave the place.

He went to the door, unlocked it, and ran back to me. I was caught in his lap, without being able to protest.

\- Let’s go, Yura?

I nodded, and he led me to his apartment. Otabek certainly knew how to impress. The whole house was filled with beautiful scented candles and I could hear a song coming from the home theater. On the coffee table in the room, a bottle of wine and two glasses were positioned.

\- B-Beka, how did you do all this?

\- I had help from Victor and Yuuri for everything I planned.

\- But didn’t they have their own business?

\- They agreed you deserved an unforgettable night.

He led me to the couch, positioning me gently. But he didn’t sit with me. He filled a glass of wine, took a sip, and removed his blazer. My breathing became uneven, my body warm as ember.

Beka took off her blouse, making me go crazy with her sight. He lifted the glass to his mouth and poured himself another sip.

\- Will not you let me taste the wine?

He approached, doing as he did in the car. He sat on me and kissed me, making me taste the wine directly from his mouth. The scent made me delirious under his tongue, which in turn explored every corner of my mouth with all the softness and depth. All I could feel was his touch and the burning of my heart.

\- Yuri, let's go to my room.

\- Wait, Beka. Today I have you, without restrictions, right?

He nodded.

\- So, let's play a little...

I took advantage of his surprise and attacked his neck. I filled him with kisses and caresses. I wanted him to feel good. I would do everything possible to make him like his first time as passive. No way would he go through what I went.

I took off my blazer, and my shirt. Now our bodies were in contact, even if only in our chest. I would never be tired of that feeling. I took his glass of wine and spilled some of the wine on his collarbone and watched as it ran down his body to the inside of his pants.

\- Yura, what do you want?

\- Whatever you allow me, Beka.

\- Then you should know by now that I'm all yours. Body, soul, thoughts. All. Do whatever you want with me.

 

Otabek POV

 

Yuri began sucking all the places the wine had gone through. My nipples, my abdomen, my navel. His hot tongue was like a katana. Precise. Soft. Dangerous.

\- Take off the rest of the clothes. I need you doggy style for me. Trust me?

What was going on in that little head?

\- I trust.

I took off my pants and my underwear and did as he told me. It was a strange feeling to be watched that way, without knowing what was going to happen.

\- Close your eyes, Beka, and focus only on what I'm going to do. Enjoy the sensations and try to relax.

I nodded, even as anxious about what lay ahead. I closed my eyes and allowed myself to be completely controlled by Yura.

\- Open your mouth.

I did.  
I felt his lips touch my lower lip. Slowly, the wine was poured into my mouth through his. More delicious than the wine itself that passed through my papillae, was his taste. After pouring everything, I swallowed the wine and was taken by his mouth. It wasn’t just a kiss. Yura bit my lips with the right pressure to make me feel pain and then relieved with slight licks.

\- Beka, if you could see through my eyes how beautiful you are...  
Yura said, biting the earlobe.

His compliment sent a surge of heat through my body. I got hard immediately.

\- You like it, don’t you? You like me to praise you. You like to feel loved.

\- Yura...

My cock began to drip. It was so easy to lose control like that.

\- I know, Beka. I'll show you how I feel about you.

It came from close to my ear. Still with my eyes closed, I waited for his next move. Then his hands worked on my ass, squeezing my muscles, nibbling all over and sucking right away.

\- Beka, let me kiss you here...  
Yura said, opening my sides.

Before I could think of anything, he made me dive into the feel of his tongue in my most intimate part. If I thought it was good to kiss him there, being kissed was 30 times better, which explained his overreaction. His soft muscle surrounded my entrance, making me gulp dry.

Sensing my positive reaction, Yura began to slowly move in and out, pulling out a groan that must have been heard by the entire building.

\- Yuraa, touch me!

I don’t know what he did, but when he heard my desperate request, one of his hands went to my cock. Skillfully, his palm and fingers slid down my length as waves of pleasure crashed against my body.

\- Otabek, let's make love.  
Yura said, holding my hand on the sofa.

The hair that looked like gold strands fell through his face, I took them out with my fingers, revealing the desire reflected in himself. His lips were red and glowing, which made me advance instantly, kissing him with every intent as he pulled him into my lap to carry him to my room.

When we arrived, Yura couldn’t hide his expression of happiness. Vic had done a great job with the colorful freesias, scattering them all over the room with the candles.

\- Beka, this is beautiful! I love freesias!

\- I know you do.

\- I feel like a bad boyfriend for not knowing what you like.

\- It's not fair to think like that. Yuuri helped me with that too.

\- I won’t be left behind, then. I'll find out what you like...

I was pushed into bed gently, while Yura opened my legs. I saw his head sliding between them and I felt his mouth sink into my cock. It was almost impossible not to scream. I was panting loudly, and he responded by licking my glans, separating the small opening with his tongue.

\- Yuraa!

His movements ceased as he removed the rest of his clothing and reached for the lubricant and the condom left on the bedside table.  
I looked at his face and for the first time in the night I felt his hesitation.

\- What happened, Yura?

\- It's... I just... I've never worn a condom before.

\- Then let me teach you...  
I spoke in his ear.

I took his mouth in mine in an unrestrained kiss, while with closed eyes, opened the package, removed the condom, tightened the tip and unwound it on his protruding member.

I lay down again, but kept the vision of everything. His greased fingers roamed my anus, and my head just plummeted back. Yuri seemed more determined than ever.

\- Can I put a finger on you, Beka?

\- Yes...

I felt his finger creep in slowly. I thought it wouldn’t feel good right away, but the fine finger massaged me so hotly, leaving me no time to think too much.

\- Hmm...

\- Want more, Beka?

\- Uhm!

A second finger was introduced. This time it was a bit uncomfortable to feel my walls being widened so suddenly. I think it was easy to see my discomfort. Yura stopped moving his fingers and with his other hand reached my face. He was warm and his touch comfortable. I could be immersed in that sensation for hours.

\- You may go, Yura... I think I can handle.

He took what I said seriously, moving his fingers in and out, until I got used to it. His fingers began to open and close slightly, to prepare me for himself.

However, nothing could explain the tremor that ran through my body. Yura touched me somewhere that made my back arch against my will.

\- Ahh! Yura!

\- Yes! Feel it! Just feel!

He rubbed his fingers again. Maybe it was the best feeling of my life. Yura removed his fingers and climbed over me, looking into my eyes.

\- Can I?

\- Make me yours. More than I already am.

His cock was positioned against me, and he began to penetrate me slowly, breaking my initial resistance.  
It was hard to breathe. No, more than that. It was hard to believe that I could feel so many things at once. Pain, cold, heat, pleasure and excitement.

Yuri stuck his tongue in my mouth as he tried to enter me, muffling my agonized moan as I felt his cock snatching me. It was too much for me. I didn’t know how much more I could bear.

\- Bekaa! You’re so hot!

\- I-It hurts!

\- I’ll take it off. The important thing is that you feel good.

\- No! I want you, Yura! Just give me some time...

I didn’t even notice when a few warm drops began to trickle down the sides of my eyes. It wasn’t just pain. I couldn’t handle all the other sensations. We spent time like that, kissing and waiting for my body to get used to it.

When I felt a little better, I asked him to keep coming at me. They were tiny movements, showing that Yura cared more for me than for his own pleasure.

Until he reached that place. I screamed as I felt totally filled and stimulated in my prostate.

\- A little stronger!

I felt his movement cautious seek my pleasure point. His abdomen dragged into my already extremely wet member with my arousal, he hugged me so tightly that my body couldn’t even move.

My head was spinning. There was almost no pain at all, now pleasure dominated me. Yura left my mouth and now looked at my face. His green eyes sparkled with the reflection of the candles, it was as if he wanted to tell me something. But I couldn’t bear it for long, I would enjoy feeling Yura inside me.

I closed my eyes, looking for more. More heat, more pleasure, more...

\- I love you, Otabek.

I had a violent spasm while coming myself panting and biting my own finger. A shot in my chest would have been softer than his words. I felt his cock pounding inside me and his voice rising.

\- And I love you!

Yura also came when he recognized that he loved me.

He stepped out from inside me, and lay down beside me, his hand again on my face. I was so tired that the last memory of the night was his green eyes watching me, while sleep quickly abated me.

I woke up in the morning with no idea what time it was. My cell phone haven’t ring and the only sound I heard was Yuri's snoring beside me. Thankfully Victor had dismissed me for today, so I could enjoy the rest of the day with Yura.

I sat on the bed and realized that it wasn’t a very good idea to have asked to be fucked "a little stronger”. My bottom hurt, and I would have to take painkillers. But every moment has paid off. Now I understood the pleasure of being passive, of surrendering control to the person you love, of feeling taken and possessed. Yura was wonderful at everything, I was very lucky for that.

\- Beka?

\- Good morning, blondie!

\- You're very excited... It's still early morning.

\- Then go back to sleep.

\- Come here with me.

\- Whatever you want.

We lay together, sharing the warmth and tenderness between our bodies for a long time, without saying anything, until Yura broke the silence.

\- When I was little, I used to believe in lots of things.

\- What kind of things?

\- In Santa Claus, Tooth Fairy and even in Hobbits. But there was one particular belief in which I believed without doubting.

\- What would it be?

\- There was a Christmas when my grandfather and I went to have ice cream and I saw a shooting star.

I laughed a little at that. I've never had very intimate contact with these kinds of superstitions.

\- Hey! No laughing in my face! I don’t believe in these childish things anymore.

\- Sorry, Yura. I didn’t mean to offend you. It's just that I don’t understand much of it.

\- Anyway... My grandfather said I could make a request.

\- What did you ask?

\- I asked to find the person who was going to bring me happiness.

\- And the star brought you what you asked for?

\- I don’t believe in fairy tales anymore, Beka. I know life is much grayer than it looks. Sometimes we are happy, sometimes sad. What matters is the feeling that stays the most.

\- Are you happy, Yura?

"I went through very sad times. I really came to think that I would never find happiness with anyone. But, apparently, I was mistaken.

\- I don’tcare if it was the star or not. Whether through the stars, or probability, we are together. That's what matters.

\- I'll tell you again, Beka. If it wasn’t clear before, I’m going to say again. I love you. I'm very happy with you.

\- I love you too, Yura.

I stroked his scented hair until he fell asleep again. I kissed his shoulder and got up to take a shower. I needed to, it was a quick shower, though.

After dressing in one of my sweatpants, I went into the living room. The candles had been completely consumed, but the wine stain on the couch remained. I'd have to call a professional to clean it up. As I headed toward the kitchen, I passed the front door and saw an envelope on the floor addressed to me.

That's weird. The mail stays at the concierge, why was it there?

I took it to check. There wasn’t the name of who sent it, only mine. I opened the envelope and pulled out the contents. My stomach twisted in every possible way. My eyelids moved very fast as a way of demonstrating that my brain couldn’t assimilate the information I received.

They were several photos.

Yura on doggy style for that sick guy. He was burying himself inside, with an evil grin on his face. Yura with an animal's tail, bandaged, gagged. It could only be classified as evil. Everything I heard from his mouth, materializing into images in front of me.

I ran to the kitchen, took the scissors, and pecked all the photos. My rage spilled over every pore. If what JJ wanted was a war, he would have, and I would not play fair either. Someone would be hurt a lot in that, and it wouldn’t be Yuri. I would solve this situation today.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!!! 
> 
> Did you like it? Let me know in the comments!
> 
> See ya! <3


	15. Intelligence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, guys! 
> 
> I know is been some time. I'm really sorry, I had problems and College things. But, I'm going to update until chapter 17 in the next days, and also my other story "I Met Somebody". I really hope you guys like it, because things are getting dense. We are next to the end.
> 
> As always, thanks for the kudos, comments and bookmarks. Love you guys!

It was a really good day.  
I slept so much I felt uncomfortable staying in bed any longer. I looked at the time on my cell phone. Almost two in the afternoon? I slept more than a hibernating bear. The Otabek’s bed was practically paradise for those who like to sleep, even more with the smell of the freesia that flooded the room.

I don’t think I could be any luckier. Everything Beka did was incredible. Dinner at the observatory, the sight in the telescope, the dance, the return home. The sex. Everything was so perfect that it seemed out of a story. My limb betrayed me as I recalled the moments I had experienced last night. The feeling of being in control was wonderful. To see him get lost because of me, moan and moan because I was possessing him. The pressure, the heat. Beka is perfect until when he surrenders to me.

I got dressed and went looking for him in the living room, but what I found was a platinum-long-haired guy holding a cat in his lap, caressing her.

\- V-Victor?

\- Good afternoon, Yurio.

I didn’t want to be rude by asking what he was doing there, because me and Otabek were supposed to spend the day together.

\- Have you seen Otabek?

\- He had to solve some urgent problems, but he must come back soon.

\- Okay then.

\- I know you must be wondering why I'm here.

\- I don’t…

\- I came to leave the cat. But I think she clung to me. I was sorry to leave LO without company while waiting for Otabek.

\- Hey! I'm a company!

\- But you don’t know LO as I do. Anyway, I'll stay here until he comes back, don’t worry, I won’t disturb the rest of your day.

\- You're not in the way of anything, Victor. And I must say that I am grateful.

\- Why?

\- For helping me at Yuuri's house. For having prepared things here in the apartment last night.

\- It was nothing. I had never seen Otabek so happy in my life. You make him happy and he deserves to be happy.

\- I want to make him happy.

\- You deserve too, Yuri. I know you went through bad things. Everybody deserves to be happy.

Smile. It wasn’t difficult to identify with Victor. He was sincere and spoke directly.

\- Thank you. I'm going to have coffee. Will you have some?

\- For now, I'll be happy with a cup of coffee.

\- Right. I'm going to make the recipe that Beka taught me, though, notice I'm a rookie.

\- No problem.

I went into the kitchen and began to prepare things as Beka had taught me. The water was almost boiling, so I began to strain the coffee. It smelled as good as the day Otabek did for me. As soon as I finished everything, I put away the utensils and went to throw the residue of the dust in the trash. To my surprise, I found a piece of colored paper on the floor next to the trash, which stood out from the rest of the kitchen flawlessly and with everything in place. I bent down to pick it up and throw it in the trash.

But like anything in my life, every second was the imminence of a disaster. I could recognize that jaguar's tail anywhere in the world, but I needed a confirmation. I opened the trash, even knowing what I would find, and for the first time, I wasn’t desperate. The whole situation was clear in my mind as I saw those papers chopped into the trash can. Of course, it was the photos Jean took of me, no doubt about it.

\- Victor. Where did Otabek go?  
I asked quietly, while my insides screamed.

\- He didn’t tell me, I just said he was fixing some problems.

\- Then I'll go look for him at the University.

\- Look, I don’t think that's a good idea, Yuri. He must be coming back already.

He was watching me, for sure. Otabek certainly asked Victor to take care of me so I wouldn’t leave. I even tried to control myself, but it didn’t work for long.

\- Don’t lie to me. I'll give you a chance to tell me the truth. Where did Otabek go?

\- I already told you I don’t know. He just asked me to stay here with you and not let you leave.

\- He's in danger, Victor! Last Thursday when I had that crisis, it was because Jean threatened me, and worse, he threatened Otabek as well.

\- What did he say?

\- He told us to separate, but he didn’t say what would happen if we didn’t obey. He went after Jean. No doubt. You got my pictures of when we were together, and he must have decided to confront him.

Victor seemed to wonder about the possibilities.

\- I cannot leave him in danger, and so my grandfather. I'll need your help, I need to find him and tell him.

\- Don’t be so naive, Plisetsky. Otabek knows very well that JJ threatened you. If he has been settling things, it is for his own protection. He didn’t want me to show you, but given the situation, I think you must know.

Victor gave me a very small paper, in which it was written in italics:

“Let the games begin. Will you be able to protect him?”

I fell on the floor of the room almost incredulous. Why was he doing that? JJ had never tried anything before. I was failing at all alternatives to understand what he was planning and his hidden motives. My hands trembled with nervousness, but it was no longer a crisis of irrational panic, it was the pure fear that Otabek or my grandfather might be in danger, for there was no way to know what kinds of evil were going on in Jean's mind.

\- Unfortunately, I cannot let you out of here, Yuri. Otabek said your safety was the priority.

\- Fuck what Beka wants! I can’t let my grandfather and my boyfriend be in danger because I havn’t been able to tell them that there is a psycho chasing me.

\- I don’t know what you're planning, Yuri, but anything you try to do now can make it worse. Stay calm and trust Otabek.

Without thinking twice, I went out the door and tried to open it. It was useless. My despair went up one level. I was enraged at being under surveillance and afraid that something even worse would happen.

I decided to try to call Beka, even though I knew that the chances of him responding were minimal. The call dropped into the mailbox. I had no way of knowing if he was all right unless he contacted me himself. I had to know if my grandfather was well. I tried the home phone, and no one answered. The worst thing is that I didn’t know if this was good or bad. My grandfather's insistence on not having a cell phone, now quickly killed me with worry.

I felt 100% impotent and it was all my fault.

 

OTABEK POV

 

I finally got the data I needed on that maniac. I drove toward the downtown, though I couldn’t stop shaking with rage. Seeing those pictures gave me a little notion of how much Yura suffers from his past, and by no means would I let him hurt himself again. I know he's going to be mad at me for leaving Victor to watch over him, but I also know he's impulsive enough to want to come after me for worrying too much. I wouldn’t risk Jean finding him purposely or accidentally. My main option now is to use intelligence. I am not a violent person, but if it is to protect who I love, I do whatever is necessary.

Finally, I arrived at the designated building. My meeting with the "Oracle" would cost me a lot of money. I entered the commercial building, went up to the 16th floor and was greeted by an attendant. She led me into the waiting room and said:

\- Mrs. Mila will see you.

Mila? Was the Oracle a woman?

A door in front of me opened and I saw a young fond redhead, dressed as an executive.

\- You can come in, Otabek.

I entered the room, which was rather sober. There was many dark wood furniture, antique objects adorned the shelves. And in the center of the room was her desk with a simple notebook on top.

\- Please sit.

\- Thank you.

\- Anyway, did you bring the information I asked for?

\- Yes. Everything I got is in that envelope.

\- Right. And what kind of service are you looking for today? Confidential information? Passwords?

\- I think it would be more like a work of infiltration and elimination.

\- Explain exactly what you have in mind.

\- I want to access all forms of online communication and that person's computer to delete certain files.

\- But you know that this data can still be saved in physical backup or the server itself of the form of communication that it uses.

\- I also want to delete these backups, if possible.

\- This service is three times the price, because I risk my IPs and ghost servers for which I can be exposed.

\- Tell me the price and we'll get it right. The important thing is that this be done as quickly as possible.

\- I imagine the situation is problematic...

\- Indeed, it is. There is a life at risk, and it is a life I do not want to risk.

\- Well, even if I delete the files from all possible backup media, you know I can’t do anything about physical copies, if any.

\- The important thing is that anything related to a blond guy is deleted. I will handle the physical copies myself today.

\- May I know his name? It can help me find the files.

\- The name is Yuri Plisetsky. If you find any photo, video or file on, delete immediately. Agreement closed?

\- Yes.

We closed the deal. I paid half the money in advance to pressure her to work as quickly as possible. Apparently, my plan was going well. Soon, all those damn pictures would be wiped out. However, I would still have to walk into Jean's house and erase any physical traces.

As I descended the elevator of the building, my mind wandered among all possibilities. Jean hurting Yura. I hurt Jean. Jean hurting me. The first one I managed to avoid at first. The other two would be virtually unavoidable. But why did I feel like I was forgetting something? I had to think like a maniac as well and that make me exhaust.

I finally got to the car. It was almost 3 in the afternoon and it seemed like I had been through the longest day of my life. I simply went in, turned on the air conditioning, and let my head rest on the steering wheel for a few minutes. My head was spinning a little and that's when I remembered that I hadn’t eaten anything during the day. I then decided to eat anything before heading to the undesirable place. After eating in a diner, I left for that sick man's house, uncertain of what was to come.

My thoughts floated as I drove the car almost instinctively. Without my noticing, I was already at the address I got at the University. I made sure to stop the car away from home, to avoid possible recordings. I put on a hat, sunglasses, changed my pants into shorts, and put on a battered white shirt. Besides the visual, I would have to disable it while I was looking for the photos. For that, I got a bottle of ethyl ether in the chemistry lab and a cloth. I gathered all the courage in me and rang the bell. No one answered the house, I would have to wait for him to arrive. I went back to the car and had to wait patiently.

I was very tired, and even my reasoning was impaired. But if I didn’t put my mind to work, it would be a matter of time until something worse happens. If I were Jean and wanted to reach someone who was inaccessible at the time, what would I do?

The answer hit me like lightning.

Finally, I turned on the cell phone, there were many missed calls and messages from Yuri, but I couldn’t distract myself now. He was safe with Vic. I dialed the number Yura had given me for emergency cases, hoping to be taken care of. No answer came from the other side. Shit!

I turned on the car and dashed off to Yuri's house. If that psycho couldn’t reach Yuri directly, his family was the next choice. I don’t know how I hadn’t thought about it before, because of course it was the most obvious choice. Protecting Yura wasn’t just about his physical integrity, but about his emotional integrity as well. All he's done so far has been taking advantage of Yuri's panic, and attacking his grandfather was the easiest way to force a rapprochement between them.

My cell phone rang, taking me out of my abstraction. It was an unknown number. Was it him? I answered the call on the loudspeaker.

\- Otabek?  
Said a female voice.

\- Who is it?

\- This is Mila. I went ahead with the service, given its urgency, but I think I now understand why. I think you should know what I found out.

\- Any information is valuable now.

\- There are a lot of files about this Yuri. The older ones are recordings of a very uncomfortable sex scene and photos as well.

\- The oldest?

\- Yes. There are 3 folders on Yuri, each one referring to a year, until the year we are. They are pictures of normal moments like him sitting on a bench in college, drinking coffee and doing other activities, always accompanied by the same black-haired boy. Perhaps the most frightening thing is that Yuri was being watched home, in and out.

That crazy been watching Yuri all this time! But why only now he made his move?

\- This year's folder contains pictures of the two of you. In public places, and also coming in and out of an apartment, which I imagine to be yours. In addition, there are also photos of an old man who apparently lives with Yuri.

\- It makes no sense. He could have tried something against Yuri from long before...

\- If you want to predict what this guy is going to do, you're going to have to work harder than that. Psychotic people don’t act according to reason, and that is their fault. But if this one of Jean Jacques is crazy, he is a crazy well-informed and meticulous.

\- Thank you for the information.

\- I'll finish my job as soon as possible. Good luck.

The call was closed, and I was arriving at Yuri's house, wishing with all my strength that Nikolai was at the chess club and not at home.  
I got out of the car and ran to the house gate. It was unlocked, and it gave me a really bad feeling. I walked in and passed it on the porch, reaching the door, which was half-open. I opened it slowly and watched the dark room, it didn’t seem to be anyone there. Had Nikolai went somewhere and left the house open?

It was the last thing I thought before I saw a figure moving behind me and feel a blow to the head as my conscience quickly faded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oya Oya Oya
> 
> What did you think of this chapter??? Some action and danger got here and I hope you want to read the rest.  
> Thanks for everything! <3


	16. Courage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys! 
> 
> After all this time, I'm still into you. HAHAHAHAHA! Here's one more chapter. This one is kind of hard reading, so, if you are sensitive to violence of all types (physical, psychological or sexual), please, don't read it. I tried to make it the more "ok" to read as possible, but given the situation, maybe is not enough. 
> 
> For the ones who are going to read, I hope you like it!
> 
> As always, kudos, comments and bookmarks are always welcome!

My heart was beating so fast...

I felt there was something wrong and could do absolutely nothing to soften that feeling. It was almost 6 in the afternoon and no answer from Otabek. It was impossible to stay there. Victor, who was totally calm before, looked uneasy on the couch and even LO was alert.

My head was twirling in fancy ideas to try to get Victor's key, however, any of my plans would be thwarted by the fact that Victor does self-defense drills, in addition to having an athletic bearing. Great time to remember the details that Yuuri tells me...

Yuuri?

Yuuri!

With my cell phone in my hands I had to look as discret as possible. I couldn’t let Victor catch me, which he would certainly do when he realized my plan, or everything would be lost. My fingers began to type the message that would bring me the hope I needed.

"Yuuri, read it carefully and do whatever I'm asking you to do in the way I say."   
"This is not a joke."  
"Don’t call me or call Victor, just believe me. JJ is hunting me, but I'm safe, with Victor. My grandfather and Otabek are in serious danger and I can’t get in touch with them. For God's sake, call the police and go to my house with the police. Do not go alone. You are my only hope. "

I sent the messages wishing with all my might that Yuuri answer me as quickly as possible. It was many minutes and I realized that Yuuri wasn’t online. He had received the message but hadn’t read it. It was getting harder and harder to calm down.

I went to Otabek's room and sat on his bed. His scent was present there, and the feeling that I could no longer see him made thick tears come out of my eyes like a storm that finally begins to fall. I had Victor there, but I felt more alone than ever. Afraid and scared.

I clung to the hope that Beka would answer the cell phone at some point. Had to try again. I dialed his number and waited for the best. It was calling! He had turned on his cell phone. After 4 rings finally, the call completed.

\- Beka?! Where are you?

\- Ah! Hi, kitty! What a surprise to hear your voice...

My brain assimilated every word and turned it into a terrible scenario. Jean was with Otabek. My boyfriend must be disabled or injured.

\- Since you did contact me, I'll tell you what you're going to do.

\- What did you do to him?

Ignoring my question, he continued.

\- You have to be at your house in an hour, or your boyfriend and grandpa will suffer the consequences of your disobedience.

\- Release...

The call ended, leaving me stunned by looking at the cell phone screen. Don’t panic. Don’t panic. Don’t panic. I had 1 hour to get out of that apartment and get to my house.

I stepped out of the room and tried to get Victor to hear the voice of reason.

\- Victor, Otabek is in danger! Him and my grandfather. Jean got Beka's cell phone. Please! We need to go after him!

\- I-I'm worried about them too, Yuri! But if that crazy’s goal is to reach you, the last thing you can do is go to him! Let's call the police and ask them to come in and check it out, but I cannot let you leave, for your own good.

\- FUCK MY “OWN GOOD”, VICTOR! I WANT TO RECOVER THE PEOPLE I LOVE!  
I screamed desperately trying to make him understand the situation.

He looked at me startled, but it seemed he understood that there was no other way.

\- Right. I'll get the car key and anything heavy to defend ourselves. But first, call the police and ask them to meet us at your house.

I breathed in relief. Victor got up from the couch and put his hands on my shoulders.

\- I like you, Plisetsky. Let's bring Otabek and his grandfather back, but I need you to explain this whole story to me.

I nodded and said,

\- On the way. We are late.

We climbed the elevator nervously. I knew that Vic was disappointed with himself for breaching Beka's promise. On the other hand, I could feel the concern he had for his friend, especially after I told him the details of the call.

Now we were in the car. Victor driving like a crazy Russian and me with a giant wrench in my hands. I couldn’t handle something so great and I wouldn’t have the strength to do so, I would leave it to Victor when we arrived. It was a silent journey, and I could only think of saving them.

We finally arrived. There were no police cars on the premises, which made me nervous. I checked the cell phone again and finally Yuuri had answered.

"Okay, I'm close to the nearest police station. In about 30 minutes I'll be at your house if everything goes well."

Shit! We had no time. I couldn’t wait. All I had to do was hope that the other police unit we called would arrive faster than that.

\- Come on, Yuri!

\- Take it, Victor. I won’t be able to use it.

We got out of the car and saw the gate open, even though the door wasn’t there.

\- Let me come in first, Yurio. Stay behind me.

We passed the porch and I saw Victor opening the door with his wrench in his hand. I stepped in behind him carefully. The room seemed empty, the lights were off and there was no sound coming from anywhere. Victor looked at me and gestured with his hand to my mouth, so I could keep quiet. He headed towards my room and signaled for me to wait in the living room while he checked.

I did as he asked, as I watched him disappear into the darkness of the corridor. I stopped to make no noise, and it was thanks to the silence that I could hear muffled sounds coming from my room. VICTOR! I ran off without a second thought. No one else will get hurt in this!

As I entered the room, I saw Victor on the floor fainting and looking at my bed, an Otabek face down in a pool of blood on my white sheets.

There was no more strength in my legs. I was a being made of just jitters and irregular heartbeats. Although I was seeing with my own eyes, I refused to accept the truth.

Cannibalized by my own pain, my body didn’t even have the strength to resist when JJ put a gag on me, almost making me suffocate. Dragged across the floor like I was 10 kg, not 50, I was thrown brutally, while Jean was tying my wrists mercilessly.

\- The kitten thought I didn’t know there was someone with him?

My eyes were lost on the ceiling of the room with one last hope that the police were coming, and that this nightmare would end quickly.

\- I'll get you out of here. I'll take you where no one can find you and you'll get what you've always wanted. You can stay with me being my bitch, only mine.

He approached my face, and as the tears spilled from my eyes running down my neck, his disgusting tongue began to lick my neck. I felt dirty again.

\- Hmm... No matter how nice it is, I'll hurry to take you. Who knows what time a certain old gentleman can return home. I'm sure he won’t be happy to see his grandchild like this...

My grandfather wasn’t home. He was safe for now. If I could no longer fight to stay with Otabek, I still had to fight for my grandfather.

In an outburst of adrenaline, I took advantage of Jean's all over me and kicked his balls, making him retreat for a moment. But it wasn’t enough time. He started holding my legs in his and the smile on his face went from crazy to killer.

\- Is that what you want to play with, kitten? So, I'm going to play with you too...

A forceful punch was struck against my stomach, making me miss the little breath I had. A second and a third were against my ribs. The pain I felt was unimaginable. I wanted to have more strength to fight against his onslaught, but more and more, my body was getting heavy and disobedient.

\- Do you know why don’t I wreck your pretty face? I like him like that. Looks like a little doll with those long blond hair... Come on. I'll be able to enjoy you later it as much as I want.

I was placed on his lap like a child, that position made my ribs hurt even more. There was nothing else to do. That would be my life from now on.

It was at this moment that I saw a flash of red and blue light through the window. Was it the police? For God's sake! I looked at JJ, he seemed not to have seen, as he continued toward the front door. When he opened the door, I could hear it loud and clear:

\- Put the victim on the floor and put your hands up!

For a moment he didn’t know what to do. I felt his arms falter, and finally I was thrown to the ground.

\- Hands up or we'll shoot!

I heard noises of sirens approaching. It was the other police cars. There was still hope of saving my Beka.

\- There are victims in there! Ambulance! Ambulance!  
I heard the screams.

The rest of the action was like a blur. The cops arrested Jean who didn’t seem to resist. I heard a policeman calling an ambulance on the radio, and along with the other policemen came Yuuri, who rushed over to me.

\- Yura! Are you alright? What happened?

\- Otabek! Victor!

My voice mingled with my tears, but Yuuri seemed to understand in readiness. He put my arm around his shoulders and carried me into the house.

\- Where, Yura?!

\- My room!

We arrived in my room and the grotesque scene was still there. Yuuri went first to Otabek who was very pale and put his fingers on his wrist. Nothing.

He looked for his jugular. Nothing.

Finally, Yuuri turned him over and put his ear to his heart.

\- It's beating! It's very weak but it's beating!

I ran to Otabek as Yuuri tried to wake Victor.

\- Vitya! Vitya!

Victor grunted a few sounds, sounded drunk, but he was fine.

Beka was getting colder. It must have been blood loss, but I didn’t know what to do. Crying wouldn’t help. I clung to his body, wanting to pass my heat on to him and asking any deity to protect him and not let him die in my arms.

Finally, the noise of the ambulance was present. A minute later, the paramedics entered the room and placed Beka and Victor on the stretcher and ran into the ambulance. I tried to follow in the footsteps of others, but my ribs hurt a lot.

\- Are you hurt, too?

I lifted my blouse and one of the paramedics exclaimed,

\- What did them do to you, child?

\- I took some punches.

\- You're coming with us! We must take an x-ray urgently.

Victor, who had woken up, was taken off the stretcher, on which they put me. When I got to the ambulance, one of the doctors was trying to stop Otabek’s bleeding.

\- Do you know what his blood type is?

\- N-No... Maybe in the driver's license!

They got the things out of their pocket and found the driver's license.

\- O positive!

\- I'm going to start the transfusion!  
Screamed the paramedic.

My body was lessening the adrenaline and I think I was fainting. The voices became more confused and hard to distinguish.

\- He's losing a lot...

\- One bag won’t...

When I woke up, I was lying on a hospital bed. My first thought was: "BEKA!". I stood up suddenly and was stunned by an immense pain in my chest. I looked down and saw that my torso was completely bandaged. Damn it! Jean must have broken some rib with those punches.

I looked to the side and saw my boyfriend. He had a bandage on his head and blood. Is he okay? Will it have sequelae? My eyes wandered around looking for a doctor or nurse, however, they found Yuuri and Victor sleeping on a sofa in the corner of the room.

The door opened and one of the doctors entered. Without controlling myself, I asked the doctor almost shouting,

\- He... Is he going to be okay? How is he?

\- Easy boy. Lie down again in bed. You cannot make sudden movements out of nothing. He fractured your ribs in 3 different spots. It will have to stand for at least 1 month.

\- I want to know about Beka!

\- Well, he's lost a lot of blood thanks to a knock-off. We did the preliminary exams and apparently, he had a mild concussion, it shouldn’t leave any sequels. So, his condition is stable, however, he must stay here until his blood quantity recovers and his consciousness returns.

\- Thank you.

He walked over to Yuuri and Victor waking them up and they rushed to me when they saw me.

\- Yura... How do you feel?

If only I could answer in words how much of a nightmare it was, and how much I blamed myself for Beka being hurt. Everyone suffered because I made a wrong choice.

All I could do was grab my friend, hug him and cry. I felt Victor's arms around us, and that brought me even more pain. My family was suffering there for me, and all I did was fail to them.

\- I'm sorry!  
I spoke in a choked voice.

\- It's going to be all right, Yura. We are here for you!

\- What about my grandpa?

\- He’s home. We suggested that he doesn’t come to see you in this situation because he is a cardiac. But we reassure him, you'll be fine. I asked my mother to watch over him tonight. Don’t worry.

\- Thank you, Pig. I owe you everything. And thank you, Victor. If you hadn’t agreed to go with me, Otabek might have been dead.

\- I thank you, Yurio. If you hadn’t yelled at me then, I wouldn’t have realized how bad the situation was. Without sentimentality, we are friends, aren’t we?  
Victor smiled at me, making me quieter.

After the nightmare passed, it was time to face the consequences. I rolled over in bed at night, couldn’t close my eyes. I had a difficult decision to make. Certainly, it would be a long night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man, I really hope you understand how sick is JJ. But now, my babies are safe. <3
> 
> I'd love to know what did you think of this chapter.
> 
> See ya! <3


	17. After

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, guys! Not so much time, after all. Next chapter is the last and I already can feel my heart turning blue.   
> But I hope you enjoy this one. 
> 
> As always, kudos, comments, bookmarks, subs and all love are welcome.

A whole month passed.

I was at home with my grandfather, sitting on the couch, my head resting on his shoulder, and he was making me a coiffure. My ribs were healed, my heart, however, shattered.

\- Son, since the Otabek woke up, you haven’t spoken to him.

\- I wanted the courage to do it.

\- What's stopping you?

\- I don’t know, Grandpa. I don’t know what's going through his mind.

\- If you won’t talk to him, you won’t find out.

\- Grandpa, I wish you to understand that it is not easy as it seems.

\- Then you explain to me what this is so complicated.

\- Every day when I wake up, I think about the amount of blood in my bed. His blood. All because I was incapable of doing something about JJ. And I swear I cannot live with it. Beka didn’t deserve this. I don’t deserve him.

\- Be aware that this is only in your head. Otabek must be very sad. He has done everything to keep you safe, it’s not fair that he doesn’t receive at least an explanation. You're acting like a coward and that's unacceptable, Yuri Plisetsky.  
My grandfather said, looking very sad and angry.

I didn’t know what to say. As much as he was right, I couldn’t handle the guilt of putting everyone at risk.

\- I'm going to bed. Think about what I said. No one risks his life for someone who does not love.

My grandfather got up and went to his room, leaving me abandoned on that sofa. Everything I didn’t want. Stay alone and have plenty of reasons to think about Otabek.

Every moment we passed was a beautiful memory. My elbow on his face, his embrace in the observatory, our meeting in the French cafe, the kiss in the nightclub, my apology in the middle of the night, our dinner, the first fuck... My heart warmed, making me smile involuntarily. I could never forget those feelings. I knew very well that my grandfather was right. It was cowardly of me, and at the same time, I just wanted to apologize for putting him in danger.

I decided to call Yuuri, who wasn’t at all happy about my attitude, but I needed to hear his voice, even if it was to complain to me and say that I was an idiot. I let the sound of the call echo into the speaker.

\- I don’t want to talk to you.

\- But Yuuri...

\- I don’t want to know. I won’t accept this, is ridiculous.

I heard the beep of the ending of the call.  
Would anyone hear me? Would anyone give me reason?

The message alarm sounded, and I saw a message from Yuuri.

"There's no way I can’t stay by your side like that.”

I let my mind wander for countless hours. Every second seemed a complete judgment of my actions and I needed absolution. I wanted Otabek to forgive me for putting him in danger and wanted him to take me back. I'm an idiot, I know it. But if everyone disagrees with me, there has to be a reason.

"No one risks his life for someone who does not love." My grandfather said. Was it real that I was only hurting Beka even more by not talking to him? What if I had kept him away with my silence and not with all the situation we had?

I miss him so much. Every cell in my body screamed for longing. Necessity. I wanted to sleep with him again, feel his perfect smell, lying on his chest, receiving his affection... And no matter how much guilty consumed me, my desire was greater. And it was at this moment that I realized that my clothes were wet with tears that came down easily and uncontrollably.

 

Otabek POV

 

I did everything the doctor prescribed. I rested, ate food with plenty of iron, took food supplements, and everything else, yet I felt sick. As if all the energy in my body was sucked. I felt weak, not wanting to do anything. The food had no taste, nothing made me smile. And I knew why. The disappearance of Yura after what happened left me shocked. He hadn’t spoken to me since I woke up. Victor explained that he was feeling guilty, but what really hurt me was the fact that his sense of guilt surpassed his feeling for me.  
17 days without calls. No messages. No touches. No kissing.

\- LO, tell me ... What do I do to close this black hole in my heart?  
I asked the cat in my lap.

Not that I was going to get an answer, but it was good to have someone to keep me company. How much I miss my Yura... The day after we started dating. I did everything I could, I gave myself up completely. And now I was alone again, as if it had meant nothing.

I was fully aware that LO couldn’t do anything about the tears I was shedding or about the pain in my chest. There was someone who could, but he didn’t want me anymore. My sadness made my body turn off on that cold night in the middle of spring.

I felt light kicks on my face and the noise of the doorbell made me wake up. It was 3 in the morning. I laughed at myself as I remembered the last time someone rang my bell so late, but this time it wouldn’t be him, or the doorman would have called to announce. Someone in the building? Not giving a shit about who it was I wore only my robe and my underwear, I got up and went to open the door.

Involuntarily, my heart skipped as I put my hand on the doorknob. The door opened, and I saw him. In just a few seconds I could see his green eyes flooded with tears and as sad as mine.

\- Beka, I...

\- After.

I pulled him to me, unable to contain my desire.

 

Yuri POV

 

I was thrown into at the door while his tongue intertwined with mine. It was more than just desire. I just wanted to say how sorry I was for being an idiot, but before I could say a word, his body held me up and everything else lost its meaning. My shirt was already on the floor, leaving me with only 5/8 socks and my underwear.

My hands quickly reached the loop in his robe, untying it and displaying his body. Beka was thin, pale. It was my fault. More tears were coming off as his mouth dropped to my neck.

\- Forgive me, Beka!

Beka grabbed my waist and came down with his mouth quickly to my abdomen, depositing kisses that lit all the sparks asleep in my body. My desire was like his.  
I touched his face and felt it wet.

\- Don’t cry! I’m the idiot here!

He didn’t answer me, just knelt down, lowered my underwear and took my cock in his mouth. I felt the heat emanating from it burn inside me. I was sucked with all my heart that could be described. My dick went down to the back of his throat and he didn’t seem to mind the shortness of breath or any discomfort.

\- Beka! Ahn!

My legs trembled, causing my body to slip through the door.

\- Come with me.

He got up and led me to his room. When we arrived, he said:

\- Look at me.

I looked into the depths of his swollen, red eyes, making sure I heard him.

\- You can leave if you want. I won’t disturb you, I won’t persecute you. I just want you to be happy, whatever you decide. Just please, don’t use me and walk away as if it meant nothing.

\- I couldn’t do that. All I did was regret all these days for wanting to be with you. I cannot leave you because I love you and this is one of the few things that still make sense in my life.

\- If you love me, then fuck me! I am here!

I pushed him to his bed and climbed on top of him and held his arms above his head, preventing him from moving. I would show him my love and all the feelings repressed during those days that we have passed away.

My tongue raced down his neck, absorbing the taste. Salted by sweat and tears. Bitter by the distance. Sweet by the passion we felt for each other. Soon I was on his nipples, sucking them gently, biting him, making him back arch with pleasure.

\- Yuu-Yuuura!

My name came out of his mouth, in his deep, hot voice... I involuntarily moaned with desire and in only 1 movement, his cock was in my mouth. They were very fast actions. I removed my mouth from him for a moment, to suck on two of my fingers that were soon at his warm, wet entrance.

\- Yuri, I don’t...

\- Fuck it! I'll make you cum.

My mouth went back to his cock, running my tongue over the head, my fingers penetrating through his tight tissues searching for his point of pleasure. I felt his body tremble beneath mine, and I knew it was there.

\- Ahn!

I intensified the suction, trying to feel his taste in me. I needed. I pressed his button again and continued massaging, causing uncontrollable spasms.

\- Yura! YURA!

His liquid flooded into my mouth. It tasted of his love for me. I would accept it anyway.

I climbed up to his face and watched his expression of pleasure. My own forgotten member began to complain about his release.

\- Turn around.

I did as Beka told me. I stood with my back to the top. I felt his hands massaging my ass, squeezing and separating the halves. His tongue invaded my anus without the slightest ceremony, making me cramp to receive it.

\- I know you're greedy, but I don’t want to hurt you.

\- Please, love. I need you.

He stepped away for a moment and came back with his fingers on me. This time, going freely, making me go crazy with every touch. As soon as his fingers came out, they gave place to his cock that slowly made his way inward, making me an extension of his body.

\- I missed you so much!

\- Beka!  
I cried his name wildly.

Each thrust inside me freed my heart from guilt and fear.

\- I thought you didn’t want me... Ah!

\- I love you! Please, forgive me!

My hip was pulled countless times against his, incessantly rubbing my prostate. I was at my limit. My body screamed with my muscles and voice. Cries and asks for forgiveness were confused between our moans and sounds of flesh against flesh. Waves of pleasure roamed my body causing Beka to lower his body over mine. His hot tongue was now inside my ear and his pace slowed. His cock was so deep and so slowly that for a moment I thought I was going to faint with pleasure.

My body shuddered and I came without him at least touching me, and after me, the heat of his cum spread through my insides, marking me completely as his.  
Exhausted, we simply fall asleep hugged and for the first time in many days, I felt at peace.

In the morning we were still holding each other like two stones. My arm was numb with the weight of his head propped up, but I didn’t care. It was precious moments that I wouldn’t let slip between my fingers again.

I looked at his face and saw purple circles under his eyes. The time we were apart didn’t do any good for any of us.

\- Beka...

\- Hm...

\- Wake up. Let's talk.

\- I don’t even get a "good morning "?  
He said with his eyes still closed.

\- I'll push you out of bed if you don’t wake up.

He opened his eyes, and I saw the joy in his eyes.

\- Look how the tables turn…

\- Beka. Forgive me.

\- I already forgave you, Yura. You hurted me. Especially for not talking to me after I wake up. But at the same time, I understand that you were afraid.

\- I was an idiot. Everyone told me. My grandfather, Yuuri and even Victor sent me a message saying that I should have stayed by your side.

\- You should have heard it sooner.

\- It wasn’t that simple, Beka. If you had found me in the situation I found you... I almost thought about giving up and giving myself to that guy because I thought you were dead. You had your head in a pool of blood on my bed. How do you think I would react?

\- Yura...

\- When I got the hang of it, me and the Pig went to you. Your body was cold, your heartbeats very weak. What if it was you in my place? I swear I thought I was going to lose you.

\- I think I understand. But it was my fault, I shouldn’t have gone alone.

\- We were both dumb. I should have told you he was after me. That he had threatened me and ordered me to break up with you.

My eyes filled with tears again. Beka took me into his arms and cherished me as if he himself wasn’t as wounded as I was.

\- Shh... It's over, Yura. My lawyer is already working to get that crazy guy to spend as much time as possible in jail.

\- It’s not enough! He must pay for everything!

\- He'll pay. His sentence will include attempt of rape. The prisoners themselves will handle it. I'll make sure he stays in the worst place possible.

\- I... What would I do without you?

\- You were the best thing that ever happened in my life, Yura. So, I want to ask you to join me in something I want to do.

\- What are you planning?

\- No big deal... Come on, let's take a shower.

We got up and headed for his bathroom. We took a quick shower in the shower, Beka looked anxious about something I had no idea what it was.

\- Hey, Beka. Are you feeling good?

\- Yes, I am. Just a little nervous.

\- With what?

\- Let's get dressed and I'll tell you.

We got dressed and went into the living room. LO was awake and started meowing at the sight of Otabek, who promptly picked her up to pamper.

\- What does my sweetheart want? Do you want some food?

\- This is one side of Otabek Altin that really impresses me...

\- Oh, baby! Do you want me to give you home, food and affection too?

\- I can’t believe you're doing baby talk with me...

\- Hahahahaha! I love you even to enjoy your morning bad mood.

\- What did you want to tell me?

He took my hand and we went towards the hall. We stopped in front of one of the rooms that was never opened in front of me. I automatically squeezed his hand.

\- Do not be nervous, Yura.

\- Are you sure is ok?

\- I need it. It's time to heal from the things of the past, too.

I hugged him and nodded. I would be by his side. Now and for how long he wanted me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, again! Hope you guys have enjoyed everything so far. It was a long journey, but now is almost ending. Thank you so much for reading until here. <3
> 
> See ya!


	18. My philos, my agape, my eros

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it people.
> 
> I'm here full of sentimentality to say that it's gone sweet. I know it took me a lot of time to update. I know. But I wanted to do something that reflected the feeling of what I had built throughout the story, that my characters were rebuilding themselves.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you like the last chapter of TOTBL and have enjoyed the whole journey here. Thank you for all the love and support. Without you, none of this would have happened.
> 
> Good reading!
> 
> And read the final notes. Love yal!

“I remember all of the things that I thought I wanted to be  
So desperate to find a way out of my world and finally breathe  
Right before my eyes I saw that my heart it came to life  
This ain't easy it's not meant to be  
Every story has its scars…”

\----------------------------

His hand squeezed mine so I could feel all of his hesitation, but we finally went into that room. It was definitely a child's room.

\- It's bigger than I remembered... Maybe because it's emptier?

\- Beka...

\- Don’t worry about me, Yura. I'll be fine.

He looked at every corner. He walked to the dresser and stopped in front of the picture frames that were there. I went to Otabek, who now held one of the photos. It was the first time I had seen the face of his parents and sister. His mother was a gorgeous woman, with curly black hair and a stunning smile. His father looked more serious, but still smiling at the photo. Otabek's strong traits were no doubt inherited from him. The little girl looked like a copy of her mother, a child who had all the happiness in her eyes, just like her older brother. The four of them looked very happy in the picture that seemed to be taken at Disney in the background.

\- It was our last family trip. Irlla had asked me to carry her over my shoulder in the blazing sun of Disney that summer. I refused to do that.

I hugged him from behind. His body was rigid.

\- If I had known what would happen a few months later, I would never have denied it.

A few warm drops fell on my arms, which enveloped him. He walked quickly to the bed, from which he picked up a giant teddy bear and hugged him. I'd never seen Beka so vulnerable.

\- This... This is Beka. I gave it as a gift for Irlla's 6th year anniversary. She was so happy that she named the bear with the same nickname as me.

Tears streamed down his face. There was nothing I could do other than stand by his side.

\- I loved her, Yuri. So much. I know I've often been teasing and annoying, but I've always wanted everything better for my sister. I loved her.

\- It’s not true. You still love her. She's still alive, deep inside you. You don’t have to erase your memories of the people you love.

\- Yuri…

He hugged me, resting his face on my shoulder, this time pouring into a cry like our first night of love. My Beka was more human and fragile than he looked.

\- Please, Yura. Keep the bear with you.

\- But Beka, I... I can’t. It was your sister's.

\- She's not here anymore, but I am. I want him to stay with the person I love. With the person who shares everything with me.

There was only that option. I could only accept it. The bear and his love.

\- I keep it safe.

Otabek looked at me in a strange way. I couldn’t decipher what was going on in his head.

\- There's one more place I need to go to.

He didn’t have to say where. We left her sister's room and went straight to their parents' room. Beka opened the door with some key. He seemed calmer, so I just stood by his side without speaking, taking in the one of my hands the bear that was now mine.

\- This was my parents' room. I avoided coming here since I was a kid.

\- Why?

\- I always felt that I was invading their privacy.

\- I doubt they would see it that way.

\- It may be... Irlla, on the contrary, whenever she could came up with a reason to sleep with them.  
Otabek said, heading for a beautiful light metal dresser that housed several small boxes.

\- Things stay here...

He opened some of the boxes, pulling brushes inside.

\- Makeups mock.

\- It's all very neat here.

\- I pay the maid more to keep both this room and Irlla's room always clean and with things at the same place. I know it's crazy. I really do. But having this place here, it’s as if they had made a trip and one day would return. I never felt ready to get rid of them.

\- You're getting rid of them. How could you? They are your parents. This will never change, Beka.

Otabek came up to me again and hugged me. This time, no tears. I think all he needed at the moment was to feel protected. And I gave my best.

\- Dad always said that I would become a man like him. But he always had his head down, looking at papers, emptying his troubled mind. I've always been looking at the sky. I never wanted this life. I don’t think he noticed. Maybe my mother knew, but she never said anythin.

\- Beka...

\- Don’t misunderstand me. They were excellent parents. Very loving and protective, but sometimes they failed to understand me.

\- It's normal, Beka. We all fail at something, the important thing is the love that you cultivated. They've raised the most amazing guy in the world. He is kind, sensitive, loving, caring, brave, and all those things that make me love him. It’s a great merit to build such a beautiful human being.

Otabek broke the embrace and looked at me, still holding on to my shoulders. His smile was loving and nothing but tranquility rested on his face.

\- Let's get out of here, Yura.

\- Let's go. I’ll make coffee.

\- Is not it. Let's get out of here. From this apartment.

\- I don’t understand…

\- I told you about my father, that he always lived looking down, trapped the things that he considered important. And here I am doing exactly the same thing. Keeping me from looking up, from seeing my future on a new horizon. Stuck in this house that holds my greatest sorrows and joys. I need something new. I need to get out of here. And I... I wanted to...

\- Speak, Beka.

\- I wanted you to go with me. I mean... Will you live with me, Yura?

I was paralyzed for a moment. I didn’t know if it was real or not.

"I... I... I want to, Beka. But I cannot leave my grandfather there and simply disappear with you. He is sick and if I’m not around, he easily neglect his health.

\- We can find a way, Yura. I just don’t want to sleep here without you anymore...

\- Let's find a way.

We finally left the room. Otabek hugged me from behind as we walked, preventing me from taking a step without him.

\- Hey! Did you turn into a super glue?

\- It's that you're magnetic, like the field of the earth.

\- You’re always wanting to conquer me with these cheap astrophysicist lines...

\- Still works?

\- I'll think about your case…

Beka turned me to him and kissed me. His arms wrapped around my waist, pressing my body against his. It was in those little moments that the all the rest stop making sense. I could only concentrate on his warm lips sucking mine. I already wanted more, even after everything that happened during the night.

\- I think we'd better have some toast and coffee, Yura...

\- I wouldn’t mind if you wanted to eat something else…

\- I think we need to get some sugar in our body first.

\- I prefer protein...

\- Yura! What happened to you?  
Beka chuckled.

\- Come on, I'll explain...

\---------------------------

“But when the pain cuts you deep  
When the night keeps you from sleeping  
Just look and you will see  
That I will be your remedy  
When the world seems so cruel  
And your heart makes you feel like a fool  
I promise you will see  
That I will be, I will be your remedy”

\----------------------------------

When we finished it was already more than 1 in the afternoon. I was exhausted and wanted only to rest, but hunger completely prevented me from doing so.

\- Beka, if you want to starve me, please let me prepare myself first.

\- You're the one who stopped me from making coffee...

\- Now it's time for lunch.

\- Shall we order food?

\- Actually, I think we have another option. Wait a minute…

I ran for my cell phone in the room and called my grandfather. I told him we were going to have lunch with him. Of course it wasn’t for free. I heard some Russian cursing for not having warned him before, but he would prepare our traditional Piroshkis.

I went back to the living room and talked to Otabek.

\- We have a place to eat. My grandfather will make Piroshkis and you won’t even think about refusing. It will be a good opportunity to talk about the future.

\- You know, Yura. I've been thinking... I think I want to donate my sister's and my parents' things. I want to start my life again.

\- It's a big step to take, but you've been here a long time, it's healthy to change. Anyway, I can only think with my belly full, let's go, before I faint.

The drive to my house was quiet. We were quiet during the stretch. Part of it because we are tired and part because we are hungry. After 20 minutes, we arrived. I was somewhat apprehensive about telling my grandfather that we were planning to live together. He doesn’t even know we're actually dating.

I opened the door and was greeted by a wonderful smell of Piroshki as we entered.

\- Yuri! Come on! Bring the boy over here.

\- Otabek, Grandpa. It's Otabek.

\- Right, right.

We went to the kitchen and my grandfather had the table ready for lunch.

\- Hello, Otabek! I'm glad that after all this time you went into this house to eat my traditional Piroshki.

\- The pleasure is all mine.

\- It's not enough to begin to thank you for doing so much for Yuratchka.

\- I think in the end I caused more trouble than I helped...

\- Hey! Don’t talk about me like I'm not here.

\- Go get one of the wines I've been saving for your boyfriend. Let's celebrate today!

\- But Grandpa, how do you know we're dating?

"You think Yuuri didn’t tell me about the observatory night?

\- Bloody gossip Katsudon!

\- Let's eat!

We sat at the table and made our meal. I was practically fainting from hunger, resurrected from the dead, and Beka ate so fast that I thought he would choke at any moment.

\- Otabek, have you been feeding properly, son?

\- Yeah. Sorry to look like a monster eating. It's been a long time since I've tasted something so good!

\- I'm glad you liked it.

Well, if there was any time to bring the white elephant to the table, that was it. Grandpa was in a good mood and Otabek had his mouth full. I took a deep breath and said:

\- Otabek and I are going to live together.

Beka's gagging was inevitable this time around. My grandfather stood completely still and unable to say anything. For a moment I worried about his heart.

\- Grandpa?! Are you alright?

\- I... I just wasn’t ready for that now.

\- Yura! Why did you talk about it right now?  
Asked Otabek after a few sips of wine to disentangle.

\- I don’t know. It just happened.

\- And what did you expect me to say? "You’re only leaving over my dead body?"

\- I don’t know, okay?

\- Of course I'm going to miss you, but you've had your freedom taken so many times... I wouldn’t be able to tell you not to go, my son.

\- But Grandpa, we still don’t know how we'll do it. You're sick and I have to keep an eye. It's not like I'm leaving you behind.

\- I'm an old man, Yura. I won’t be forever. It’s not good for you to be alone, and if it is to stand beside someone, I would rather be someone who would do anything for you.

\- Stop that. You still have many, many years to go.

\- May I say something?  
Otabek said.

\- You can talk, son.

\- I want to sell the apartment I currently live in. We can look for places nearby so we would be at a distance where we could take care of each other.

\- Beka? But what about your neighborhood? You live on the beach…

\- I don’t care about any of this, Yura. I only care to stay somewhere if I can be with you.

\- I think it's time the old man left. Things are too sweet and my diabetes won’t let me... Ah! The dishes are yours.

We laughed. That was the secret. What I most wanted. That feeling that my life was finally at the center and everything would be all right.

\------------------------------------

“No river is too wide or too deep for me to swim to you  
Come whenever I'll be the shelter that won't let the rain come through  
Your love, it is my truth  
And I will always love you  
Love you, love you”

\---------------------------------

After that day, Otabek and I started packing things in his apartment. While the realtor was dealing with the sale of the apartment and the purchase of the other, we tried to pack things up. I did the work during the days, on vacation, along with Amelia, the lady who clean his house, and Beka helped me when he arrived. They were boxes and more boxes of small and large things. On one of the weekends, we had to take things out of his parents' and sister's room. Otabek was telling several stories as we sorted. They were a happy family. The only item he couldn’t undo was his mother's dressing table. It was a really beautiful and unique item.

\- What are we going to do with the dressing table, my love?

\- I thought about putting it in our room. It has seen a most beautiful woman in the world for years. I think it's fair that now it serves the most beautiful man in the world.

Beka knew how to leave me speechless.

\- I think you just say those things to make me uncomfortable.

\- Yura. I'll praise you whenever possible, the whole time, because you deserve it.

\- Be sincere, Otabek... You just want to fuck me, don’t you?

\- Look, of course it wasn’t for that, but if you give me sex, I cannot deny your wish...

\- Otabek Altin, do not provoke me.  
I said laughing.

\- Let's get it over with. I still have to call the donations truck and then I'll take care of you.

After a whole month searching for a good apartment near my house, the broker found a place two blocks away from my grandpa’s house. It was a newly built building with two parking spaces. Two bedrooms and an office.

We started the change. It was the chaos in our lives. But it was a good chaos. The beginning of something new for both of us. Living with someone wouldn’t be easy and we knew it. It was still a little surreal that we would live together with so little dating time. But so much has already happened between us... I wasn’t the same. Beka wasn’t the same.

We paused for a moment to breathe. The furniture and appliances were installed, now there were only the boxes with the small utensils and objects of decoration.

\- Come on, Yura! Sit here with me on the couch.

\- Wanting to be lazy with me?

\- Hug me.

\- We're sweaty, Beka. It's hot…

\- I like your sour smell of sweat...

\- Now I don’t really want to. I'm not you that sweats and still smell good.

\- Let's finish putting things in place, then. Today I'm going to cook. Call your grandfather, Yuuri and Victor.

\- Wow! Otabek is cooking today?

\- I'll make ricotta ravioli.

I gave up pissing myself off with the sweat or the heat and jumped on top of him putting kisses on his face. I was so happy. I didn’t want to attribute my happiness to the shooting star, but considering all the happiness we shared at that moment, I could make a concession.

I gave Otabek the time to prepare the dough and stuff it while I made the last adjustments in the house. I had called and told everyone that this would be dinner to open the house. We showered together, and saved a few minutes for some kissing in the shower.

At 8 pm our guests arrived. Victor and Yuuri brought my grandfather. Nikolai's eyes sparkled at the sight of the place.

\- Yura! How beautiful the apartment is!  
Yuuri said holding me tight.

\- You two have very good taste. Thank you for inviting us!

\- It's our pleasure, Victor. Come in and make yourselves comfortable.

\- Yuratchka. This place reminds me of you.

\- Thank you, Grandpa!

I hugged him. I would always find my safe harbor there.

\- Come, Beka is in the kitchen.

I led them into the kitchen, where my boyfriend started putting the delicate pasta in the boiling water.

\- It's good that you cook well, Otabek. The skinny guy here is really demanding...

\- Otabek is an excellent cooker, he's just lazy. If it had been a calculation, he would have finished, for sure!

\- Just wait till I make my katsudon... You'll forget about any food that's been tried before!

\- Don’t lie, darling. It's no use taking your mother's katsudon and giving it to them to try and say it's yours...

\- I've seen it happen, Victor. It's embarrassing.

\- Hey!

\- You’re distracting me, if the food is bad cooked, it’s entirely your fault...

\- I think this is our call to go back into the room, guys.  
My grandfather said.

\- Go on, I'll catch up.

They retreated, leaving me and Beka in the kitchen.

\- You too, love.

\- I thought you wanted my company.

\- I always want to, but you're the biggest distraction of all...

\- But I’ll be quiet...

\- Come here.

Beka put the masses aside for a moment and hugged me. Warm. Cozy.

\- I love you, Yura. Thank you for changing my life.

\- I love you, Beka. Thank you for saving me. Of everything.

We stayed for a brief moment there. Hugged and completely surrounded by the layers of feelings between us.

\- Hey! Is that why you kicked us, Otabek?  
Yuuri asked, feigning irritation.

\- I'm going, piggy.

It was really a complete life. I had my philos, my agape and my eros.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my angels! Did you like it? Hope so. I hope it was a journey as good for you as it was for me. I loved everything. I loved you. I know I've already thanked you up there, but I'd like to thank you again, because I'm really grateful. You are awesome!
> 
> See you next level!

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, guys! I hope you have enjoyed it. Please, let me know if you like it! <3


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